It's not a Secret Subject, I do the hypnosis

I have been slowly working on archiving my work and it's time to announce the Secret Subject super big hypnosis (and asmr) audio spreadsheet. Every piece of content I have ever done in one place so you can find it all. Eventually everything I have made since 2017 will be added!

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19DStZiSq2NzpQgaOHYnRna5iXI6SWENGW_PoKrd39uE/edit?usp=sharing

New audios will be added until it is up to date, right now we have everything from 2017-mid 2020. I hope people find it useful as there is a LOT of audios I forgot I made and I'm sure someone will find something they like. Also a lot of the older work is now free because it's important to me to have a lot of content people can access.

Im a big fan of that and your blog looks awesome

Nurse: "how are you with needles?"

Me: "pretty used to them by now."

Nurse: *looks at my teeshirt*

Nurse: "Well you are a good girl."

Absolutely!! I actually have some experience with the topic because back in 2020/21 I stopped switching. It started with shutting down my subbing for people and listening to files and then, eventually I stopped playing entirely besides the odd session with my wife (my doll).

There were many reasons for this, some of them include pretty common life things like:

My health got really bad (I have thyroid issues)

Pandemi made me nervous so munches were out for me

I was being put through a situation online that made me hard to be around and a risk to people I was around

My wife and I got married and we are monogamous making play situations back then a little harder

Being a content creator in this space sometimes I find it hard to make genuine connections with people who aren't trying to play with me to gain clout or to tell everyone and make it weird

Now things changed nearly a year ago. I had a serious chat with my wife about how I was thinking about going back into the switch pool and finding play partners to explore with and while there are still good and bad days, I appreciate that we take it a day at a time and honestly it's lead to some seriously cool things. (I am DYINGGGG to talk about it more but I'm being very cool about it all, if you know you know and if you see tags no you didn't.)

So, my advice? How do you get back on the horse after you've been thrown off?

The biggest tip is go at your own pace. If it's been a while since you last led a scene with someone there might be some rust that needs to be shaken off. Don't be too harsh on yourself if you do lose stamina for it quicker than you used to. Start small and build up to things you want to do. I always start with a little teasing, a little poking, a few drops and then as you get to know the brains you're playing with you'll know what to do more and more. Those instincts for it will come back.

Take time to relearn skills you had. My favourite part of getting back into hypnosis is reading books I never got around to before, listening to a ton of files I would have never explored and looking at kinks I have that I never would have mentioned to people before. So, use this as a time to re-equip yourself and gain new confidence in what you do.

Find good friends to do it with. The best sessions are with a person I play with who we just have what I call "mad hypnokink chemistry" it just works. If you don't have a level of rapport with someone and trust I personally find the scenes aren't always as good. So trust your gut, the vibes and find people you enjoy spending that kind of time with.

Don't beat yourself up, and make sure you get looked after too. Seriously we do not discuss enough the topic dominant aftercare. Dom/mes need it too and make sure you set aside time after scenes to unwind, regroup and not allow yourself to burn out. Dominant burn out is REAL, I've had it. I used to feel like a trance dispenser with my job and my play all being a dominant lean, if you can do that amazing if you can't that's okay. Take small breaks.

Like, I think back to back then and even back to 2011 when I first started playing online and doing this as a kink, knowing that yeah I was known for being easy then but now today for the right voices/people/things fuck I'm like the world's biggest push over and it's kinda hot knowing that I can be nerfed with the snap of someone's fingers.

My dress is torn at the bottom. There was a party in town earlier this evening and I'd stopped by in my best new dress. I wanted to make a good impression and the invitation said to wear something formal, so I did. How foolish I was. It's freezing out here in the woods. Did they put something in my drink? I see the signs of my struggle from my captors all over my body. Marks, scrapes, finger prints in my skin. I feel betrayed. Heart broken. Terrified. I pull and tug at my hands to try and free them to no avail. Whoever tied me here was skillful, my bonds extra tight. They've definitely done this before. In the dark night I can't see a thing. Can't hear anything but my own nervous breathing. I try and look around, figure out where I am dangling, but my head is spinning with panic. How did I get here? How did I get into this predicament?

