A Mix of Fandoms and Life

Please have a moment of silence for the people who were killed instead of freed when news of emancipation finally reached the furthest corners of the american south.

have another moment for the ledgers, catalogs, and records that were burned and the homes that were destroyed to hide the presence of very much alive and still enslaved people on dozens of plantations and homesteads across the south for decades after emancipation.

and have a third moment for those who were hunted and killed while fleeing the south to find safety across the border, overseas, in the north and to the west.

black people. light a candle, write a note to those who have passed telling them what you have achieved in spite of the racist and intolerant conditions of this world, feel the warmth of the flame under your hand, say a prayer of rememberance if you are religious, place the note under the candle, and then blow it out.

if you have children, sit them down and tell them anything you know about the life of oldest black person you've ever met. it doesn't have to be your own family. tell them what you know about what life was like for us in the days, years, decades after emancipation. if you don't know much, look it up and learn about it together.

This is Juneteenth.

If you have a google account, first go to gemini.google.com/extensions and turn everything off.

Then you need to go to myactivity.google.com/product/gemini and turn off all Gemini activity tracking. You do have to do them in that order to make sure it works.

Honestly, I'm not sure how long this will last, but this should keep Gemini off your projects for a bit.

Elizabeth Kirkman Fitzhugh, Militant Mary

Second Chances

Pairing: Adult! Zuko x Reader

Summary: after five years apart, you see zuko again at aang’s reunion—and realize neither of you actually moved on.

Word Count: ~3.5k (estimate)

Warnings: angst, unresolved feelings, past breakup, mutual pining, awkward tension, some soft physical intimacy

Author’s Note: this is very much a reunion/second chance type thing—less about why they broke up and more about what happens when they’re forced to face each other again. zuko’s a bit softer here than canon fire lord zuko, but i like to think he’d grow into it. i haven't really watched the movie (i am waiting for it to release) so some facts might be wrong here and there. constructive criticism is welcome, just be kind :)

The invitation had arrived three weeks ago, crisp cream parchment sealed with the Air Nation insignia. Aang was throwing a reunion—a proper one, with everyone. Katara had sent a follow-up note practically begging you to come, using words like "closure" and "healing" in a way that made your stomach twist uncomfortably.

You didn't need closure. You'd moved on. Mostly.

The lie died the moment you stepped into the Air Temple's great hall and saw him.

Zuko stood near the entrance to the courtyard, silhouetted against the golden afternoon light, and for a second, your entire nervous system forgot how to function. It wasn't just that he'd changed—it was that he'd changed, the way people do when years stretch between you and suddenly they're someone new, someone more, someone who makes your mouth go dry and your hands feel too hot.

His hair was longer. Shoulder-length and sleek, partially pulled back with a single piece of ribbon that probably cost more than your monthly rent, falling in waves that caught the light. You remembered when he used to wear it short and messy, and you used to mess it up more, just to see him smile. Now it looked—

Stop it.

The Fire Lord robes were magnificent, all deep crimsons and golds with those ridiculous sharp shoulder plates that made him look simultaneously more regal and more unapproachable. The scar on his left eye had weathered with time, more pronounced against his face, which was harder now, more defined. His jawline could cut glass. His shoulders were broader, impossibly so, the kind of broad that suggested years of training and responsibility.

He looked tired. That was the thing nobody would probably notice, but you did. You'd always been good at reading him.

His amber eyes swept across the room in that practiced way of Fire Lords—checking exits, assessing threats, maintaining control—and then they found you, and stopped.

The air didn't literally explode. Physics remained intact. But something in the world definitely shifted.

"Oh no," Katara whispered beside you, and you realized she'd caught the way your breath had hitched. "Oh no."

"What?" you hissed, tearing your gaze away and suddenly becoming very interested in a painting of clouds. Clouds were safe. Clouds didn't have amber eyes or long silky hair or biceps that looked like they could probably—

"You're staring."

"I'm not staring. I'm looking. There's a difference."

"Sure. And I'm the Avatar." Katara's voice was extremely smug. "Come on, let's get some tea before—"

Too late.

"Hey." His voice was different too. Deeper. Smoother, like it had been worn down and polished by years of diplomacy and command. "It's good to see you."

The bastard made it sound so casual, like you hadn't been the reason he'd written seventeen unsent letters (you knew because Aang had told you, after three whiskeys). Like you hadn't broken up because of a fundamental misunderstanding about ambition and responsibility and whether love could survive when two people wanted different futures. Like he wasn't now literally the most powerful nation's leader and you weren't just—

You were just you. Still just you.

