She couldn't help but be aware of the butterflies in her stomach as Richard spoke to her warmly. After days of flirting and innuendo, she was finally going to get to go under for him. They were having their pre-talk, the kind Emily had gone through a dozen times before. Discussing boundaries, setting expectations, just...communicating before they started. She even noticed that he was slyly slipping in a few choice expressions and phrases to get her in the right mindset. Not that she minded. He had earned her trust, and she was ready for whatever he had in store. That wasn't what made her nervous. No.
Emily was worried was that she was too easy.
After all the spirals, the crystals, the pocket watches. After many sessions. After countless files (oh god, the files). Emily was very good at going into trance. All it took was the slightest buy-in on her part, the simple acknowledgement that yes, this was what she wanted, and she was gone. She knew all the tricks too. All the techniques, all the coded language, the framing, the subtle tools of persuasion. And because she recognized them, her subconscious was all too eager to respond to them. And all that experience made Emily worry. Because she wanted to drop for him. Wanted him to work for it. Not out of some misguided sense of superiority or stubbornness, but because she hoped she would taste all the sweeter for Richard if he could take pride in taking her mind away. If he could demonstrate his mastery over her through how well he could enthrall her.
And oh, did Emily want him to demonstrate his mastery of her.
She suspected he was going to move slower than she needed him to. Continue to build rapport, to develop that trust. To enjoy the process of gradually brainwashing her, opening her mind like the most innocent flower (she could pretend at least, right?), until she was ready for him to have his way with her however he desired.
And as much as that idea excited her, Emily knew all it would take was a focused stare, a determined look, and the snap of his fingers, and she would drop. How do you enjoy gradually corrupting someone's mind, if they never even put up a token resistance?
And that was the other problem. Because Emily did want him to corrupt her. She wanted him to take as long as he desired, trance after trance, night after night, week after week. Until she had been remade into whatever it was he wanted.
But Emily was experienced. She knew how to protect herself in trance. Knew how to keep her guard up even when her mind felt like it was switching off completely. She had all the right safeties in place. She'd learned many of those lessons the hard way. Despite her longing, her deep desire to be completely taken over, to be owned, to be manipulated, she had made sure she could still be in control when she needed to be. What if...what if she couldn't surrender for him? What if those walls deep inside her kept her from finding the depths he needed her to? What if his suggestions refused to stick because at one point she wanted to be safe more than she wanted to be owned. She certainly didn't feel that way now. What if...what if he got bored? Or discouraged? Emily felt her stomach knot at the thought. It felt so cliche, but deep down, she just wanted to be a good girl.
Emily had lost the track of their conversation. Richard had been speaking awhile. Asking questions, making suggestions. She had been content to merely nod along, and that had seemed to satisfy him. Whatever he wanted to do seemed wonderful. I want whatever he wants Emily thought as her head nodded again. Something flashed a warning in her mind. The thought had felt foreign somehow, and Emily realized it must have been something he had told her. Maybe tonight. Maybe previously. She knew he had put that thought in her head, but she couldn't remember how or when. And that excited her so much. Her subconscious called out to her that they were starting now, that it was time, and she made the responsible decision to pretend not to hear that warning. To be oblivious. To be easy...
He was telling her things now. Telling her what would happen. What she might feel. He was telling her stories about times it felt so good to really focus and tune out all distractions. He told her about how easy it could be to get lost in a good conversation, to let the words...to let his words sweep her away. Emily's subconscious noted every cue, every invitation to slip deeper and leapt at every last one. She reached out to him with her eyes and with her soul. Maybe he wouldn't break her down completely. Maybe he would restrain himself from eroding every part of her that could try to resist. From training her mind and body to serve him and only him. To know nothing but obedience and desire to please...
If he wanted to, he could. Because Emily wanted him to. Even as her conscious mind becomes so caught up in the words and the gestures and the sensations of dropping. Even as she is oblivious to how she is being opened. Deep down, she knew what was happening. What could happen. What she needed so deeply. And that was enough...all of her protections fell away. Her mind opened for him. Ready. Eager. So malleable, so trainable.
Emily felt the softness of her eyes, the loss of focus. She felt her jaw relax and the tension she had been holding melt away. Her posture softened. Her mouth fell open. She knew those feelings well. Her body told her she was drifting down into trance. That she was sinking deeper. Some part of her was still processing what Richard was saying. Of course it was. It was all she needed to be aware of. All she needed to hear. His words were all she needed to think. But they wouldn't stick in her conscious mind. It was too easy for them to drift down deeper into her. To take root. To guide and control...
How long had it been since they had started? Seconds? A few minutes at most? Emily had dropped so quickly. She had been so easy...But none of that mattered anymore. He wanted her deep so she went deep. He wanted her focus, so his words were all she knew. He wanted her obedience, so his desires became her purpose. It all felt so easy...
And that desire she felt, building and building inside of her. That trust. That need to serve. It had melted away all her fears. All her concerns. Her protections. Those things that kept her safe. They would vanish as if they were never there. They would dissolve exactly as she needed them to. And then he could do anything and everything she wanted him to. She would be what he wanted her to be. And he could take as long as he desired to train her. To form her. She wanted whatever he wanted...She had been so easy for him. She would be so easy for him...
And Emily loved being easy