
#extradirty
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Kiana Khansmith
ojovivo
almost home
Mike Driver
todays bird
Today's Document


ellievsbear

Love Begins
Cosmic Funnies
h
Sweet Seals For You, Always

pixel skylines

shark vs the universe

Origami Around
Noah Kahan
The Stonewall Inn
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@mo-mo316

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Human: Deal.
Fey: Very well. When you return home tonight, your mother will be in pristine health again. It will be like she never fell ill at all. Even the memory of her suffering will fade…
Human: Thank you so much. She means everything to me.
Fey: I know, I know. Let’s hope the price wasn’t too much for you after all… Only time will tell.
Human: So, when do we start?
Fey: …If I may ask you to elaborate?
Human: You said you wanted my firstborn.
Fey: Yes? And you agreed?
Human: Yeah, so, when do we start?
Fey:
Fey, blushing: Ah.
So good. It deserved a some art.
Bruce Wayne in the middle of a robbery/hijacking at a gala or something, completely done and just so tired mentally and physically and really not wanting to sneak out and get suited up as the bat: Hey can I like pay you to do this another day? Can...is that something I can do?
The villain of the day knowing damn well that Bruce is always a nice hostage, always willing to play along with their schemes and sometimes fun enough to try and stop them: you good bro?
Bruce: If I give you fifty thousand dollars right now will you let everyone go?
Harley: Oh yeah just wire it to my bank account! But first *puts on doctor coat* let's talk about you
Don't just leave this in the tags sgshdh
brock-obama:
Owls confirmed to be the creepiest birds ever. LOOK AT THE FUCKING THINGS. If you fail to notice the one on the left fucking SWALLOWING a rat, then you have the dude singing some satanic chant or something next to him, and then you have those two other fucking psychos synchronized to make you feel creeped the fuck out with their soulless dance of FUCKING DOOM.
I really am tempted to reblog this every time it’s on my dash. That description is one of the best things on the internet.
Yeahhhh, I want this on my blog again.
OMG MY FAVORITE TUMBLR POST EVER IT’S FINALLY BACK YAY!
Here, have another of my all-time favorite Tumblr posts.
We were just discussing this again and I had to reblog it again because IT IS MY FAVORITE
I’m permanently traumatized that you introduced me to this over lunch, EGT.
::bows with a flourish::
There’s a gif out there of some people reenacting this that makes me laugh til I puke every damn time.
@revfrog
World Heritage Post
I remember when this was new. I’m dying just as hard now as I did then.
Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move
Gotta try it
I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.
Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path.
Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”
I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.
Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.
Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.
I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.
I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.
Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.
WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA
It’s called the Murder Strut.
IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!
A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post.
One day and I bumped into a guy while doing the Murder Strut and he apologized to me even though I was the one who had bumped into him.
It works wonders.
In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let ‘em know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them.
If there’s anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize I’m not moving for them, I can’t think of it atm.
Walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.
Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how.
Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you.
Tumblr: teaching women how to be Moses and part the fucking Red Sea with the power of their minds.
I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT
Patriarchy Chicken and The Murder Strut, dance names for the new millenium.
OH MY GOD I HAD BARELY SCROLLED DOWN THIS POST AND WAS GONNA SAY “JUST TAKE SOME ADVICE FROM ME THAT I LEARNT FROM AN OLD TUMBLR POST ABOUT WALKING LIKE THE WINTER SOLDIER FROM YEARS AGO” BUT THEN IT TURNED OUT TO BE THIS POST
I first discovered this a few years ago when I was an insecure 14-year-old, and since then I indeed do the “murder strut” and staunch everywhere I go, literally works wonders
murder strut works wonders in the airport and school.
Back in HS, other kids would kinda stream behind me like the tail of a comet because I was several inches taller than most of the student population and the Murder Strut was just…how I walked. Amazingly effective.

