Miss __________(Insert Adj., Verb or Whatever)

FAX MEMO

Attn: All Employees

From: The Office of Team Moral

SUBJECT: Holiday Party

RE:

It's that time of year again. What time of year you ask well it comes around every year, the office holiday party planning season! As you know from past experience seeing as none of us here are new to the office, we are currently planning, scheduling and having an office holiday party.

Now to avoid any confusion this office has compiled a list of the most frequently asked questions with our response, please review CAREFULLY as we will not respond to questions already answered:

Why are we having a holiday party anyway?

Perfectly acceptable question office a**wipe. Everyone here at our company is not a brat like yourself and we appreciate and enjoy company sponsored shin-digs. That is not to say we do not have there differences on a professional level but we still respect and appreciate one another on a personal level. Quite frankly if you don't see the need to do something that will be beneficial to office moral and promote cooperation among you and your fellow co-workers, please schedule a meeting with this office and HR so we can make arrangements you will find more suitable.

Why can't we just go out down the street, why must I travel for this?

Another excellent question, the answer is you can. By all means walk yourself to the Quiznos, the sub shop, the pizza place or the same exact restaurant we went to for lunch or for previous holiday soirees, by yourself and pick up your own tab! This office is not asking you to drive one and a half hours across town. Jump on the Metro with the rest of us and join us for dinner in DC. If you do not like having to 'travel' for 5 star dining on someone else's tab DO NOT COME.

Well I'm still upset about how management handled my personal issue, why would I want to go?

It is our office's policy as well as management's position that no one is forced to attend. You are a grown ass adult, either attend this year's festivities or do not, it is your choice but stop asking our office to convince you either way.

What are we going to do?

As in year's past we are going to go to dinner, have conversation and be merry. The Office of Team Moral will post announcements about this year's team moral challenge once more concrete details are in place. This generally involves letting loose (aided or not by liquid courage) and being creative. Again this is a social event, last year we all enjoyed the vocal styling of an individual out of this office with their original company anthem. We also had a poem reading, BE CREATIVE, BE FUN, BE SILLY!!

What if I do not want to participate?

Can't say we will be surprised by your decision! Don't participate, like you don't do your work.

Can it be a lunch event? I will be moving the end of the month so I will either be packing or unpacking something.

Really? This office just announced today we are starting to look into locations not to mention schedules yet but you are already making excuses and demands simultaneously. It is our office's position that we do not give a hoot, you live in a one bedroom apartment it should not take you 2 whole months to move. Also, please speak with Management and HR, they need to discuss your work with you as this revelation has them concerned about your productivity and efficiency levels.

Thank you for your time in reading this memo and it is this office's hope we have answered any pertinent questions for you.

SEE YOU AT THE PARTY!!!

          It goes without saying that there will be or can be differences of opinion in any situation involving two people. Perhaps you are married, engaged, in a new dating relationship, BFFs for life, siblings or the stranger next to you is blatantly in violation of seat etiquette on the bus because his cheek is encroaching on your molded plastic seat area (you know what I'm talking about), conflicting ideas, personalities, and ways of conducting one's self can all result in disagreements. However, when the differences unfold into verbal confrontation, how you handle the adverse opinion makes all the difference. Here are some tools you might find helpful when confrontation occurs:

     Reality check. Do not approach me with the I am mightier than thou. You are human, I am human end of discussion. Unless Jesus is the individual you are in disagreement it's best you readjust your strategies. P.S. - If Jesus/God is who you are confronting, consult the Bible. There are some interesting reads on the outcome of confrontations with the Lord is times past, (i.e., Sodom & Gomorrah, Jonah & the Whale, Egypt & the Israelites, Israelites & 40 years in the desert).

     Try listening. This one option can segway into many different olive branches and it's so simple to do. For one, you might actually hear what the other person is trying to say and - wait for it - it might actually be helpful to you. What! I know, imagine that.

     Don't assume I have nothing to say. This in conjunction with actually hearing what the other party is saying, most people speak because they have something to say. I know it has been said sometimes a person will talk just to hear himself talk but that is not the rule of thumb. If I am trying to talk to you come to the table ears open to hear what I say before dismissing it. It may very well be that I am trying to make sure I fully understand what you are trying to say.

     Zip it. Yes we are having a discussion but both parties talking at the same time accomplishes nothing. If it helps you, pretend we are having a debate. Each side is allotted time slots to present their position on a topic, take questions from the oppositions and rebuttal. Don't be like the Republican presidential candidates of 2012 attempting to talk over each other. They look foolish and pathetic and so do you.

     Compliment. All you do is bash, bash, bash and what does that accomplish? Absolutely nothing. Instead of defaming the individual for their thoughts or ideas try complimenting what you do like. This does not mean patronize (honey, I really love the way your ass looks today but you thoughts on my taking out the trash are garbage). Compliment solely on something that is topic-related and go for the double-whammy, have it be directly related to something I said in our current disagreement. Demonstrate your new found practice of listening, it makes my heart all a flutter or perhaps that the seething rage dissipating because I can now tell you are taking me seriously.

