Venus

Jordan watched the clock on the wall as the minute hand completed another lap around the disk. Marie was late. Not that they cared, she wasn’t exactly known for her punctuality but something about this time felt different.

Jordan had been to the library plenty of times, practically living there, but this time she would be there. Merely hours ago they were unsure how to feel about Marie, a simmering emotion they could easily hide but now it felt like the pot was boiling and they couldn't put a lid on how they felt. Was it silly to feel this way after one kiss? Maybe. Maybe Marie didn't even like girls and was just experimenting. Maybe Jordan shouldn't have switched, maybe...

A pair of footsteps pulls Jordan from their thoughts, they scrap their attempt to look over some class notes. Their eyes slowly trek up Marie's body, trying ti get a glimpse of the hickies they'd left on her neck. She'd changed out of their t-shirt and into something more her style, presumably after a well needed shower. They wondered if they'd ever get that t-shirt back, not that they'd dare ask. It looked way better on her than it ever did on them. There was a small part of Jordan that found joy in the hopes that Marie would keep it. The thought made their heart flutter.

"Hey, partner," Marie chirps as she drags a chair from a surrounding desk and makes herself comfortable opposite Jordan. Jordan smiles up at Marie, tucking a piece of hair behind their ear. They shift in their chair, sitting up straighter and adjusting their posture.

Partner. Jordan liked the sound of that more than they liked to admit.

Marie empties the contents of her bag onto the table, rummaged through her organised chaos seemingly looking for something. A few pens roll off the table in the process which she doesn't pay no mind to. "I'll get those later."

The lack of students in the library allowed her to be more relaxed, not worrying too much about how much noise she was making. Another perk of freedom she was beginning to enjoy. There had been so many rules growing up and Marie needed a chance to just exist in a carefree way, a small rebellion to the constraints of how she grew up. The structure had helped her get to where she was today but she still wanted to find a balance. Jordan's presence gave Marie some peace of mind, like an anchor keeping her from being carried away. She knew they had her back, even if it was just keeping her from the librarian's wrath.

"You looking for something?" It was a useless question but Marie was so engrossed in her search that if Jordan hadn't asked, they doubted she'd give up what her treasure hunt was for.

Marie looks up triumphantly, a smile appearing on her face as she unfolds a crumpled newspaper article. Half the page was missing and it was heavily highlighted but she held it up like a winning lottery ticket.

"This," she slides it across the table into Jordan's view, "is the real start of my life. Not getting into this place, not going to Brink's class. I'm actually going to be a hero."

Marie's face was so full of light that Jordan didn't want to look away, wishing they could freeze this very moment in time. Whatever was on the newspaper article had made Marie so triumphant that she insisted on showing Jordan. On inspection, they realised it was about her. A black and white photo of the night Marie had saved a woman in the nightclub they'd all attended. The headline "Woman saved by courageous supe on night out" plastered at the top of the page.

"Wow Marie this is..." They didn't know what to say, what to feel. Jordan could see how pleased Marie was with her recognition, the media had been so jarring, especially for someone who'd only just gained access to the vast amount of social media pages, all with their own opinion. The most Jordan had accomplished in the real world was solving a few unsolved case crimes but this...

"I know, it's crazy right? I get that the story was everywhere, given the fact I was almost kicked out because of it but this makes it feel real. Like people actually see me?" The end was phrased as a question, as if Marie still didn't believe it. Sure, she'd gotten on the leadership board at some poiny and there had been a big fuss on campus, but knowing people out in the real world knew how she'd helped, meant a little more to her. She looks over at the other girl optimistically.

"I see you." They confessed. Jordan hands back the paper, not quite ready to make eye contact. Their hair falls from behind their ear, temporarily shielding them from Marie's stare. The quiet of the library suddenly feeling too loud. It was like they were on stage making an announcement. They suddenly felt too small, like a little girl on the playground with a silly little crush.

Jordan switches in an instant, taking up more space, even if it meant they couldn’t hide behind their hair. Jordan needed to be honest, they needed to be vulnerable. It always felt easier when they were like this.

"I mean, it took me a little while. I'd been blinded by the lights, but I see you now. I know you're going to do do great things because you truly care to. I like that about you. It's what makes you different from all of us posers."

Marie wasn't sure who the "us" in question meant. Was it all the highly ranked students on the leadership board? Or perhaps Jordan's elite friendship group? Or all the other teenage supes just trying to find their place in this school? She didn't think it mattered, not when the person she'd tried so hard to impress at one point was right there in front of her saying they saw her, like actually saw her.

Jordan observed her for a second, holding their breath. They were sinking in quicksand sand and they needed Marie to pull them out, as if what they had said had been too much too soon.

Marie didn't think so, not at all.

"You really think so?" Her head tilts slightly, trying to find their angle. This almost felt like it could be progress between them. The hard exterior of Jordan Li slipping and showing something softer underneath. She'd noticed their switch; bigger meant stronger in their head which meant nothing could hurt them. She couldn't hurt them but why would she ever want to do that?

"Honestly, I think we should all take a page out of your book." Jordan gave Marie an earnest look.

