Mishapenings

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

the vivid sensory-memory of sucking water out of a washcloth as a child

you don’t realize how important lunch is until you’re wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then it’s 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.

Joy and whimsy detected! This post is joyful and whimsical!

im so hungry i could eat a meal

this girl must have pussy like a pizza bc Everytime she fucks me I have little seizures

“you should be at the club” Brother I should literally be sent to the seaside for my health

mom said it's my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

that wasn’t mom

Capulets vs Montagues

Two houses, utterly devoid of dignity