I wanna have my big privileges taken away by a āreal adultā
Please please please, hear me out:
š¼Every time I try to talk, shush me. Grown ups get to talk, not babies. Gently put my paci back in my mouth and smirk at me.
š¼Always treat me the same way no matter whoās around. Babies donāt get any dignity, so why should I?? Your friends, my old ābigā friends, your family, it doesnāt matter. Let the grown ups do the thinking.
š¼Hold my hand everywhere we go so I donāt get lost, and hold it so tight it hurts when I try to let go. Embarrass me and scold me in public, make it clear to everyone that Iām not an adult worth respecting.
š¼Check my diaper no matter where we are. Out at a restaurant? Pants down around my ankles anyway, grown ups need to check thoroughly after all. We have friends over at our house? I shouldnāt be wearing pants at home anyway, no cover at all for my diaper. Mommy/daddies precious little one isnāt allowed to hide their pissy pampers, no matter whoās over. No dignity.
š¼Refuse to leave me alone in the house. 26 years old? No, Iām 26 months old you assure me, I canāt be trusted alone. Youāll hire a babysitter to watch me, and theyāre to be treated with the exact same respect I would treat any other grown up. Who cares if theyāre āyoungerā than me? Babies who arenāt potty trained donāt get to complain about whoās in charge.
š¼Set firm rules, and when I break them, punish me. Follow through, all the time, always. I want you to put so much fear in me that Iām conditioned not to break your rules. Make me sleep outside like a dog. Rip my pampers down and spank me so hard I cry. Slap me and laugh at how weak I am and how I canāt fight back.
š¼My phone?? Nope. Thatās for grown ups. I can have a āpretendā phone instead (itās just a bright piece of plastic with fake buttons) who was I gonna talk to anyway?? I canāt even spell, Iām just a stupid toddler.
š¼Schedule play dates for me with other Littleās. Humiliate me in front of them, and encourage them and their caregiver to laugh along with you about how pathetic I am. āOh sweetieee, did you piss your pants again?? God, I can smell you from here EWā orrr āsit down little ones itās time to eat! Yep, you can have a slice of pizza honey absolutely! Not my little one though, get into your high chair so I can give you your nummy nummy baby foods!ā
If you wanna act like a baby, youāll get treated like one.


