"Wait, is that a pun? Did you just make a pun?" She quizzed, staring over at Jordan with a bewildered look on her face. Whatever sentimental moment they were having put on hold by Marie's sheer confusion. Were they just joking about everything they'd said?

"What? No, it's an expression. You've heard of those before right?" They retort back, sassy as ever. Shield going back up.

Marie throws a pen at Jordan, one that hadn't rolled off the table earlier. It hits them in the centre of their muscled chest.

"Of course I have, I've read books. I just didn't expect you'd make a book pun in the middle of a library. Thought you were too cool for that." She joked, panicked when it didn't land.

"I am cool. I was trying to be nice." They role their eyes, getting up from the table. Distance was the only thing that could protect Jordan's ego now. "I shouldn't have said anything. Let's just get to work. We've wasted enough time already."

"Wait, Jordan. I'm sorry." Marie scrambled up, practically hopping over the table to where Jordan was. She didn't want space, not now when they were finally getting somewhere. She looks up at them scanning the damage she'd done, hoping the misunderstanding hadn't ruined their shot at vulnerability.

"I see you too okay? And I'm not just saying that because you did. Going out of your way to get me back into the school, getting me into my dream class, picking me up in the middle of the night when I was drunk out my mind.

"You've been way kinder to me than most people, even when you no longer needed to be. It feels good to have someone in my corner. I'm just not used to that. It was every supe for themself back at Red River and I'm still learning that some people really do care."

Marie sighs, she knew that she was rattling on but she didn't want Jordan to think she didn't appreciate what they'd done for her. They don't say anything, their brain still calculating, analysing her words and their sincerity. Marie takes it as a chance to continue.

"You sell yourself short, you know. Which is crazy because you're already so high up in the rankings."

Those are numbers couldn't encapsulte just how special Jordan was. Marie went on.

"People might see it as glitz and glamour but I know you're more than just a teacher's pet, despite how much you make it your whole personality."

Jordan scoffs at the last part but couldn't help but smile at Marie's sincere words. When she wasn't throwing shots at them, or pens, she was quite sweet. They'd not seen her like this, so much candor that wasn't a dig at their mistakes and shortcomings and actually a form of praise. Sure, she'd flirted drunk, but that held no real substance. Marie's words had just come from the heart, or at least that's what Jordan hoped.

No one had mentioned the kiss this morning. It already felt like a lifetime ago regardless of how many times Jordan had replayed the moment in their head. The warmth of Marie's body against theirs was still fresh in their thoughts. They'd both done a good job at pretending it hadn't happened, things falling into a comfortable rhythm between the two. As much as Jordan could stare at Marie's lips as she spoke, it'd never be the same as kissing them.

"Gosh, I could listen to you ramble all day." Jordan finally spoke up.

"I am going on, aren't I?" Marie's sheepish grin covering her face. "Why didn't you stop me?"

Jordan shrugs, taking a step forward. "I might have needed the ego boost." Which wasn't far from the truth. They'd been wondering where they stood with Marie and this felt like a good time to place their bets that this was going in a good direction.

"You're unbelievable." She squints her eyes up at Jordan, biting back her smile.

Marie goes to playfully slap Jordan's chest but they catch her hand, interlocking their fingers together. Seconds later the two were intertwined in a kiss, lips reunited. Marie backed Jordan into a corner, their back hitting the bookshelf behind them with a soft thud as they maintained their hold on her.

The two couldn't care less about the fact that they were in a library where anyone could walk past them having a moment. Though Jordan would argue it was a calculated risk for a Saturday morning after what seemed like a busy night for many students on campus. They'd meticulously picked a quieter spot, away from all the commonly borrowed books, anticipating something would happen between them and Marie. They'd practically manifested it into existence and now they had all they desired in the palm of their hands.

There was something about Marie that had Jordan melting on the spot. Their head going dizzy with desire and legs weak. All logic escaping through a back window of their brain. She was like a siren dragging them to depths they'd never known possible. Her lips breathing life into them. Jordan knew that free falling without a parachute was dangerous but Marie had them on cloud nine.

Marie focused on the familiar sound of Jordan's heartbeat, a newfound appreciation for her powers. She could feel it on a whole new level now. Never would she have thought that her powers would bring her closer to someone. It was a pattern so unique to the person, a subtle difference she found herself picking up on the longer she spent with someone. Marie honestly should have known Jordan liked her sooner, their heart rate always picking up around her.

The two had both been waiting at the greenlight to show their emotions, not sure if it was safe to put the pedal to the metal yet. Every insecurity was now long forgotten as Marie's hands traced the muscles of Jordan's arms admiring them like a finely crafted statue, skin smooth like marble.

"Jordan? Is that you?" A high pitch voice calls out from behind the bookshelf Marie had Jordan pinned against. They'd never been more grateful for their male form, which practically shielded Marie from the mystery girl's view. It turned out the encyclopedia section of the library wasn't as deserted as they had expected. Who even read encyclopedias when everything was online anyways?

Jordan begrudgingly detaches themself from Marie and manages to hums out a reply. Their eyes silently plead Marie to stay hidden, though they're unsure how well that'll go.

"It's been ages. I've been waiting for your text." The girl calls out expectantly. Jordan searches their memory for who could possibly be on the other side of the bookshelf. Marie remains silent while watching the exchange. It suddenly clicks, their past summer fling coming back to Jordan's memory. Now felt like the worst time for a catch up, Marie right in front of them, lips puffy from their impromptu make out.

