How did you break away from your fear of dark/adult themes?
I suppose you could say I had a headstart on it because I've always had Dark Sinful Evil Temptations. For as long as I can remember I've had not just heavy morbid curiosity but also genuine interest and fascination with dark themes in stories, art, games, movies, music, kink, etc. I didn't really begin with a fear, I just ended up developing it but then went back on it even harder
There was always a pull to it and it was only because of a religious puritan environment that I developed the fear after the fact. I was very young and easily influenced and soon as I realized I'm gay and was curious about even exploring even basic human sexuality let alone fictional dark themes and kink, I was noticing the pressure to suppress even that basic stuff so it made me anxious and fear going to hell or being a bad person or whatever
Dropping religion was a big turning point. I wasn't even devout or anything and stopped believing super young, I just believed at all in the first place because it's what I was told in a religious school but I'm not even sure why I was even baptized because my parents weren't either. So then I was like "great now I don't have to try not to listen to that music I like, look at that art I like, play those violent games, enjoy sexuality etc"
Now I'm not saying people have to be like me if they are comfortably religious by their choice and will but I didn't gain anything, just taught to suppress feelings and desires that don't even hurt anyone just because of rules I felt pressured to follow and it just made me miserable. The eleven satanic rules of the Earth are my real philosophy, live and let live unless someone gets in your face and creates a problem lol
My morals are just don't hurt anyone (that doesn't/can't consent to it lol). And that's all you need I think. Anything else is just performance. You don't need to engage in exclusively pure or wholesome media/art/fictional content/fantasies to "prove" your real world morals. You can enjoy the exact opposite if it isn't real and fictional/in your head/roleplay, it's what you actually do for real that has actual real world impact that does that, nothing else
Environment is a big thing because then later on in life long after I dropped religion, I met a group of people very puritanical about their approach to media and fantasies. To the point they too were admittedly repressing themselves or being hypocritical with justifications for why they could do it, while viciously attacking those who were more open about it/didn't repress it/didn't join them in attacking others
So it was like a regression of what I learned after dropping religion. It didn't make me entirely scared or ashamed to engage at all but it made me go back to hiding it. At the time I was on the fence about what are now shamelessly some of my biggest kinks and this environment made it harder to explore without any shame or fear at first, despite actively secretly engaging with fictional contents depicting them out of "curiosity". I started to get miserable that I had to restrain myself so much. That I couldn't even create and post about what I wanted on my own accounts
I mention religion and later this fandom environment I was previously in to emphasize that most fear of dark/adult themes comes from being in a religious or puritan environment/having a background of this being taught to you, even if just subconsciously. That is what feeds one the ideas of what it means to be a bad/good person and the set of rules one must follow to be pure and prove that
This is my personal experience, having once been influenced by both. If it's not direct, then it's your family/friends/anyone else having a problem with you doing it that has been influenced by one or both of those themselves and are now projecting it onto you. Many times they are actually repressing and are ashamed of something they do themselves and treating you like that makes them feel better about it and like they've atoned for it somehow
Even if someone isn't interested in dropping their religion, it's really bad for you to be surrounded by people who police and encourage you to repress your interests and desires to do completely harmless things such as engaging with certain forms of entertainment and fantasy. Whether that's pressure from religion/other followers, fandom spaces, or anywhere. It's very toxic and hard to every fully drop that fear or shame if you're surrounded by that
Alongside dissociation from that toxicity, replacing it with a healthier environment where there is acceptance and/or even encouragement to engage with those things you're interested in but were scared helps a lot. I was exploring my fascination for those darker themes and kinks even while stuck in that toxic environment while telling myself "it's just curiosity, I'm not like them tho" lol. I was observing fandom spaces where everyone was cool and chill with each other
These people enjoying dark themes and sexual content with no shame were inspirational because not only were they so shamelessly engaging, they reminded me of what fandom and creating is really all about. Fun, community, and art. Not adhering to rules of purity, policing people, causing drama and attacking them to prove you're a good person like I was surrounded by, which is miserably mainstream in fandom now too
I have that eye opening experience to thank a lot for finally truly embracing my interests and sexuality and freedom of expression, as well as total acceptance of it in others too. Finding people that chill and accepting helps a lot. Another thing that helps a LOT is finding your wonderful fellow freaks who enjoy the same/similar dark/taboo things as you and mutually understand how it doesn't define your real life morals or status lol
I treasure them for being able to comfortably talk about it, enjoy it without judgement, and bounce thoughts and ideas off of them without shame. My freedom of expression and especially my creativity has massively increased since and it's made me a much happier, more comfortable and secure person. I'm always happy to be that for others too. If anyone ever wants to talk about literally anything of the sort without an ounce of judgement and encouraged repression, I'm your guy
I'm passionate about embracing the darker aspects of characters I enjoy and my interest in engaging with and creating for darker and adult themes because the fear of immorality and perversion over harmless things is all religious puritan bullshit that only holds you back and makes you miserable. Being called an evil pervert is just a badge of honor to me now because I know it means I'm happy and free, like awesome and beautiful stories/art/games/music/kink and have great friends
The simple way of putting, if you ditch your fear of being a "bad" person and a pervert and move away from any toxic people and environments that shame you for and encourage repression of harmless enjoyment of dark themes and sexuality, it will become much easier for you to enjoy things and create comfortably. The quality of my life and contentment in myself increased immensely after this and I wish everyone else the same peace and security in these things and I'm really happy if I can help in any amount with that š¤
