Mint Does Stuff

another belated bingqiu week piece! This was for day 5: Bridenapping!!

Shen Qingqiu: So how old were you when you transmigrated?

Li Yu: Uhh.. 18? I think I'm 19 now, but to be honest it was kinda hard to keep track of time as a fish

Shen Qingqiu: Oh my god. You're a baby.

Li Yu: I'm married and I have four kids! How old are you, then?

Shen Qingqiu: I was 23 when I transmigrated, I believe? I've been in-universe for several years. That hack author, however, transmigrated into a baby, and now his current self is 30-something years old. Which means... Exactly how old are you, Airplane?

Shang Qinghua: I cannot emphasise how much I do not want to disclose that

Li Yu: So you're old.

heavy erha spoilers, as usual!

Shen Yuan never expected to give birth, he didn't even expect ever have children period!

But here, sweaty and in pain, his vision still hazy on the edges and a small little hand grabbing his finger -Such a strong grip already!- Shen Yuan, Now Qingqiu, finds himself not wanting to be anywhere else.

His baby -A BOY!- squirms for a bit, not used to so much space and freedom of movement. "It's weird outside, huh" Shen Qingqiu whispers softly while Mu Qingfang sews back his abdomen with a soft smile -He is SO not thinking about that, thankyouverymuch!-.

His baby is such an ugly potato, all wringkly and red, trying to hit him with his uncoordinated arms and little legs. Shen Qingqiu is feeling so much love. He never felt something like this before, it's almost like this little potato took his heart while being extracted from his body.

Shen Qingqiu can bagely hear Mu-Shidi talking and asking if Zhangmen-shixiong can enter his room to visit, but he doesnt care. All that his tired mind can conjure is staring at his son like he is getting stared at.

SQQ-Yuan gets hit by a pregnancy plant, like literally hit, the people of the region use it in a ritual because everyone is infertile there (Wife plot #whatever used for creampie fetish and made infertile by SQH to not bother with children so early in the novel. Its mentionced everyone in her hometown is also infertile).

The ritual includes hitting people with is vigorously, they accidentally hit SQQ when he passed by (looking at the plant too closely). They get scared about it and dont tell SQQ he is now pregnant.

Months pass and SQQ is always sick and tired and LQG one day just picks him up and throws him to MQF's care despite his protests. SURPRICE BABY!

SQQ is THIS CLOSE to aborting it because he doesnt want the reputation hit after being so careful with it but he thought about little hands holding his finger and its over. He is mommy brained now.

Did someone say plot twist? Because PLOT TWIST.

The world cant just make a new soul you see, thats hard, so! The new fetus was made with this conveniently stored soul inside SQQ. Who else but SHEN JIU!!

It takes a long while after birth for SJ to get some memories back, but by then he is already 3 years old and loves his mommy very much. Why would he be angry about not having a family or a mommy? HIS MOMMY IS RIGHT HERE!!

So he gets to grow up spoiled rotten but also knowing how blessed he is by it, having also some memories about his last life.

By the time he is an adult and knows his mommy also stole his body before he is not mad about it. After all, mommy could've aborted him or abandoned him but he didnt. He loved him and protected him even against their...his? martial siblings the other peak lords.

shen qingqiu, not really familliar with drinking, gets really drunk. it started off small at first with random animal facts like "did you know that lions feign weakness so their cubs have more confidense when hunting?" or "did you know that the common thresher actually hunts using their tail?" stuff like that. then, when the alchohol really kicks in shen qingqiu turns into a giggling sleepy mess who laughs everytime someone talks to him and he keeps insisting that "every thing you say is soo weiirrdd..." to the infinite confusion of the peak lords.

then the grand finale happens when shen qingqiu gets up, takes off his outer robe and lays his head down on shang qinghua's lap and uses the robe as a blanket and just. goes to sleep. for some reason shang qinghua is completely fine with this. all the peak lords stare in bewilderment. how could the cool and uptight shen qingqiu do some thing so.. shameless!?

SQQ wakes up in mushroom body only he's tiny. SQH finds him and freaks the fuck out, poor cucumber pro is small as cucumber

(Neither read the fine print n book that mentioned actual size of bodies)

SQH can't stay away form long and can't leave bro anywhere so SQQ is just chilling in pocket... listening to LBH freaking out and 'why are you keeping the scum villains body Binghe? what is going on??'

Things get more confusing when LBH dream powers connect to SQQ and he knows his Shizun is alive he lives! He has to find him.

Meanwhile SQH is in the corner with said Shizun in his pocket trying not to look suspicious.

LBH shizun senses keep going off and he has no idea why he's looking around frantically.

Alternative SQH can't hide him and sect ends up finding out...

LBH is confused when LQG stops tuning up to fight him... and then he hears about Qing Jing peak lord? he can't get because of wards and he can't see anything?

JHis dream powers connect to Shziun though and he knows he's alive. But he can't get in and can't see with his spying.

What the fuck is going on?

Either LBH or LQG has SQQ in pocket and they start fighting only both freeze halfway through in realization during epic fighting where flying all other... SQQ fell out cue everyone watching emperor of demon realm and the war god frantically looking in bushes and trees absolutely frantic.