Damned if I do and Bored if I don't

well then can we at least sexualize the problem

some of you are my very favourite followers and you don't even know it #myspecialsecretfavouritefollowers

bro just take my fucking job application without a cover letter. we're literally gonna be in a mega economic collapse, you're not gonna fucking read it anyways. do you really need some fucking fanfic about me working at your business?? what the fuck are we even doing right now??

I fucking love my bitter pill! Not even hard to swallow!

wild horses could probably drag me away pretty easily in fact

Realistically, I'm pretty sure domesticated horses could also.

I’ll be honest, most horses would have a pretty good shot at moving me a moderate distance

One calm donkey would handle the job for most of us, I think.

Single calm donkey please come take me away 🙏

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

but I know... it's my own damn fault...

He was tortured and beaten by the ogre

He was beaten and punished by the ogre

He was punished and pummelled by the ogre

He was pummelled and tormented by the ogre

He was tormented and injured by the ogre

He was injured and hurt by the ogre

He was hurt and broken by the ogre

He was broken and damaged by the ogre

He was damaged and harmed by the ogre

He was loved and cuddled by the ogre as part of their BDSM aftercare

Didn't happen. He was harmed and attacked by the ogre