"Lord Zuko," you said, and watched his jaw tighten at the formality. Good. You wanted him to feel at least some of the awkwardness currently staging a coup in your chest. "You look… different."

That almost-smile played at the corner of his mouth, and you hated that you remembered exactly how to read it. Amused. Resigned. Sad underneath.

"So do you," he said quietly. "Good different."

Katara, the absolute devil, excused herself to find Aang, leaving you alone with your ex while the universe laughed at your misfortune.

"I wasn't expecting—" Zuko started.

"You weren't expecting me to come?" You raised an eyebrow. "Aang was very persuasive."

"No, I—" He ran a hand through his hair, that long, beautiful, stupid hair that you very much did not want to touch, and you watched the movement with what you hoped was professional detachment. "I expected you to come. I just wasn't sure I could handle it."

The honesty knocked the wind out of you. Zuko had always been terrible at lying, and apparently, age hadn't changed that particular character flaw.

"Handle what?" you asked carefully.

He looked at you for a long moment, and you could see him doing the internal calculation, weighing words, considering consequences. Lord stuff. The kind of thing that probably consumed most of his time now.

"Seeing you," he said finally. "And wanting things I don't have any right to want anymore."

Your heart did something complicated and inadvisable.

"Zuko—"

"It's fine." He straightened his spine, and just like that, the Fire Lord settled around him like armor. But his eyes remained soft, still so frustratingly honest. "We're different people now. I get that. I'm just… I'm glad you're here."

The reunion dinner was torture.

Not because it was bad—it was actually lovely, Aang had outdone himself, and there was genuine joy around the table as the others fell back into easy rhythms of teasing and storytelling. But because Zuko was there, three people down from you (deliberate seating arrangement, courtesy of Katara's meddling), and every single time he laughed at one of Sokka's terrible jokes, you had to fight the urge to look at him.

You lost that fight often.

He'd catch you looking, and something would flicker across his face—hope, maybe, or just acknowledgment—and then he'd look back at his food, respectful of the distance you'd clearly wanted to maintain.

After dinner, you excused yourself to the courtyard. The sky was spectacular, all deep purples and bleeding oranges, and you needed air that didn't taste like regret and cinnamon (his scent; you hated that you still remembered).

You found a bench overlooking the valley, and you sat, and you tried very hard not to think about how things had ended. The argument. The harsh words. The fundamental incompatibility that had seemed so crucial five years ago.

"I thought I might find you here."

You didn't jump. Okay, that was a lie—you absolutely jumped—but you concealed it by pretending to stretch. "Just needed some air."

Zuko emerged from the shadows with the easy grace of someone trained since childhood in combat. He'd probably had to learn all over again after becoming Fire Lord—less sneaking, more visible authority. But the old instincts clearly remained. He sat on the opposite end of the bench, a careful distance maintained.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?" You kept your eyes on the horizon, the way the sun was dying like it was ashamed of its brightness.

"For everything. For—" He paused, and you could hear the careful deliberation in his voice. "For not fighting harder, when we ended. For letting you walk away when I should have—"

"You were right," you interrupted quietly. "That's the thing that makes this so difficult. You were right, Zuko. I couldn't handle having a Fire Lord for a boyfriend. I needed someone who could just… be with me, without the weight of a nation on his shoulders."

"And now?"

You finally looked at him, and regretted it immediately, because the sunset was hitting his face in that golden way that made him look like something out of a painting, all sharp lines and soft scars and those damnable amber eyes.

"Now?" you asked.

"Do you still… need someone?"

"That's not fair," you said, and your voice shook slightly. "That's not a fair question."

"I know." He ran a hand through his hair again, and this time you didn't bother pretending not to watch. Let him see. Let him know that whatever he'd done with his stupid beautiful hair, you were still affected by it. "I'm not trying to be fair. Fair is what put us in that position five years ago—you being fair about your limitations, me being fair about my responsibilities, both of us being very rational and mature about destroying something that mattered."

You stood abruptly. "This is not going to work."

"Why not?"

"Because you're the Fire Lord and I'm—"

"What?" He stood too, and somehow wasn't crowding you, even though he was close enough to touch. "Still brilliant? Still funny? Still the person who understood me better than anyone, even when we were fighting? Still the person I think about when I wake up at three in the morning because I had a nightmare and I need to remember what it felt like when someone loved me just for being Zuko, not for being the Avatar's friend or the Fire Nation's leader?"

"Stop." Your voice came out broken.

"I've had five years to think about this," he continued quietly. "Five years of rebuilding a nation and fixing other people's problems and doing my duty. Five years of being responsible and measured and so fucking lonely." He stepped closer, and you let him. "I'm asking if we get a second chance. Not as different people—as these people. The ones we became."

