astra inclinant sed non obligant

There are tons of moments when your companions are forced to confront parts of their past they can't shake. You always have the option to speak up for them if you like, but most times you also have the option to say nothing (sometimes the prompt is literally "say nothing," sometimes it's "let [character] handle this."

And this is such an important tactic of playing at the table: turning the spotlight onto to another player and letting them handle it. Because the story isn't just about your player character, it's about all of you.

When you do choose that option, I've noticed more often than not that the character approves of you letting them take the wheel. When you try to speak up for them, they may not express disapproval, but it comes up in the fiction. I tried to defend Astarion once and an NPC was like, "You're letting swine speak for you now?" and Astarion shouted, "I don't need anyone to speak for me!" He's right! This is his moment! Why did I say anything?

Baldur's Gate doesn't have to do this! There's no actual person piloting your companions. And in games a lot of people will say it's usually best practice to keep the spotlight on the players. But BG3 is a video game based on a tabletop game, and I think this is one of the main differences between the two. Maybe it's a tiny detail, but giving the player the option to relinquish the spotlight (and oftentimes encouraging and rewarding it) is such an incredible detail, and faithful to the medium the game is trying to emulate.

LOOK AT THE DETAILS

These two pictures (Astarion's face) are from the same dialogue but two slightly different routes.

In both pictures you can tell him "I deeply care about you", to which he answers "Really?".

In the first picture his face is waiting, open and hopeful, and in the previous dialogue choices you simply listened to him talk about his lack of bodily autonomy, and agreed with him by selecting:

There is a brief dialogue where you agree that he is more than an object to be used and his face is open, hopeful when he asks "really?"

The second picture instead only happens if you choose the "sex" option in the dialogue:

If you express your hope that he would throw himself at you for respecting his boundaries he adds that he is not sure he should. You can still get the good "ending" for this conversation by asking him "if you don't want people to see you in terms of sex, then how?"

To this you can reply "I care deeply about you" like in the other route but this time Astarion is distrustful. His "really" has a completely different meaning (from his expression) :

He is definitely closed up and distrustful, waiting for your answer.

he's angry at selune and he's angry at the world and he's angry at himself, and he's convinced himself that his allegiance with myrkul is the Only option and that his wife, were she still alive and in his position, would do the same even though she absolutely would not. but he Needs to convince himself that she would. that he's doing the right thing in burning down the world to bring back his daughter.

ketheric diary screencaps under readmore

The icon for Banishment is so funny.