"Yeah, I got really busy. TA duties and all." Jordan needed this conversation to be over as soon as possible.

"Of course, you've got to stay in the rankings somehow. We had fun, didn't we? We should resume that sometime. I mean what are you up to right now?"

Jordan did not want to answer that truthfully.

"Um, kinda in the middle of something." This girl was not getting their point. Marie was highly amused.

"I could join you? Make it a study date. She hints with way too much confidence for someone who Jordan had tried to ghost. "It's practically empty in here."

Like minds think alike, Marie thought. Poor thing.

"No." Jordan said all too quickly for it to sound casual. That definitely should have spiked the girl's suspicion if she wasn't so focused on her blatant rejection.

The disappointment in her voice was apparent. "Oh."

Jordan hadn't wanted to upset her, they reasoned that not texting her back and ignoring her string of "you up?" texts would get the message across without the need for making it a whole thing. Clearly, it hadn't sufficed.

"It's something for Brink, highly confidential. You understand, right?" There was a slight desperation in Jordan's voice whether from the from the embarrassment of running into an ex fling in front of Marie or the possibility of being caught with her in a somewhat intimate position. They couldn't decide what was worse.

Marie's earlier bemused expression shifts to one of apprehension. She had to admit this was getting painful to watch. A misjudged step back has her stumbling backwards, Jordan catching her just before any real damage was done. However, this situation was far from saving.

"Seriously, Jordan? Typical." The girl abruptly leaves, the shuffling of her steps gets quieter and the pair can finally breath. Marie lets out a breath she didn't know she was holding. Jordan drops her arm from when they'd caught her mid fall.

The two are quiet for a beat.

Marie fails to stifle a laugh at Jordans reddened face. Better to break the awkwardness the best way she knew how. "Wow Jordan, quite the heartbreaker I see."

"No, it's far from that." They huff, looking anywhere but Marie's face, the opposite of earlier when they couldn’t get enough of it. "Plus, it was last summer."

Marie doesn't follow, expecting Jordan to continue. "You're not helping your case."

They attempt to remain tight-lipped after their far from satisfactory answer but Marie isn't having it. She steps into their view, forcing them to confront their feelings and not resort back to old habits.

"Look, she liked me of half the time, like only one side of me was worth her time. It was okay for a while but, I can't do that, pretending to be something I'm not. I wouldn't be here," Jordan flails their arms gesturing around at the school, "if I was normal."

Marie could sense Jordan was getting worked up about this, the ordeal going way deeper than just a past fling they were trying to shake. "So, maybe I didn't call her back but she knows exactly why."

Marie bites her lip, she knew she had to tread lightly, this just wasn't her forte. "I don't think anyone is normal at our school, Jordan. Isn't our resident assistant invisble? And don't get me started on who he's dating."

Marie wished she could wipe every negative thought Jordan had about themself from their mind and just see what she saw in them. She reaches out and cradles their hands in hers, playing with their fingers as she carries on talking. "It's her loss anyway. I can't see why anyone wouldn't like all sides of you, even the annoying one."

Jordan cocks their head, shifting to their competitive side. Marie adjusts her gaze as Jordan shrinks a few feet. Their signature smirk is back. "Me, annoying?"

Marie nods her head, feeling smug that she'd managed to get Jordan in a good mood again willing to do whatever so long as they were back to smiling. "You know you bounce your leg in class? Makes the desk shake."

"Well, you tap your pen when you're thinking." Jordan bites back playfully, instantly enticed in Marie's little game.

"You mutter the answers anytime Brink asks the class a question. Even when it's wrong." Marie was on a roll, the friendly banter bringing back a spark to the conversion between the two girls. "Which isn't a lot but you still do it."

"You snore." Jordan blurts out. Marie's eyes widening at their comment. Jordan knew they'd gone too far, surprising the both of them.

Now it was Marie's turn to be caught off guard. Did she really? Or was Jordan just playing dirty? She couldn't possibly... someone would have told her. If not when she was sharing a room with half a dozen other girls, at least by Emma. Though her roommate did sleep with a white noise machine or some podcast Marie didn't care for. "No I don't."

"I didn't wanna wake you, it looked like you needed the rest." More like Jordan found themself watching her sleep, though there was no way to admit that without sounding like a creep. Marie had looked so peaceful, Jordan could sacrifice some sleep for her to recharge. It had been a long night for both of them.

"No wonder you got coffee this morning. It all makes sense now." Marie lets out a sigh, defeated. "Okay, maybe we're both annoying but I find you endearing despite it all."

Marie brushes a piece of Jordan's hair out of their face, needing a clear view. It was like drawing the curtains open to find a sunset behind it, or skyline views. Marie would never get tired of seeing their face, no matter what it looked like. She'd memorise them both if she had to, like an uncharted map or hung up museum art.

It had been a long enough silence that Jordan realised Marie didn't look at them any differently before or after their shift. The admiration in her eyes is constant and grounding in all their forms. Was this what acceptance looked like?