"You don't know what you want," you whispered. "You're confusing nostalgia with—"

"I know I visit the café where you used to work when I'm in the city, hoping I might run into you. I know I've tried dating other people and it felt like wearing someone else's clothes—technically fine but fundamentally wrong. I know that when Aang sent that invitation, the only reason I agreed was because I knew you'd come. And I know that watching you sit across from me at dinner, trying so hard to not look at me the same way I was trying not to look at you, was the most honest thing I've felt in years."

You pulled in a shaky breath. "What happens when you get called back to the capital? When your country needs you and I need attention? We'll be right back here."

"Maybe," he acknowledged. "Or maybe we figure it out this time, because we're not kids anymore, and we know what we're losing if we walk away. Maybe I ask you to come with me sometimes. Maybe we find a rhythm that actually works."

His hand came up slowly—giving you time to move, to refuse—and carefully, gently, tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

"Maybe," he said softly, "we stop punishing ourselves for our circumstances and just… try."

You closed your eyes. You thought about the alternative—walking away, going home, living with the persistent ache of the road not taken. You thought about five years of that.

"You can't touch me in public," you said finally, opening your eyes to find him waiting. "Too much symbolism, too many implications—"

"I can live with that."

"And I won't move to the capital. I have a life in the city."

"I can make that work."

"Zuko—"

"Just…" He stepped closer, close enough that you could feel the warmth radiating from him, could smell that cinnamon scent that probably came from the Fire Nation itself embedded in his robes. "Tell me you don't want this, and I'll walk away. I'll respect it. But don't tell me I'm wrong about what this is."

You looked at him—really looked at him, this version who'd grown into himself, who'd learned how to lead without losing the fundamental softness underneath, who clearly hadn't stopped wanting you even when he had every reason to move on.

"I'm terrified," you admitted.

"So am I."

"This probably won't work."

"Probably not," he agreed. His smile was sad and hopeful and devastatingly real. "But for the first time in five years, I'd like to find out."

You could have walked away. You could have maintained your dignity and your distance and told yourself you were being smart. You could have done a lot of things.

Instead, you reached out and took his hand.

His fingers curled around yours like they'd never learned to let go, and something that had broken in you five years ago began its slow work of healing.

"We should probably keep this quiet from the others," you said practically, even as you were unable to stop staring at how his eyes went soft, how that almost-smile became something fuller. "Katara will weaponize it."

"Absolutely fair," he agreed. "How long do you think before she finds out anyway?"

"Twenty minutes. Thirty if Toph does something"

Zuko laughed, and it was the exact same laugh you remembered, unguarded and real. "Come on, then. Let's go back in before they send someone to find us. I want to spend time with you without Aang making meaningful eye contact at me every five seconds."

You let him pull you toward the doors, his hand warm in yours, and tried to quiet the part of you that was still afraid.

That night, in the guest room that had somehow been arranged to be next to his, you lay awake and thought about second chances. About how sometimes the universe gave you one, but only if you were brave enough to take it. About how Zuko had apparently been brave enough to wait five years for the possibility.

You got up carefully and padded to the connecting door—there was one, you'd noticed with quiet surprise—and opened it just slightly.

He was awake, sitting by his window, still in his undershirt, his long hair pulled back. He turned at the sound of the door, and his eyes widened slightly.

"Hi," you said awkwardly.

"Hi," he replied, and there was something like wonder in his voice.

You climbed into his lap like you'd done a thousand times before, except it also felt brand new. He wrapped his arms around you carefully, like you might disappear, and you rested your head against his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

"This is going to be complicated," you murmured.

"Very complicated," he agreed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

"We'll probably fight."

"Definitely will fight."

"I'm going to have moments where I'm not sure we can make it work."

"So will I," he said quietly. "But I want to have those moments with you instead of without you. That's the only thing I'm sure of anymore."

You fell asleep like that, in his arms, in a room in an Air Temple, in the space between who you'd been and who you were going to become. Outside, the night sky was full of stars that had been burning for millions of years, indifferent to human heartbreak. Inside, something was burning too—but this time, it felt like healing instead of destruction.

Katara found out in the morning and absolutely used it as a weapon, but that was fine. That was expected. That was, in its own way, a sign that things were moving forward.

And in the weeks and months that followed, as you slowly built a new relationship with Zuko—one that worked around his responsibilities instead of despite them, one that was honest about the complications and chose to show up anyway—you decided that maybe second chances were worth it after all.

Especially when they came with a Fire Lord who was willing to learn how to be flexible, how to compromise, how to love someone without consuming them entirely.