     Avoid summarizing. The summarizing tactic seems like a viable option but it does not provide the results one is looking for in the heat of confrontation. Some people including myself have used the summarize method in an attempt to portraying that you have been listening to the other person and you know what they are saying. Oh contraire! The person being summarized can feel belittled and get offended more so when they view your summary completely off base from what they were saying.

     Hold your tongue. Spitting venom out of frustration in a disagreement only makes matters worse. That insensitive word or backhanded comment only puts the other person on the defensive. Two porcupines with quills drawn is not ending amicably for anyone involved.

Why do you do this every time? If I take offense to something you say and I can express it without being a b**ch, why can't you? You ask me to assist you with a situation and you know I would do it in a heartbeat regardless of what you ask if I was able but in this particular situation I cannot on the time schedule you want it to be done. Not because I do not want to but because I do not have the resources. I want to be able to help you and I never said I wouldn't but I do not appreciate you telling me I should do this or that so I can help you when that goes against everything I have been working on for us over the past 2 months. The way you just dismiss my goals is an issue because I don't set goals for just myself anymore I set them for us because soon enough we are supposed to be a team, that what the engagement means to me. That you want me on your team but for you to act like that when I try to remind you of what I'm doing is such a slap in the face. Like really, is this the team I am signing up for?

Yes I want to help and yes I have my own things going on with my resources and like I said I am willing to help you but you lashing out like that is beyond unappealing and causes me to take a step back and reflect. It's not even that serious a subject but you did just disrespect me over and over because of it. So then i try to explain to you my issue with how you approached it and you continue to just be disrespectful and nasty. So seriously do not contact me until you get yourself together and are talking more appropriately and respectfully to me. I'm doing my best here to not let this become a serious issue and step back and reflect moment but you making it really difficult because you still hitting my phone with nothing but derogatory comments.

To My Dearest,

     I think we need to talk. I know I've said this time and time again but I never get the words right when we are face to face or even on the phone. Why, because I am terrified of myself. I don't won't to badger you or upset you but when I try to spare your feelings I just hurt mine own and its probably for nothing. Correct me if I'm wrong and I pray or rather hope I am but in my opinion I am not asking you for the world. I am asking you to just be here with me through all of this mess and stress. I can't do it alone and for once I can admit that. I don't know how else to tell you, consider this me begging. I keep tip-toeing around what I want to say and letting you know how I feel.

     I feel abandoned. I feel unimportant and sometimes your words come across disingenuine. I feel like you don't want to be a part of this and that's what hurts the most. I can't or refuse to believe when you say you don't care because what does that mean for us? How can you not care now? I'm not asking you to care about my work drama or some silly story I heard from a friend I just want you to be a part of planning a piece of our future.

     I have come to you when you have directed and I've have been rejected time and again. Yes I get upset and what makes me more upset is the act; like you have no idea why I'm upset, like you want me to take you for a fool but I won't because you're not.

     I just want you to be honest with me, open and honest. I have to amend my earlier statement, I could do it alone but what is the point of that? If I do this without you, why do it at all, honestly? That's not what I signed on for, the one man army. I signed on for a partnership, a companion, a friend for life who is in the trenches by my side not watching from satellite feed 1,000 miles away.

     When you pursued things important to you, I stood by your side, I trekked that stretch of highway with you not because I wanted that decision for you but because you wanted it and I am in corner regardless. Can you be in our corner?

     At the end of the day, as is with every day, you are the opinion that matters and now more than ever is that relevant. I don't know how I get you to understand that because without you I don't see the point in it all. Your indifference to it all is killing me and I would rather go without than feel this going into the next chapter of our lives, because I won't survive this, not without my partner.

                                                            Yours Truly Always & Forever,

Just had an impromptu lunch with my fiance. Delicious, crab cake sandwich with steak fries, dill spear and coleslaw. He had a club sandwich and steak fries. It's so nice to just be able to put a pause in the work day to regroup and re-energize. Moreover, when I have such agreeable company that wont take lunch as a time to reiterate the frustrations of work. No matter what the subject matter he always makes me smile even when I completely disagree with the words coming out of his mouth. The idea/realization there is someone to put me at ease from the work drama everyday for the rest of my life is so exciting! hopefully, he feels the same way about me. As the lunch hour winds down I feel myself slipping back into work mode, everything spilling out of my mouth sounds very matter-of-factly (if that's a word) the personality is draining and humdrum is returning to my disposition. And just then he saves the day with a kiss. Albeit a kiss goodbye, but nonetheless the missing piece to stabilize my mood for the rest of the workday.

Best of all, I wore flats to work today. At 6'5" tall, I had to stand on my toes to reach for my kiss. I love that,