Jordan gives Marie a quick peck on the lips, both smiling into the kiss before it can escalate. They remain close. Staring into each others eyes feels like stargazing, endless awe and wonder.

"Now, as fun as this is, I don't think I'm one for an audience." Marie mumbles against Jordan's lips.

"You know what? Neither am I. We could go back to mine? There's plenty of time for this assignment later." The project was the lowest of Jordan's priorities right now, Marie finding herself promoted to the top of their list.

"Jordan Li, are you suggesting procrasting right now?" Marie teased, a glint of mischief in her eyes, though she was already letting Jordan lead the way. The two having enough with the library and the snooping noses.

"I think I'm suggesting a little more than that." Jordan laughed, Marie being the only thing that could pull them from their books so effectively. It didn't even take much.

"I am such a bad influence." She giggled, not that Jordan minded in the slightest.

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Tags

@minthandsoap @justsomehappybee @arthoewholoveseverything @empireofpainandfeels @sweeangie

The whole car ride home is spent in silence, the heaviness of the situation weighing down on them all. When they eventually pull up to the apartment building, Marie turns off the ignition and no one makes a move to leave yet. After a moment, Jordan starts to get out of the car, but Marie reaches over, placing a hand on their shoulder. Jordan halts their movement, looking back at Marie with a tired and questioning look. Marie looks back to Emma before addressing Jordan. “Hey Em, can I have a minute with Jordan please? We'll meet you inside,” she asks her friend softly, giving her a look that Emma notes, giving back an understanding nod.

“Take all the time you need.” Emma says, giving Marie a reassuring pat on her arm and getting out of the car, leaving the couple to themselves. 

Jordan keeps their eyes on Marie the whole time, waiting to see what she wants. As much as they loved her being back in town, they were admittedly drained (especially emotionally) from their interaction with Andre. Once Emma is inside the building Marie faces forward and starts the engine once again. This earns a confused look from Jordan. “What are you doing?” They ask.

She looks over at them for a second before pulling out and driving back onto the road. “We're going somewhere. Put on your seatbelt.” She adds, simply, not giving Jordan anything to go off in regards to her plans here.

They reluctantly put their seatbelt back on, sighing. “Can I at least know where you're taking me?” 

Marie glaces over, noticing their tense yet exhausted demeanor. “Relax Jordan, I'm not kidnapping you. It's just a short trip. Trust me.” 

Well they definitely trusted her, there was no question about that. And they would argue that this definitely is a kidnapping, but they really weren't feeling up to it, so they relented. “Fine. Whatever…” they sigh, facing forward to the city night streets, trying to see if they could guess where they were headed. 

They'd been driving for almost 20 minutes now, Jordan now giving up on trying to find out where Marie's taking them. The car eventually slowed to a stop, Marie killing the engine and taking a breath. Jordan looks out the window, surprised to find themselves at a park, obviously empty this late at night. “A park?” They ask, turning to look at Marie. 

“Yup.” She responds, taking the keys out the ignition and getting out of the car.

“Okay… why?” They yell after her, also getting out of the car to follow her. Marie doesn't answer them as she makes her way over to the playground, Jordan just behind her. She stops at the swing set, a soft smile finding its way onto her face as she goes to sit down on one of the swings. Jordan takes note of this, looking around, trying to pinpoint what was possibly special about this place. “Um, okay…” Jordan goes to sit down on the empty swing on Marie's left. “Why here?” They ask softly, sensing some emotional significance to this place. 

Marie sighs, before pointing out towards the street. “I used to live just down that road. Before… you know.” She finally looks over to Jordan, meeting their soft gaze. “My sister and I would always come here to hang out whenever we could. She loved these swings.” Marie looks down for a moment, getting a bit emotional reminiscing about her sister. She clears her throat, attempting to recompose herself. “Anyways, anytime I had a particularly rough day, I'd sneak out at night and come here. It's just so quiet and peaceful at night. No one is around to bother you this late.” She shrugs, “I don't know, I thought maybe I'd show it to you and maybe you could use it too-” Marie's ramble is cut short by Jordan, who's now standing in front of her. They move forward, wrapping her up in a big hug, Marie quickly reciprocating it.

Jordan squeezes her tight, burying their face into the crook of her neck, holding her as if they were afraid to let her go. “I missed you.” They mumble to her.

Marie nods, holding on to Jordan as much as she can. “I've missed you too.” she whispers back. Marie nestles into Jordan, feeling right at home in their arms, but a sniffle coming from them causes her to pull back a bit. She's met with a teary eyed Jordan. “Jordan, hey-”

Jordan immediately pulls back, clearing their throat as they wipe their eyes. “Sorry- Sorry, I just-” They switch into their male form, backing up and turning away from her as they try to recompose themselves. 

Marie sighs, shaking her head as she gets up from the swings, stepping closer to Jordan. “No, don't do that, not with me Jordan.” She reaches out to them, to turn them around, which they let her do. 