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Harry Potter AU in which Fred and George are in different houses and they steal and wear each others ties whilst doing stupid things in hope of the others house losing points
Finally a Fred and George AU that doesn’t make me want to set myself on fire.
AU where Fred and George are in different houses and they get their hands on house ties from the other two houses as well. By the end of their first year nobody knows which house either of them is in and just take points off a random house whenever they see a redhead getting up to something.
The confusion runs so deep by the time Ron starts that Snape once takes points off Slytherin for Ron fighting with Malfoy.
There’s a few months in Fred and George’s second year when they successfully convince most of the school that they’re actually quadruplets, one in each house.
“George! Why are you wearing a Slytherin tie?”
“What? No, I’m Edward. Y'know, Slytherin’s resident Weasley?”
“Wh…huh???”
“Next you’ll be telling me you don’t know Hubert!”
“?????”
After this confusing quadruple mess, a conspiracy theory emerges that Fred and George are actually just one person, and there were never any Weasley Twins. To add fuel to this theory, Fred and George make a point to never be seen together (publicly).
When asked about this theory, Fred/George subtly insinuates that he used Polyjuice Potion so that there could be multiple versions of himself at once. This goes around the Hogwarts Rumor Mill like fire. The Weasley family says nothing to dispute it, not even Percy.
Percy makes polyjuice successfully for the first time in his fifth year, when he finally has sufficient motivation. Fred, George, Edward and Hubert walk into the great hall one morning, identical but for their school ties, and the chaos is so great that nobody realizes Percy and Ron are missing.
This post contains the same chaotic energy the twins display and I’m here for it
bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent
happy 3 yr anniversary to the post that singlehandedly launched the twilight renaissance
sometimes I tweet about the funny/cute/utterly bizarre shit my 3rd graders do and say
the latest dispatches from room 156
happy monday folks
room 156 is BACK bitches and better than ever!!!!!!!!
a special room 156 update in honor of election 2020
2020 continues to be A Time but at least my 3rd graders continue to be the funniest people on the goddamn planet
have not updated this post in a while so here, enjoy some room 156 content in these trying times
sorry if you find updates to this post annoying but this is my tumblr and I’ll be as annoying as I want baybeeeeeeeeeeee
there are only 7 school days left and I’m feeling Emo™️ about it so here are some room 156 tweets
Listen, if Toph had went off on her own for a while in Ba Sing Se there is no way she wouldn’t vibe with Zuko.
“Welcome to Pao’s Family tea shop, I’m Li, waddaya want?”
“Chaos.”
“Understandable. Sadly, that’s not on the menu. Would you settle for a cup of Jasmine tea?”
“Sure.”
Jet, bursting into the tea shop: THOSE TWO ARE FIRE BENDERS! Toph, interrupting Zuko who is about go attack this mouth wheat boy: And where’s your proof? Jet, suspiciously: I saw the old man with a hot cup of tea right after he complained that it was cold? Toph, about to cause some chaos: Then clearly, you need your eyes checked. Toph, gesturing to Iroh: This man is a Water Bender.
THIS MAN IS A WATERBENDER
wait i wanna add to this - so toph can tell when people lie, right? so she can probably feel zuko’s heart racing when jet accuses them of being firebenders. also, she would’ve met iroh by this point
so im imagining she’s like “okay. 2 firebenders. in a shop in the earth kingdom. but the old man is nice and wants better things for his nephew so honestly this checks out. yeah im gonna meddle”
That is 100% the thought process
Jet tries to argue that he heated his tea again.
“I know a waterbender and she can turn water into ice, who says they can’t make liquids hotter too?”
Jet has no argument.
He doesn’t have an argument cuz he knows the Water Bender Toph knows and has FELT her turn water to ice
Terror fills his body as he realizes that if Toph, who knows Katara, is friends with Li, then KATARA must be friends with Li TOO.
Toph can feel his fear, and she is living for it
The Magnus Archives: And then an amorphous mass of darkness appeared, somehow darker than the blackness of pure night. I was disorientated as it began writhating and pulsating, slowly squelchating across the floor. I could barely breathe as it moved closer and closer, my deepest fears realised as I screamed for someone, anyone at all to help. That was when I understood, I had never truly escaped it at all, all those years ago
Welcome to Night Vale: Now then citizens, don't forget to feed the amorphous mass of darkness writhing and squelching in the town square! You may find yourself slightly disoriented by the experience, but isn't that what life's all about? And a friendly reminder! All knowledge of its whereabouts is absolutely forbidden! If you accidentally find out where it is, please report to the city council for treatment. And now, the weather :D

