Mj

It's nice that loud noises don't stick to clothes like smells do. That would be really bad if they did.

you cant fucking hurt me bitch im protected by the migratory bird act

Please, I just want to know what your migratory flight path is, I promise I’ll release you after I give you this bracelet that will insanely up your game with the ladies

bitches love me for my bright and colourful leg band

cuddlejob from a girl with huge affections

getting increasingly confused trying to have sex with my point and click wife but she just keeps saying “you cant use that here”

i have the ancient sarcophagus and the cuckoo clock. what the fuck else do i need man

[Jonathan Frakes voice] We made it up. It's pure fiction. Not this time. It's not true. It's bullshit. I did not hit her. I did not. Oh hi, Mark.

Please don’t let fandom ruin something you love. Walk away and unfollow the fans and enjoy the thing by yourself, or find a limited circle of people who ignore the discourse, or get your irl friends into the thing and collectively ignore the Internet community, or blacklist from here to the moon if you need to and only ever scroll through your rarepair ship’s tag on AO3. But don’t let fandom distort a show or a movie or a book or a comic you used to love so badly that you can’t enjoy the original anymore. Please. It isn’t worth it.

I feel like not enough people realize that people under enormous strain act really really fucking Weird

we have to stop moralizing the human condition and start jerking each other off while making out

hi mutual who’s cooler than me hi hi please don’t shoot me with a gun

Like i can’t even say this given some of the trash i’ve read but sometimes i get the urge to rip everything apart and say CONSUME MEDIA THAT IS GOOD!!!! GOOD THINGS ARE GOOD!!!!!!!! HAVE TASTE FUCKER

nobody (including me) is ever allowed to read or enjoy "comedy" "action" "adventure" "shounen" we must all spend seven years exclusively reading tragic incestuous graphically abusive romance where one or both parties die that leaves the reader triggered crying shaking etc until we emerge enlightened from the cave

Assignment misunderstood. I have now built a city.

My inbox is open for health & fitness tips. how to get absolutely jacked, shredded, ripped, cut like a diamond

but not if it's like, hard

steroids

Steroids

Anyone else

I said not if it's hard

Steroids