Jordan looks at her with a tired, tear stained look. They sniffle again, wiping more tears away. “Sorry, I know, I- I'm trying. I'm just…” they take a breath, looking up at the starry night sky for a moment, before looking back down at Marie. “There's just a lot, it's all just a lot. And you know how I get when there's a lot going on, I- I push it all down, I self-destruct or whatever, but-” they pause their rambling for a second as they step closer to Marie, placing her hands into theirs and gently holding them. They look into her eyes as they try to slow themselves down. “But right now… I'm not. Right now, I'm just standing in a park, with you, and- and nothing is moving but me and you. Just- just let me be here, in this moment, with you.” They bring her closer, running their hands up her arms to her elbows and touching their forehead to hers. They look deep into her eyes as their warm breath intermingles with hers in the cold air. “Just for tonight, let's just be here... Please.”

Marie just looks at them, a soft, understanding look on her face as she reaches up to hold Jordan's face in her hands, gently rubbing the tear stains off their cheeks with her thumbs. “Okay.” She whispers, giving a small nod.

Jordan sighs in relief, leaning into Marie's touch. “Thank you.” They whisper back, dropping their hands to her waist, just basking in her presence. 

They stay like that for a couple minutes, holding each other as they gently sway side to side. The warmth of their embrace keeps the cold night breeze at bay as Marie focuses on the sound of Jordan's heart, the steady beat bringing her a sense of comfort that she hasn't felt in a while. She instinctively pulls them closer, wrapping her arms around them, heads resting against each other. She can feel their breath on her face as she leans up, Jordan meeting her halfway till their noses touch. They stay there, lips hovering less than an inch apart from each other. They're hesitating. A few months ago they would have never hesitated to kiss one another, but at this moment, the last time they kissed was weeks ago. They've just been apart for too long. So what were they waiting for? Jordan thought before closing the distance between them, not wasting another second. Lips crash together as they melt into each other, the kiss immediately deepening as they grip the other as if it were the last time they ever would. One of Jordan's hands gently holds Marie's jaw, the other gripping her hip as Marie's hands tangle into Jordan's hair, keeping them close. And it's as if everything is right again. Any and all problems and troubles going on in their lives fade away. There's no work or college or Vought, and they aren't miles away from each other. It's perfect, they're perfect, this moment is perfect. But then, a small nagging thought reminds Marie… perfect doesn't last. 

The thought worms its way into Marie's head, ripping the curtains down and blinding her with reality, her responsibilities. As perfect as this moment is, as much as she loves Jordan, she knows this can't last forever. She's been wrestling with these thoughts for a while now. She wants it to last, she wishes she could stay here in their arms forever, but she has to go back to Maryland, back to school and work and… Annabeth. 

In between all the chaos of balancing school and work, she resumed her search for her sister. She has found something, a clue. She saw a photo from a Facebook account, she recognized a face that could belong to a slightly older version of her little sister. She wasn't tagged, but she tried her best to follow the rabbit hole, figuring out the others in the picture, who took the picture, where it was taken. It could be leading to nothing, another dead end, but Marie feels it, in her gut, that she's close to something. She can't give up on that. 

Jordan feels Marie tense up in their arms, causing them to pause, pulling back to make sure she's alright. Their eyes meet for a second before Marie quickly shifts her gaze away from them. She takes a step back, putting some distance between her and Jordan, but they follow her step, reaching out to hold her arms. Jordan desperately tries to get Marie to look at them, gently squeezing her arms to get her attention. Marie closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, trying to steady herself. She reminds herself that she can't get pulled back into the moment, or she might never be able to leave. They've had their moment, and they'll have another one the next time she can visit. They're busy people, they both have responsibilities that they can't ignore. They can't stay.

Jordan doesn't even bother speaking. They've had their fair share of arguments today. They knew she was gonna pull away again, like she always does. They know she has to drive back to Maryland in the morning, but they thought they had more time, that maybe they'd be able to convince her to stay just a little longer till she actually had to go back. They know her schedule, basically memorized it, and she doesn't have any classes tomorrow, and she can afford to miss one shift to spend time with them, cause she hardly ever does anymore. Of course Jordan is thinking the worst, that she's leaving them, finally fed up with them, moving on with her life. But no, that's not Marie. She wouldn't do that, would she?

Regardless, they've been here before. They know why she isn't looking at them, but still they stare at her, begging her to look back, just this once, and just stay with them. They take a breath, stepping closer and holding her jaw in their hand, trying to get her to look up at them. She lets Jordan lift her head up, as she steadies her breathing, preparing herself to look them in the eye. She opens her eyes, looking right at them. As much as it hurts her to look into their deep, pleading eyes, she knows they'll understand. If anyone understands prioritizing academics and future career, it's Jordan. It was one of the many things she admired about them. And Jordan would understand Marie focusing on finding Annabeth, (Though, she hasn't told them yet. She was trying her best to not get her hopes up. If this path actually leads somewhere, then she'll tell them). Besides, this will only hurt for a moment, but they will be back together again. They always come back together. That's what she holds on to as she steps back, gently pulling herself out of their hold. “I have to drive back to Maryland tomorrow. We should get going.” She speaks in a flat tone as walks past Jordan and back towards the car. 

All Jordan can do is watch as she walks away from them. They hate seeing her walk away. They used to not mind because they knew she'd always come back, but this time… they weren't so sure. 

