Welcome to my world

i’m doing it for the plot (creating a beautiful life for myself no matter the cost)

went on someone’s blog who didn’t post in over a year and their last post was about getting married. like your marriage is more important than posting on tumblr? grow up

you can't come to my birthday party? aw dang, (remembers it's bad to guilt trip people) this doesn't matter to me at all (remembers to demonstrate that i am affected by you to affirm your positive presence in my life) but while you're away i will die (remembers not to guilt trip again) unpreventably. unrelated to you. don't worry about it. (remembers to express care through actions and not just words) you're in the will.

setup chapters of wuthering heights greatest foot in mouth simulator of all time. you decide to go meet your new neighbor so you trek all the way down to his house (you live on the moors) and he's the world's meanest guy who hates small talk and explains nothing so in order to make conversation you have to just guess, and you guess wrong every. single. time so he grows increasingly enraged with you but, again, refuses to volunteer information until you first innocently say something extremely incorrect that triggers all of his insecurities and pushes all of his buttons. there's a mean girl there too and they spend the whole visit fighting with each other and you got their relationship wrong about three times and you're still not sure if they actually explained it. and now the weather is too bad to walk home (on the moors) so you have to stay the night (you have to sort of guilt them into it and they're not even guilty, really, they just want you out of their hair) so they put you in the guest bedroom which is also the dead situationship bedroom. was it the only available bedroom? no somebody did it to antagonize your neighbor, possibly, so he comes in while you're sleeping (badly, you found the dead situationship diary and were up half the night reading and somehow you have even less context than before) and kicks you out before you even know what you did wrong, again, and you have to walk allllll the way home (on the moors) and then when you get back you have the most horrible raging cold for days. your housekeeper makes you soup and because she's bored she tells you your neighbor's entire life story . STILL not enough context for all that shit at his house

Personally I hate AI because it uses slave labor, is killing the planet and is making people stupid, but that's just me. The soulless art aspect is just one little piece of my grander disdain.

there is still time. there is still time. until your bones are in the fucking ground there is still time.

i get so excited when i can’t remember the name of someone i knew in high school it’s like i’m one step closer to being fully cleansed

all the self help books and internet gurus in the world can't make you realise that unfortunately the way to get what you want isn't some hack or neat trick, but is just doing the work. and it's hard, but it's really the only thing that is going to fulfill you. you need to get up when your alarm goes off and go outside, make sure you move your body and eat enough, give yourself the time and space to actually think, and not spend your whole day on a screen.

you’re going to love again, find a job again, create art again, do what you love again, feel powerful again. you’re going to be back on track. i don’t know when, but you are going to feel like yourself again, eventually. this isn’t the end. hang in there.

sorry that i saw the inherent beauty and emotional depth of a piece of horror. it will happen again and again