gowri

you have to forgive the printer because it's one of the most machine-ass machines we interact with on a day to day basis. that thing says kerchunk. hardly anything says kerchunk these days. you can't get mad at her when she kerchunks up a little.

Crazy that tech has gotten so bad that we're doing printer forgiveness now

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

I get that sex and drugs are fun but even im like. at least have a 3rd thing. at least one more hobby. you can have a 3rd hobby. this isnt a purity thing this is a some of u are fucking boring thing.

rock & roll

girl i just walked into that one like a coyote with a painted tunnel

i love how white people are supposed to be graciously forgiven for having a racist past because "they were kids and didn't know any better" but no one gives a flying fuck about the black kids that were subjected to brutal racist bullying during their childhoods. bullying that we're still subject to today because nothing has changed. white people were not being racist to some amorphous, unfeeling entity in some vacuous, isolated section of the internet, they were hurling slurs, racist "jokes"/imagery and antiblackness at REAL ACTUAL CHILDREN while gaslighting and mocking us for being upset, and no one gives a fuck!! we're just supposed to forgive these people who are never sorry and never will be and if not we're the problem and im so sick of it

in the age of repression and purity culture, getting more perverted is the only morally correct course of action

i don’t understand how neil gaiman intellectual properties still trend on here so regularly he literally trafficked women. like it’s not even a discourse thing or a “he’s problematic” thing he was “cancelled” for human trafficking. he repeatedly isolated women, usually his or his ex-wife’s fans, with no support system for the purpose of raping them while they were dependent on him for income and housing. that’s human trafficking

i understand that it's unreasonable to expect a band on world tour to play in every country in the world but i do think they should only be allowed to call it a world tour if they play in every continent. we need to make it embarrassing to say world tour and then not even step foot in africa

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know