— 

The ride home is spent in complete silence, neither of them wishing to acknowledge the multitude of unsaid words they really should be communicating with each other. Once they get back to the apartment, Marie b-lines to Emma's room, closing the door behind her before Jordan could do anything. They sigh, switching to their fem form as they shove their jacket off and throw it on the couch. They walk over, pausing for a moment as they contemplate walking into Emma's room, but they give up, walking into their own room and slamming the door shut behind them. 

…She was gone by morning.

--

[Finally did the thing! So sorry it took me so long to upload this. Things just kept getting in the way. But here it is! It's a pretty short one, but it's also filled with angst. Thank you so much for reading my stuff, I'm glad people are enjoying it. And a huge thanks, once again, to Venus @minthandsoap 💜 for helping me out big time with this fic. I'm considering this the end of this act of sorts. Kinda. Really just me saying the next update won't be for a while. Kinda waiting till life calms down a bit, so maybe around august. Until then, thanks for reading.]

Much love, 😎👍❤️

Bad Habits. Everyone has them. Jordan has their fair share of bad habits, though, some people might call them something else; dependencies, unhealthy coping mechanisms, whatever the fuck. But Jordan prefers to call them bad habits, cause everyone has them, it's only human.

So, there Jordan sits in the driver's seat of their Dark Blue 2018 Honda Civic, partaking in one of their many bad habits. They were meant to be getting gas, which they did, but instead of heading straight back home, they found themselves parked in the middle of an empty parking lot, windows rolled down, and a lit cigarette in hand. 

They sat there in female form, taking a drag as they stared off in the distance, contemplating on all the shit going on in their life right now. Even though she wasn't there, they could already hear Marie's voice telling them off about their “nasty habit” as she'd put it, and it's not like they disagree either. It really is an ugly habit that developed as an adolescent act of rebellion, which only became more frequent the more they realized how shitty life was to deal with sober. They had tried to quit a few times since then, only picking it back up when they had a particularly shitty day, but by college “quitting” was really just doing other drugs in place of it. As long as it took the edge off it worked for Jordan.

The longest they'd gone sober (besides a couple drinks and a blunt every now and again. It's not like they were an actual addict.) was when Marie and Emma convinced them to do so a month after Godolkin fell. They actually kept it up for a while too. Marie being there was a big help. With her, they honestly didn't really feel much of a need to get high or drunk. She was more than enough to make them feel good and content with their life. That did of course all change with recent events. 

Since Marie moved away, they did find themselves smoking weed a bit more than usual. But that was just weed, not like it was cigarettes or coke or whatever, and they were also back in school and weed always helped them unwind after a particularly stressful week. But now, Andre's in the Seven, and Vought's back on their radar, and as much as they didn't want to (especially with Marie back in town), they needed something to keep them from fucking exploding. So while they were at the gas station, they bought a pack along with Gatorade, gum, and some car air fresheners, and drove to an empty parking lot by a construction site that they used to frequent (with Andre, actually… fuck).

They just couldn't catch a fucking break, could they? Frustrated, they put out the cigarette and threw it out the window, the entire pack following after it. They chugged some Gatorade, popped a stick of gum, hung up one of those silly tree shaped car air fresheners, and made their way back home.

—

Later that day, Jordan found themselves back at that same parking lot. Except this time, Marie and Emma were in the car with them. It was dark out, the sun having set not too long ago. Jordan sat in the driver's seat in their female form, all their nervous energy manifesting as incessant finger tapping. Jordan's eyes flickered around from mirror to mirror, watching and waiting for a certain someone to show up. 

“Can you please stop with the fucking finger tapping? It's a steering wheel, not a fucking drum.” Emma exclaimed from the backseat, clearly annoyed. 

“Well, sorry if I'm a bit on edge, Emma! How about you leave me the fuck alone?” Jordan snapped back, the tense energy getting to them.

“Hey! How about we all just fucking breathe for a second, yeah?” Marie interrupted from the passenger side. She turned to look between the two of them. “We're all on edge, alright? But it's almost 10:30 so let's get our shit together before Andre shows up, okay?” 

“Fine.”

“Fine.” 

Jordan and Emma mutter in unison. Jordan stops their tapping and Emma leans back against the window and takes a breath.

Marie reaches over and gently places a hand on Jordan's knee, looking into their eyes once she has their attention. “Hey, it is going to be alright, you know.”

Jordan sighs and nods their head. “Yeah, I know. I'm just… I don't know.” They shake off the thought of how they really feel about this situation. Facing someone they considered a close friend, the third close friend that they would lose within the past year. It was just too much and they really didn't want to think about it. 

Marie nods understandingly. “It's okay. I get it. Just remember, you're not doing this alone. Emma and I are right here, and we're all in this together.”

Jordan looks forward, biting their lip a bit to hold back a smile. But they couldn't help the small breathy laugh that escaped.

Marie gives them a confused look, “What?” she asks, curiously.

“It's nothing, really. Just- just ignore me.” Jordan says, still trying to hold their laughs in.

“No, tell me! Come on, why are you laughing?” She nudges them lightly. “Was it my speech?” 

Jordan clears their throat in attempts to recompose themselves, looking back at Marie. “No, your speech was great, babe! Very comforting. It's just…” another chuckle escapes as Jordan explains themselves. “You said “We're all in this together” and all I could think about was fucking High School Musical.” A smile makes its way onto Jordan's face. “I was laughing at myself, okay? Not you.”

