I Hoard Posts

literally thank god sex isnt real and was just invented by big fiction to emphasize greater social and psychological themes i was getting scared id have to do all that

i used to have no hope for the future but now i'm thinking. i want rich people food. i want rare sirloin steak. i've never had sirloin steak in my life. i think i want to try it before i die.

i want to get some tattoos. i want to learn how to play drums. i want to go back to the ocean. i want to land a heelflip. i want to benchpress with big plates.

it crept up on me but i want i want i want i want to live. i want to live

Wait what the fuck

my apologies mr mama

as i slowly try to get over my arachnophobia i must confess i always thought it was silly when people told me "don't worry, they're more scared of you than you are of them!" like okay first of all i'm not even sure if thats true, most house spiders seem like they're kinda minding their own business while i am demonstrably freaking out. second of all if it IS true then it doesnt even change how scared i am. like great now we're both scared. i'm scared, the spiders scared, everythings fucked. lets just burn the house down hand in unlovable hand (and hand and hand and hand and hand and hand and hand and hand.)

we are mere weeks away from grandpa suing the pants off of Santa

crazy how the printer is the only piece of tech that acts up like that almost every day of its life. and we just accept it

i don't think i've ever met a printer that actually wanted to be a printer. i think most printers have dreams of being on the stage

Allow me to give you a gift this holiday season. If you’re like, under 30, next time you hear Charlie Brown come up in conversation around someone 40 or older, pipe up and say with a totally straight face, “Who’s Charlie Brown?” Then watch your older coworker or whoever get yugioh mind crushed before your very eyes instantly. Happy Holidays.

whats yugioh?

Listen, you

Surely if I destroy my sense of self and become a vessel for the desires of others I'll become worthy of love right. That's how it works right

Hey man, I saw your living weapon staring at its reflection. You might wanna get that looked at

Yeah, your emotionless tool of destruction is beginning to develop a sense of self. Probably nothing to worry ‘bout though