So last night I was minding my own business when I get a dm... "hey if you don't listen to files today I can make it worth your while..."
Normally, I wouldn't give someone control on whether or not I do a file for my mid afternoon nap but this person and I dabble in some back and forth switchy shenanigans and I was in a fun kind of mood. "Okay, why not!" I reply and in doing so seal my fate. I spent all afternoon trying not to think about hypnosis but it kept taunting me. It was made worse by their teasing messages, and doubly so when my wife decided to help by also joining in, placing my headphones next to the bath when I got into the tub. "You won't need these" she said. "I just wanted you to know they are right here I case you are tempted." Temptation was the very being I was trying to impress by my agreement to the game. Lying back I think about my prize. All the ways I could be fucked with and how all I want to do is tell on myself so they might come true tonight.
I went into my office, laid out all my hypnotic toys on the table next to my collar and I thought about how it might happen, my destruction. The reward for being such a good girl and doing as I was told. As I ran my fingers over the leather and steel I thought about how long it's been since I wore it and how truly submissive it makes me feel to be told to place it around my neck. It was always a nice feeling. I turn and remember my new metronome and hour glass are here too.
I recently purchased the hour glass online but haven’t used it yet. It's got 15 minutes worth of sand and is on a pretty little stand that allows it to be turned easily. I forgot I had told anyone about this until I got into the call that night for my reward. Normally I hate surprises but I think they must be training me to like them or something because with them, I love it when I don’t see it coming. What happened is a blur but the pieces I can pick through my mind tell me that things just kept happening almost on their own. My memory is so hazy at the best of times but when it's warped like that, wrapped around someone's fingers it's even harder to put the puzzle back together correctly. But I'm going to try for the sake of this post.
First I remember my shiny new crystal was dangling in front of my eyes by my own hand. I've nicknamed it the distraction, because it's so shiny anyone who sees it is helpless to look away. It lives up to it's name. The second my eyes locked on it I was as good as gone. Nothing could pull me away from it, well nothing except the pretty voice in my head. The one that really controls me tonight. When I finally came back to myself, I noticed the tally marker, my favourite clicker was in my other hand and it had been clicked a few times. I was surprised. I didn't remember picking it up and the clicker hasn't been used on me for years. I doubted the suggestion was even in there still, probably collecting dust in the back of my head with all the other old triggers, but the second they said click I knew it was over. I was back. Back in the place I know so well. My arm feeling complete for the first time in years now my favourite toy was back where it belonged and fucking up my mind as it was originally intended. You can imagine my glee and after this night I think I need to get a new one to use on others. This original one is mine.
The hourglasses purpose became clear. Each time it's set for me like that by my tempting friend it counts down to the deepest of possible trances. Sure, I can be dropped, I can be fractionated but it's all just a start, a build up for the final piece of sand to fall and crush my mind. Send me reeling down to the deepest trance I can possibly fathom. But getting there was never going to be easy. Afterall time after time my body and mind loved to helplessly betray my want for deep trance at their command. Flipping it over and starting the build in anticipation all over again. Stacking the sand, piling on top of my mind. Building the weight until it was too heavy. And the worst part, after all the times of just following orders, not having a choice in my fate, it was offered to me. I was asked a very loaded question, "would you beg to be denied once more or beg to let the sand finally fall?"
Do you know which path my mind chose to beg for? Denial.
I pleaded to not be able to drop that deeply. My mind and body were fighting against each other. I started struggling against my hand. Sitting on it to try and stop it from turning it again. As part of me knew what it needed. Desperately. Fighting it. But my needy brain screamed out to be denied the drop I should have begged for and was now begging against. Pleading for more. Begging so hard I could just implode. But not yet. Not properly. I would turn it a final time, hand almost shaking as I knew this was the start of the end.
When the final countdown began, I was a wreck. They controlled everything as I babbled thoughtlessly. I'd lost track of words, thinking was too hard, so I readily gave it up. Gasping in and out of deepening trance. Eyes locked on my prize as the sand trickled away. I couldn't do anything but what I was told. Collar around my neck they tugged the intelligence right out of me, but it wasn't like I was using it anyway. It was all just a mask, a facade of smarts that's what they told me so it must be the truth. I was just some helpless dummy who couldn't do anything but wait for my demise. The lack of control was thrilling. I gave them everything they wanted from me. They even took control of how I drop into trance, which was a total first for me. Forcing me to click myself into obvlion, and with each click I would drop twice as deep but only with my eyes wide open, staring at the trickling grains of sand, because they said so. My body was just an empty husk, a shell of a person. Mind leaking from my mouth. Barely able to see just a faint outline of the hourglass through my eyes being so focused on it that nothing was in focus at all. Babbling begs for no release. Pleading to keep the game going. Neediness overwhelming me to stay right here. To keep building the weight of the sand crushing my mind. To keep going. My mind screaming the only word it could muster on it's own. More. More. More. They laughed at my pathetic display of course. They told me even if I begged for it this was the last round. They were choosing the ending for me and this was it. It didn't matter how incoherently I begged or how messed up my mind was, how cute I looked in my stupor, or what I wanted anymore. It was their control on my mind and they decided for me. I clicked the tallys on my own but only to drive myself deeper into their clutches. Fractionating myself further to ready for the moment we'd been building towards. My mind losing all sense of control repeating helplessly any words they gave me. That's all that was left. More. Deeper. Good girl. Please. Parroting away without thought. Practically drooling on command. The number on the tally kept building. The tension was just building. The anticipation was electric until...
I saw it, the last grain of sand fall and with it my world dropped out from under me. My consciousness faded to black. My mind breaking into a million pieces like a sheet of glass, smashed. I was gone. The deepest trance I could possibly find myself in overtook my body and mind. Completely down, completely deep, completely numb. My mouth forms a smile as I sink, I'm so happy in this bliss. Totally broken. A shattered shell and it's perfect. They tell me I'm a good girl, a good slave for them and I feel a wave of praise hitting me. I don't have a praise kink but this is too nice a feeling not to get swept up in. The dopey grin not fading and only getting worse as I think about how much I love being good for them especially when they tell me I am. I rest here knowing I'll probably remember this in the morning.
Well, most it it anyway and I think I do.
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