[ESTABLISHING SHOT: We see a generic house in the suburbs, complete with ridiculous lawn ornaments and a white picket fence.]
[We cut to a woman waking up as her alarm rings. This is GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER. She gets up, gets dressed in a style reminiscent of that of a 1950s housewife, and begins her day. She puts an apron on, and begins frying eggs for breakfast.]
[A man enters the frame, fully dressed for office work. This is GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND. He goes down the stairs, kisses GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S cheek, and sits down to eat the eggs she has prepared.]
GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND: “I’ve got a busy day at the office today, honey. Lots of new interns, we’re rearranging internal leadership after the coup from the vampire cult, and at some point we might have to deal with Godzilla. What do you have planned for today?”
GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER: “Oh, nothing much… I guess I’ll just be your wife!”
GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND: (laughs) “Well, that’s just groovy. I’m glad I can count on you to do just that.”
[GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER’S HUSBAND kisses her once before he leaves for work. He then gets into his sports car, and drives off, leaving her behind waiting on the porch.]
VOICEOVER: “For every female character given an interesting narrative presence, there are dozens who are written with their only defining trait being that of a wife and/or mother.”
[We zoom out to show a whole street worth of houses with palette swapped GENERIC WIFE CHARACTERS standing on porches, waving goodbye to their husbands.]
VOICEOVER: “But it doesn’t have to be this way.”
[We are shown GENERIC WIFE CHARACTER at a meeting with a bunch of people in suits. She is smiling and shaking their hands.]
VOICEOVER: “You too can lend a guiding hand to an underprivileged female character in dire need of narrative intrigue. For more information on how you can sponsor an underdeveloped woman, please call us at 666-8008135.”
VOICEOVER: (reading text on screen) “This message brought to you by the International Girl Liker Council. For Mother Mary’s sake please name a woman.”