Yoinks

there's a new social cue coming out. no we're not telling you about it

shoveling handfuls of baby carrots into my mouth after jerking off to create a pavlovian response that allows me to see fine details at 2 miles whenever I get an erection

Rb for the lil hops it does at the end before it finishes crossing 🥺💓

One legitimately weird thing about Tumblr is that we literally can’t code for shit, many people quit working at Tumblr due to a hostile work environment, and we can’t seem to program a simple blogging website to not flood your RAM.

Me thinking why a whale (big) would eat krill (small) and then I remembered rice (yum)

so few people appreciate the wisdom I have to offer.........

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

you can search anything on here and get completely unrelated x reader fanfics. you could search up rainbow trout and it would only take a few scrolls before you hit the Jung Kook BTS x f!reader exhibitionist kink fic

You listen to music regularly? Why? Have you even tried quitting? Could you quit? You get music stuck in your head? Wow. You're so ruined and music brained. I bet you make your partners listen to music with you when you have sex. Music addiction has really ruined a whole generation. You know it's not realistic to expect reverb in real life, right? You're probably so desensitized that you don't even feel anything anymore when you hear a bird singing that it wants some fuck.

*while sewing*: you are a fabric. you can stay a fabric. you do not yearn to return to being string.

Somewhere out there on a planet very far away is a civilization that has included our sun in a beloved constellation of some animal we couldn't dream up if we tried

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

In the year 1450 a priest rolls over and slams his hand into his candle, burning him and sending wax flying all over the place