Obs

The Blitz here manages to qualify as Britain's Darkest Hour, thus triggering the return of Arthur from the Realm Avalon.

He does not speak a lick of modern English. He speaks an unholy mishmash of Brittonic and Late Classical Latin.

(Honestly I can see the latter becoming a plot point if they manage to get their hands on a Roman Catholic priest to act as a translator. It wouldn't be a perfect arrangement, but probably better than anything else.)

Truthfully he probably gets mistaken for a madman.

Somehow manages to steal a Spitfire out from under the RAF's nose, proceeds to use it to bring down like half an enemy squadron on his own, then lands in a field in the middle of nowhere.

They tried to kill us, but they did not succeed. And we owe so much thanks to the other oppressed peoples, in particular the Choctaw Nation and the Masai, who sent money and grain to us.

Let me repeat that. The Choctaw Nation who had just gone through the Trail of Tears sent us money to try save Irish lives. It’s led to an understanding between Irish people and Native American tribes, most recently when we donated to the Navajo and Hopi fundraisers for COVID-19 relief, because while it may be a different tribe, Irish people will never forget those who helped us and we’ll help back.

The entire population of the island is less than seven million people. We’re still a million less on this island than pre famine. And it’s not that long ago. My grandmother’s grandparents lived through it. We’ve told the stories, it literally changed the DNA of the country. We have a national fear of renting, because so many people were evicted. People joke about Irish people always offering loads of food, but it’s because there’s that cultural memory of not being able to.

yeah sure go ahead

*connect my mp3 player*

*song starts and the vocals are clearly my voice*

[We cut to a woman waking up as her alarm rings. This is GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER. She gets up, gets dressed in a style reminiscent of that of a 1950s housewife, and begins her day. She puts an apron on, and begins frying eggs for breakfast.]

[A man enters the frame, fully dressed for office work. This is GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND. He goes down the stairs, kisses GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S cheek, and sits down to eat the eggs she has prepared.]

GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND: “I’ve got a busy day at the office today, honey. Lots of new interns, we’re rearranging internal leadership after the coup from the vampire cult, and at some point we might have to deal with Godzilla. What do you have planned for today?”

GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER: “Oh, nothing much… I guess I’ll just be your wife!”

GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND: (laughs) “Well, that’s just groovy. I’m glad I can count on you to do just that.”

[GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND kisses her once before he leaves for work. He then gets into his sports car, and drives off, leaving her behind waiting on the porch.]

VOICEOVER: “For every female character given an interesting narrative presence, there are dozens who are written with their only defining trait being that of a wife and/or mother.”

[We zoom out to show a whole street worth of houses with palette swapped GENERIC WIFE CHARACTERS standing on porches, waving goodbye to their husbands.]

VOICEOVER: “But it doesn’t have to be this way.”

[We are shown GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER at a meeting with a bunch of people in suits. She is smiling and shaking their hands.]

VOICEOVER: “You too can lend a guiding hand to an underprivileged female character in dire need of narrative intrigue. For more information on how you can sponsor an underdeveloped woman, please call us at 666-8008135.”