"You don't need to worry about a thing ever again my pretty prey." A voice replies. I gasp. Pulling hard on the ropes, I twist my body around to get a better view of whatever was behind the sound. Out of a nearby cluster of trees, under a blanket of dark night steps a figure, cloaked in a long velvet cape, their glowing red eyes piercing through the blackness to meet mine. They are simply beautiful. I'm trapped all over again in their gaze.

The mixture of fear and intrigue is intoxicating. My mind swims and sinks in the feelings bubbling up inside it, mingling with pure panic. I want to scream. I want to cry. But a deep, dark sense of pure calm washes over me. An unnatural feeling knowing I should be on edge at this beautiful stranger approaching me like this but I can't do anything except lazily stare into those eyes. They cut through to my very core. My eyes, my body and my mind start to feel heavy as my attention is stolen from me. Holding me in their vice like grip as they whisper words directly into my head. "Relax my thrall. You're safe now. I've come to rescue you." They say with a smirk. I sigh deeply. "Thank you so much." I whisper through the foggy haze in my head. Heart skipping a beat. Eyes fluttering as they approach. Close enough to cup my chin with a cold hand and lift my head up to meet their eyes. Now we're face to face their power over me seems overwhelmingly strong. Thoughts stripping, dragged right out of my mind until my head hollows out. I smile at them. It's so nice they are helping me, holding my head up like this. I was becoming so relaxed against the ropes that my body could barely stay upright. My eyes struggling to remain open. It's becoming so difficult to see the eyes I need to keep falling deeper into. Mind starting to crack under the weight of their voice penetrating through my entire being.

"Hold still." They say as they untie my hands. I giggle shyly at them, becoming so flustered as they pull at my ropes, breathing down my neck as they do. Even if I could move I wouldn't. Their command overwrites my own wants or will. My body, so weak now I can barely stand, crumbles into their arms as they lower me softly to the ground. Head in their lap I look up at them. Unable to even think of attempting to leave of my own free will, or trying to break the sleepy spell they seem to have me under. They brush a hand down my cheek. Sharp nails tracing the outline of my face. "Are you ready to be saved from those dreadful people who trapped you?" They ask. I nod eagerly before they have even finished their question. I'd say yes to anything they asked of me right now.

Smiling up at them, I feel so lucky they found me here, my hero. "I'll remember to tell your friends back in the village thank you for such a pretty prize tonight. You made a beautiful offering." They open their lips with a sharp inhale and I see the two white fangs glistening in the moonlight. Heart racing. Breath hitching. "Please save me." I whisper. The words feel foreign to me like they aren't formed of my own thoughts but a compulsion to obey. They chose this dialog for me. I'm just a puppet for their control. A player in their pantomime. They write the script into my head. "I'll do anything to be yours." Smiling back down at me they run a hand through my hair pulling it tight at the back of my neck. "I'll protect you now. Don't worry my precious prey." They sit me up, pull me close, bite down hard into my neck and then the world fades to nothing. Their fangs are sharp and their grip is firm around me. My body sinks into the pain and pure bliss. There's nothing to do. Nothing to say. I give in to them completely, falling into deep sleepy surrender to my new owner knowing when I wake, I'll be someone new. Whoever they want me to be.

(Obligatory: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dpKc8N3FJsQ&ra)

Well, I've said this to many people over the years. I'm both an awesome and awful friend. I'm terrible at adhd forgetting to reply BUT if we fall out of touch and someone dms me I'm back in there.

I planned to leave it in the comments of the stream, but just felt like sending this idea here as a possible idea for future inductions and whatnot

So I haven't done it like that before but my *ahem* "friend" has a suggestion in mine where each time I click mine I don't just feel one more drop, I feel every single number on my counter all at once. Right now it's over 400 and it fucks me up pretty quickly. I've seen my friends in the vc get less fucked up on multiple clicks meanwhile after like 3 or 4 I am DONE FOR.

Thank god for my amazing self control... 😅