“Dude! I fucking LOVED High School Musical as a kid! That was my shit!” Emma exclaims from the back seat, leaning forward to be included in the conversation.

Marie can't help the smile that makes it onto her face, mirroring Jordan's. Hell, seeing Jordan's smile always made her want to smile just as big. She lets out a chuckle. “It was kinda silly, wasn't it.”

“Maybe a little bit.” Jordan answers, glad Marie was laughing along now. “It did help break the tension.” 

“Seriously guys, when are we doing a High School Musical marathon? We need to do one!” Emma pleaded, but they were all interrupted when a pair of headlights appeared in front of them.

As the lights turned off they finally recognized the car in front of them as Andres. Everyone went silent, the previously light atmosphere now replaced with the same tension from before. Jordan shifted to their male form before taking a deep breath.

They watch as Andre steps out of the black Audi R8 convertible. Once out, he raises his hands to show that he means no harm. Marie looks back to the others in the car. “We ready?”

“As ready as I can be.” Emma replied.

Jordan nods, eyes still looking at and around Andre to make sure he was really alone. “Here goes fucking nothing.” They say, opening the car door and stepping out, Marie and Emma following after.

“You alone?” Jordan asks as they scan the area. 

“As alone as I can be.” Andre responds with a shrug. 

Jordan just stares at Andre, making it clear that they weren't here to fuck around. “Yeah, I'm alone.” Andre says, dropping the sarcastic tone. 

Jordan glances over at Marie, who nods her head, confirming that Andre was telling the truth. The three friends stand side by side, facing Andre who's standing in front of his car. “You care to explain why you fucking betrayed us?” Jordan blurted out, disdain clear in their voice. 

Marie turns to look at them, placing a hand on their shoulder. “Hey, we said we'd leave the accusations for after he explains himself.” Marie mutters.

“No, it's fine Marie. I get it. I will explain myself and hopefully you guys can understand that I did this for you.” Andre voiced. Jordan scoffs, shaking their head, but opting to listen to Marie and remain silent. 

Marie takes her eyes off of Jordan and looks to Andre. “Just explain what happened, Andre.” Marie spoke, clearly tired of the conflict. She just wants to know why Andre did what they did. There was no taking it back at this point, and she was really hoping she wouldn't be losing a friend here.

Andre clears his throat and prepares to tell his side of the story. “A few months ago I was visiting my dad, and as I was leaving a woman came up to me and told me that Ashley Barrett wanted to talk to me. And of course I was fucking shocked, cause why the hell would the CEO of Vought want to talk to me? After months of visiting my dad there, no one bothered me- no one bothered us, and I didn't know what to do so I said no.” Andre takes a breath, running a hand over his hair. “But then, she mentioned how apparently, Ashley was the one paying to keep my dad alive this whole time.”

Andre looks away, wringing his hands together, nervously. He clears his throat again to distract from the emotion rising in his chest. “They said they could've, and probably should've pulled the plug by now. But Ashley kept him plugged in, and even paid a whole fucking team of scientists to find a cure for this thing.” Andre gestures to his head. 

“Fuck… that sucks.” Emma comments, earning a small chuckle from Andre. 

“Yeah, it fucking does.” Andres eyes are watery, his voice rough from the knot in his throat. 

“So is that why you did it? They're holding your dad over your head as leverage?” Marie asks. Just the idea of Vought doing something like that to Andre pisses her off. 

“Not exactly. When I went up to talk with Ashley she mentioned that my dad's most likely not gonna make it. ‘He's too far gone’ “ Andre said with air quotes. “But by keeping him alive, they could hopefully figure out a cure for me.” Andre explained.

“So it is all about you then? You agreed to join The Seven just so you could use your powers again? And you're not even sure if they'll actually find a way to cure your fucked up head!” Jordan accused, switching into their female form. 

“That's not the only reason! I'm doing this for us. You think I wanna be in The Seven?” Andre retorts.

“Oh, what a fucking sacrifice!” Jordan shouts back. They take a step forward, Andre mirroring the move, and both Emma and Marie go to pull Jordan back.

“How about we don't fight in the middle of a fucking parking lot?” Emma notes as she and Marie make sure there's distance between Jordan and Andre. 

“Yeah, how about we talk like adults instead of fighting like fucking children?” Marie adds. 

Jordan and Andre stare at each other for a moment before relenting. They both take a breath, Andre avoiding eye contact as Jordan continues to glare at them. “Finish the damn story, Andre.” Marie mutters tiredly.

Andre straightens himself out, and continues talking. “Long story short, I talked with Ashley, and she was really fucking weird and intense. She said if I joined The Seven, then Vought would keep leaving you guys alone, so I fucking agreed, okay? Cause yeah, Jordan, it's not that bad of a sacrifice. It's a good deal. I just have to look pretty for Vought and you guys get to live your fucking lives!” Andre exclaimed, leaving the group in a relative silence for a few seconds. 

Jordan continues to stare at Andre, listening to his every word. They didn't know what to think. They hated Andre for folding so easily, walking back into that world like they never left. They also understood wanting to keep Vought out of the others' lives. Marie and Emma especially had bright futures ahead of them that could all come tumbling down if Vought wanted it to. But for the Tenth time in their life, they felt abandoned, left behind to deal with the pain while the others got to move on. 