His long hair and strong biceps were nice too, but that was just a bonus.

summary: the path to healing has never been, and will never be, linear

warnings: uhhh matt? idk i don't think there are any but always read with caution!

main masterlist || series masterlist || add yourself to my taglist!

yes, everyone is CAPABLE of growth and change. everyone has the RIGHT to growth and change. but no, not everyone will CHOOSE growth and change. some people are not interested in and cannot be made interested in self-improvement or self-reflection. some people will go their entire lives refusing to admit they might be wrong or examine their own behaviors. some people will never, ever accept responsibility for the effects they have on people and the world around them. humans are varied; some are just always gonna be like this.

it is VITAL to understand this if you’re the kind of person who tends to pour energy into helping others, especially if there are already people knowingly hurting you who consistently show absolutely no interest in changing that behavior. you can’t forcibly make them want to change who they are. you aren’t going to find a way to convince them to suddenly care that their behavior is hurting someone.

the motivation to change and grow comes from within. others may inspire us, but WE have to decide we want to be better and work towards that. until they decide that for themselves, nobody else can do it for them. and they might never. people are mortal. we are a finite series of choices. it is entirely possible to make mostly selfish ones.

For coming up with character names:

Behind the name (my absolute fav)

Allows you to choose the origin of where you want the name to be from, whether you want a more feminine vs masculine vs androgenous name (as voted by users), random surname generator, and clicking on the name gives you important info like if there are any famous people with the same name, where it’s from, how common it is, and how people tend to see it, etc.

You can also search their name database by letter or meaning or origin, so if you know you want a character who has a name/surname that starts with an A from Ireland, there’s a whole list for you to choose from.

Census sites

Especially useful if you’re looking for a name from a specific place and/or time period. Just search “(country) census (year)” and you’ll find a database of real people who lived in that place at that time. No one can ever call your names unrealistic again.

For coming up with place names:

Fantasy name generator

This site can basically come up with any name for any person, place, or thing you might ever need. There are also specific generators for different fandoms if you’re looking to make an OC in an established world.

For finding that one word on the tip of your tongue:

One Look Thesaurus

This is my go-to. Not only can you find synonyms like a regular thesaurus, but you can also describe words like “unhappy smile” or “quiet laugh” to find the more specific word you’re looking for.

For coming up with ideas:

Word cloud

When I need to inspire a new idea, I write down all the things I’m interested in (hauntings, academia, lesbians, etc.) and put them into a word cloud to shuffle them next to each other. Sometimes seeing a concept in a new context can spark new ideas!

WWF Discord

This is my discord channel (shameless plug) for when you need to brainstorm off other people but don’t have anyone irl to talk to. We’re also happy to read and give feedback on writing, answer writing questions, or just chat!

For visualizing places and characters:

Pinterest

Pinterest can at times be a bit too sterile for my tastes, but if you use the right words, you can find more realistic photos of places. For example, adding “aesthetic” after basically any word will bring up a more broad collection of photos to help you flesh out places.

This is also a great way to find photos of people and fashion to help visualize characters. I’m bad at describing clothes, so I usually collect photos of outfits to help me know what my characters are wearing. Searching up “character inspiration” will collect more interesting photos and drawings of people who might not exactly be of our world.

(However, to make Pinterest not show you AI results, you have to go into your settings and check the “reduce AI” box. Luckily, it does mostly work.)

Death to Stock

Like pinterest but completely AI free (hooray!) Only drawback is that you have to pay a monthly subscription (about $20 CAD).

Cosmos

Very similar to pinterest but slightly more "artsy". I'm not super familiar with this one but I believe all the photos are human and you can save them and create collections with a free account.

Dupe Photos

Royalty-free stock image site with very Pinterest-core photos!

Minecraft

If you haven’t built your entire fictional city in Minecraft instead of writing, why not? It’s fun.

The Sims

This one is dual purpose because you can not only create your characters in Create a Sim, but you can design their houses. If you really want to go for it, you can bulldoze all the lots in your town and build your world from scratch.

For checking grammar:

Grammar Girl

Easy to follow definitions and examples, and if you learn better by listening, every article comes with a podcast to follow along with instead.

Grammar Monster

This one is my favourite for checking grammar rules because there’s tons of examples in graphics that helps for any situation.

Reedsy

Among other things, reedsy can connect you to professional editors within your budget.

For writing advice:

One Stop for Writers

This one was recommended from my discord channel and has all sorts of tutorials and resources for the writing craft.

My Blog Directory

Another shameless plug, but if you need writing advice on something specific, you can search through my directory to see if it’s there. If it isn’t, you can always send me an ask about it!

For an alternative to Google Docs:

Ellipsus

Think google docs but without AI. Yay!