what if we kissed (and we were both vampires)😳😳😳

Adopted a second evil advisor and I'm letting them sniff each other under the throne room doors before I introduce them

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

Interpreted this initially not as shelves, but as your cat having erected defensive fortifications

Never ever ever eat raw white onion and then smoke cigarette.

The gnomes beat the shit out of you again?

The gnomes beat the shit out of me again.

This was genuinely what it was like growing up in New Agey circles btw, my mum's friends would come round like "So I went out to the woods this weekend and fasted and meditated and I had a vision of the Sacred Stag and all my guardian angels and I asked them how to find love and they said that I need to focus on my own healing first and stop repeating cycles of the past" and then the very next week it'd be like "So I'm back with James again" girl..... the Sacred Stag could not have been more clear....