I could hear
all those things
you ran from
with every song
you released
living your dream
you didn’t need
to play your
albums in
reverse to hear
the taunting
of your demons
I grew up
I cradled your
songs close to
my chest
&
I knew I wasn’t
the only one
that felt numb
that watched the sun set
that wanted something
rather than nothing
to matter
I wish we could’ve found
a new palette of colors
that just weren’t a collection
of shit grey so maybe the world
wouldn’t need rose colored glasses
just so it can make another rotation
just so the fingers of the sun
could tighten it’s grip out of love
rather than anger
I hope you slipped calmly
beneath the waves when
you decided to let go
of the edge you so
desperately clung
I’m sorry that your armor broke
I’m sorry that you were the only
one who could repair it
I’m sorry that your symphony
played it’s final notes in
the middle of battle
you may have already felt
like a ghost in your final
hours but we never lost
sight of the spirit you let
spill from your eyes with
your honest lyrics
&
your highest notes
you felt the weight of
a thousand worlds for
so long that anyone
could understand
why you would
floorboard
it to insanity
you don’t need to apologize
I understand that these plans
we make can be written in blood
washed away with the mud
of uncut clouds
leaving us with more questions
of subjects we thought to be
experts on
I hope you didn’t scream at yourself
I hope you finally felt like you won
I hope you can walk to what you
always wanted when you wake up
on whatever road you travel next
I fucking care that your flickering
light went out amongst a sea
of dimmer specks,
even though
you might feel you didn’t shine
as brightly as you did
so many
used you to guide us
shining brighter
than Polaris did in
a world without the pollution
of smog traced neons
I’m sorry that you lost books
of stories when you lost track
of your scars
&
those consequential sharp
edges are wounds some of us
share as we trudge
this unmapped path
so we all continue forward
under this blanket of scars
&
we still listen to your words
hydrohelioizing your perfect
non-flickering
stormborns
jacobvanloon
gracieabrams
areudirty
dailybridgerton
snowghoul
amandla
tangentwithtanner
