Welcome To My Life

being very fat means that sometimes you will encounter a chair that is so spindly, so fragile, so delicate. sometimes you will encounter a chair that is made of matchsticks and dreams. and has a seat the size of an ipad. a chair that resembles a newly born deer taking its first shaky steps. being very fat means that sometimes a thin person will offer this chair to you as a seat and not even think about it. meanwhile you, the fat person, if you listen very closely and with an open heart, can actually hear the chair whimpering and coughing like a sick victorian child. a thin person will offer this chair to you, a very fat person, and you have to look at them. and then the chair. and then your hips. and back at them. and be like. let's be real. can we please be real for a second. can we please use our spatial awareness right now. like it's okay we are allowed to use our spatial awareness when it comes to my ass. it's all good.

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

Annual reblog of Freddie and his magnificent cats.

happy Pride Eve!

FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.

what was yesterday, cat?

I’m not missing it this year.

It's fun being queer and weird and unconventional until you remember you live in a society

500 years from now there’s gonna be some film historian who’s entire career is built off of searching for a copy of goncharov

and they're never gonna find it cuz they fucking took it off poob