Jordan felt tears start to prick up but forced them back as they switched back to their male form. “We didn't ask you to do that! You just agreed on the spot and didn't even think about how we would feel about it! I mean, what did you expect from us? After you told your sad little story about how your dad's dying, and now you have to do what you've been trained to do your whole fucking life; being Vought's little bitch!” Everyone looked at Jordan, shocked at their outburst, but Jordan wasn't done. 

They stepped closer to Andre, Marie and Emma throwing themselves in between Jordan and Andre. Marie tried pushing Jordan back, but she might as well be pushing against a brick wall. “What did you expect, huh? You want us to feel bad for you? Say thank you? Thank you, Andre, thanks so much for signing a fucking million dollar contract with a corrupt business, to run around and play fucking hero!” 

“Jordan, stop! Blowing up isn't gonna fix anything!” Marie pleaded, still standing in their way as they continued to walk towards Andre. 

Andre just shook their head, “Nah, you know what? Fuck this. This was clearly a mistake.” Andre turned around and began to walk back to their car. 

Jordan scoffed, “Of course you give up already. Just walking away like a fucking coward! Is this not worth fighting for, Andre? Too fucking difficult for you?” Jordan shouts as Andre makes it to their car door, unlocking the vehicle. 

Andre just bites their tongue. They know there's no winning with Jordan when they're this upset. Maybe they can try again later. 

“I thought we were friends!” Jordan yelled out, eyes watering as their emotions got to them. They wouldn't admit it, but they didn't want Andre to walk away. Basically pleading for him to stay even though they were berating him. 

Andre stops just as they were about to climb into the car. He looks up at Jordan, tears present on his face. He shuts the car door, pocketing the keys and walking over to Jordan, standing a couple feet in front of them. “We are friends, Jordan.” Andre states. 

“Friends don't do this, Andre! They don't abandon you!-” Jordan shouts but is interrupted by Andre. 

“I'm not abandoning you!” Andre declared. 

“Yes you fucking are! You're leaving me behind just like everyone else did!” Tears begin to fall down Jordan's face. Emma and Marie look at each other and silently agree to step back and let the two friends work through their stuff. 

Jordan runs their sleeve across their face, trying to erase the tears, but they keep falling. They clear their throat, attempting to loosen the knot that formed. “You know, when I first met you in my freshman year, I thought you were just another stuck up rich kid that didn't actually give a shit about school, and was just there to fuck around and party. And I was right.” Jordan takes a breath, looking Andre in the eyes. “But you were also the first person to not give a shit about the whole bigender thing. Even before Brink. You were the first person to not give a shit that I was a guy sometimes and a girl at other times.” 

Andre slowly nods as they recall first meeting Jordan, which felt like fucking ages ago at this point. More tears began to stream down his face. “You introduced me to Luke and Cate, taught me how to properly party, and humored me when I'd ramble off on whatever bullshit was happening. You were my first real friend Andre… So why?” Their voice broke as they spoke to Andre. 

Jordan's face was wet with tears, and raw with emotion as they stared back at Andre. “Why didn't you come to me? Why did you just walk away, right into their arms like it was easy? Why didn't you fight harder?” Jordan pleaded, their voice breathy and broken, just above a whisper. 

Andre shakes their head, wiping some tears away and shrugging his shoulders. “I don't know. It seemed like the right thing to do. My dad's dying and I don’t know what I'm gonna do once he does.” Andre couldn't help but laugh at his situation. The laugh was so misplaced, you would have thought he was losing it. “You're right, Jordan, I have nothing going on for me! My whole life, everything I was taught, was to prepare me for this. All I'm good for is running around, playing superhero, and smiling at the camera, so that's what I'm doing! Me being Voughts bitch was inevitable, I thought the least I could do was spare you guys the same fate.” Andre was so tired from their rant, the tears and shouting taking a toll on them.

Jordan looked at Andre, trying to process what they said. They didn't know if there was anything they could say at this point. They didn't feel satisfied with their answers, but they realized if they threw out more words, they'd just be going in circles, the point getting lost in the chaos. So they surrender… 

“Okay.” Jordan nods, accepting his answer. They turn around before Andre can say anything, and walk away. They've fought hard enough.

Jordan goes to open the driver's side door, but Marie stops their movements with a gentle hand on the shoulder. “Is it okay if I drive back?” She speaks softly.

As if they lost all the fight in them, they nod and walk over to the passenger side. They shift into their female form as they climb in, buckling their seat belt and leaning their head against the window. Emma climbs into the back and Marie gets into the driver's seat. She glanced over at Jordan, then back towards Emma, who just shrugs tiredly at her. Marie looks forward, starts the car, and drives off.

--

Much love, 😎👍❤️

That was a fun chapter to write, honestly. Big thanks to @paperdoll201 💜 as always for reading it over and giving very helpful feedback. Tears were shed, lol. But yeah, big thanks to everyone who has read this far. I have one more fully written chapter left that I will post next Saturday. After that, it's guesswork for when the next chapter comes. But yeah, I'll keep you all updated ofc. Thanks for reading!!