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if i start talking to you about really stupid shit and im not trying to look intellegent anymore that means youve done it. obtained true trust levels. god tier friendship.
going thru phone pics and found this thing that was tacked up next to the toaster at my old job, if anyone needs some light toast eating reading material
Would anyone be kind enough to transcribe this or link to a text version?
Everything Is AWFUL and I’m Not Okay: Questions to Ask Before Giving Up on Yourself
Are you hydrated?
If not, have a glass of water. Dehydration can mimic or increase feelings associated with anxiety and a well hydrated brain functions optimally. Avoid excess caffeine.
Have you eaten in the past three hours?
Don’t be a victim of hanger! Get some food–something with protein, not just simple carbs or high-fat. Nuts, hummus, and veggies are great options to feed your studying brain. Keep healthy snacks within reach to avoid mindlessly chowing down on sweets.
Have you stretched your legs in the past day?
If not, do so right now. If you don’t have the energy or time for a run or a trip to the gym, just walk around the block or building. Even minimal exercise preps the mind for learning so that you can focus better and recall things easier, plus it’s good to get a change of scenery.
Have you said something nice to someone in the past day?
Do so, whether online or in person. Make it genuine! We bet your study partner would appreciate a compliment.
Have you moved your body to music in the past day?
If not, jog for the length of a song at your favorite tempo, or just dance around your bedroom for the length of an upbeat song (singing along is a bonus)
Have you cuddled a living being in the past two days?
If not, do so. Don’t be afraid to ask for hugs from friends of friends’ pets. Most of them will enjoy the cuddles too; you’re not imposing.
Have you started or changed any medications in the past couple of weeks, including skipped doses or a change in generic prescription brand?
That may be screwing with your head. Give things a few days, then talk to your doctor if it doesn’t settle down.
If daytime: are you dressed?
If no, put on clean clothes that aren’t PJs. Give yourself permission to wear something special, whether it’s a funny t-shirt or a pretty dress.
If nighttime: are you sleepy and fatigued but resisting going to sleep?
Put on PJs, make yourself cozy in bed with a teddy bear and the sound of falling rain, and close your eyes for fifteen minutes while focusing on breathing deeper with every breath- no electronic screens allowed! Adequate sleep is a necessity for stress management.
Do you feel ineffective?
Pause right now and get something small completed, whether it’s responding to an email, loading the dishwasher, or tidying up your room. Good job!
Do you feel unattractive?
Take a darn selfie. Your friends will remind you how great you look. You are always insta-worthy.
Do you feel paralyzed by indecision?
Give yourself ten minutes to sit back and figure out a game plan for the day. If a particular decision or problem is still being a roadblock, simply set it aside for now, and pick something else that seems doable. Right now, the important part is to break through that stasis, even if it means doing something trivial.
Have you over-exerted yourself lately–physically, emotionally, socially, or intellectually?
That can take a toll that lingers for days. Give yourself a break in that area, whether it’s physical rest, taking some time alone, or relaxing with some silly entertainment for a little. Time spent refreshing yourself is never time “wasted!”
Have you waited a week?
Sometimes or perception of life is skewed, and we can’t even tell that we’re not thinking clearly, and there’s no obvious external cause. It happens. Keep yourself going for a full week, whatever it takes, and see if you still feel the same way then.
You’ve made it this far; and you will make it through. You are stronger than you think.
Because someone might need this today
You have survived 100% of your worst days.
This too shall pass.
Holy fucking shit i have finally laid eyes on this legendary post
If anyone deserves a raise it’s the employee from four seasons total landscaping who answered the phone and went “yup, we can set up a podium and everything” and just acted like nothing was out of the ordinary.
Some days you write the sad, devastating, tragic conclusion to a character’s life-long arc.
Some days you write a whole scene where your OCs argue over which Scooby Doo character they are most like.
I don’t make the rules. 🤷♀️
I’d love to pull the “wow isn’t writing such an unpredictable thing sometimes the darnest things happen” card but I got up this morning knowing they were going to have this Scooby-Doo argument so, your honor, I would like to plead Guilty I guess

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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this made me happy :)
i hope every other jewish person who sees this today has a lovely day
[ID: Post banner, on the left is a blue Star of David. The banner is Blue on blue and reads “This user strongly supports the safety and well being of Jewish people” end ID]