there is no temptation greater on earth than that of museum gift shops

I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT

(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store

i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me

hello this is your google account. did you know that you are trying to log in. to. your google account. would you like five emails about how you logged in to your google account.

this baby Blue Heron killed the dinosaurs.

canoeing is a fantastic word . those vowels are absolutely out of control in there

bad news everyone: i have a take

mom, dad… i’m…. RANDOM!! LOL XD

The bible said Adam and Eve not Adam and TACO PANCAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!! xDD

Both of these accounts still exist. I hope they see us peering into the corpse of their former selves.