langdons boy mom

rated: E | andrew/neil | canon-compliant | 

read on a03 

To the untrained eye, Neil Josten would seem entirely normal, albeit a little more tightly wound than usual.

Andrew’s eye is not untrained.

As he sends back another practice shot, his arms straining with exhaustion, he can feel the waves of tension rolling off of Neil. The court is empty, save for the two of them. Kevin exhausted himself hours ago and it’s nearing dawn but they’ve been out here since midnight and Neil is firing shots on goal like his arms are made of iron. From his place in the goal, Andrew can see Neil’s tells. It’s in the shake of his bicep right before he fires another shot. The tension that he holds in his shoulder blades, seemingly the only thing keeping him upright.

Andrew steps aside, the goal lighting up red behind him.

“We’re done.” He says, level and cool.

To the untrained eye, Andrew would seem calm and collected.

Neil’s eye is not untrained.

okay so neil’s POV is HARD and this is the garbage i came up with? pls be kind

read on a03 | 2132 words | rating: t????

                                                         ______

The thought doesn’t even cross Neil’s mind until Nicky brings it up. They’re all huddled in the girls’ room for Dan-mandated movie night - something about “team bonding” - and Andrew is in an evening session with Bee which leaves Neil at the center of attention. Aaron won choosing rights this week by betting that the freshman wouldn’t even make it through a week of practice before making a “butcher” comment at Neil, which means they’re watching another stupid superhero movie. Neil is bouncing where he’s sitting on the floor in front of the couch, glancing at the clock every five seconds. Something is exploding on screen when Nicky leans over and nudges Neil.

“What, you got a hot date with Andrew or something?”

It shouldn’t strike Neil as odd. The question. The assumption. It’s not like he doesn’t know what dating looks like for other people. He watches Matt and Dan get dressed up on off-weekends and go to dinner or a movie. Katelyn and Aaron have a standing date on Wednesday evenings after practice. But for Neil and Andrew, everything is different. It’s been months since Baltimore but Andrew still barely lets Neil out of his sight. The longest they spend apart is Andrew’s sessions with Bee or when they’re in class and even those hours are an exercise in self-control. It’s like Andrew can’t bear the thought of Neil disappearing on him again. Not after falling to his knees on shitty carpet in a shitty motel in the middle of Baltimore with Neil’s battered and bruised face tucked between his palms. Not after feeling the evidence of Neil’s stupidity and Lola’s insanity under his own fingertips. Not after waking up to Neil trembling and whimpering no, no, no in his sleep.

No, Andrew and Neil don’t do dates. They’ve traded them for promises, and stay, and yes. They trade kisses over the hood of the Maserati and unfinished cigarettes and keys to a house and a heart. Neil isn’t sure what going out to dinner or going to a movie could give him that he isn’t already getting. Because the thing is, Neil is happy for the first time in his life. He’s allowed to want things now.

“What?” He asks Nicky, confusion written all over his face. He spares another glance at the clock, counting down the minutes until Andrew is settled in beside him again, close enough to touch. Close enough to remind Neil that he’s alive and he’s allowed to have this.

“You. Andrew. Dinner and a movie?” Nicky prods, jamming his finger into Neil’s ribcage.

“We’re not..we’re not like that.” Neil stumbles over his words, trying to find the right ones on his tongue.

Before Nicky can poke and prod any further, the door swings open and Andrew makes his way in. The sight of him alone is enough for Neils heart to stutter. Andrews participation in team movie night is never a given. It’s as tentative as his consent is. A yes one day does not guarantee a yes the next day. But his sessions with Bee lately have been leaving him more unpredictable than usual. There’s days where Andrew comes back and won’t want Neil any closer than five feet away from him. There are days where he curls up into Neils space and finds contact with every inch of his body. Toes tucked under Neils thighs while they lounge on the couch. Pinky fingers wrapped around one another while Neil works on his homework and Andrew reads. Fingers wrapped in Neils overgrown curls, mouth pressed to the curve of his throat.

Today, it seems to be the latter. He shuts the door behind him and settles in on the floor next to Neil, burying his fingers in his hair almost immediately. Neil leans into the touch instinctively, without even meaning to. He tucks himself into Andrew’s side and presses a kiss to his temple, earning him a bite to his earlobe in retaliation.

“Shut up and watch the movie.”

                                                          ______

The thought doesn’t cross Neil’s mind again until a week later when Andrew is pressed against him, inch for inch. Andrew’s palms are ghosting over his sides, pressing into the curves of his ribcage and hipbones. He’s mouthing at Neils neck and driving his hips forward and Neil feels like a string pulled taut. Every point of connection between him and Andrew feels like a fire sparking.

“Where’s Kevin?” Neil breathes, squirming under Andrew’s hold on his hips.

“Fuck if I know.” Andrew sucks a fresh hickey into the base of Neil’s throat, next to where another is fading. And fuck, Neil might have a fetish for Andrew’s neck but he sure as hell has no complaints about Andrew’s attention to his.

If someone would have told him a year ago that he would have this, that he would have Andrew and the Foxes and a future, he would have laughed. A year ago there were only minutes and hours. He lived in moments between practice and class and games and lies. He couldn’t imagine weeks or even months into the future. He couldn’t dream of a moment beyond the one he was living in.

Andrew is hot and firm where he’s pressed against Neil, making it nearly impossible to focus on anything but Andrew’s breath and the scrape of teeth across his shoulder.

“Wanna blow you. Yes or no?” Andrew pushes up onto his elbows to level a stare at Neils face, searching for something in his expression. Whatever he finds there and in the breathy Yes that Neil lets out must be enough because he mouths his way down Neils bare chest. He pauses to suck another bruise into his ribcage, running his tongue along the lines of Neil’s ribs.

It’s not often that they find time to do this, take time with one another. Now that practice has started again, night practices have resumed as well. If Kevin isn’t up their asses about running drills, he’s coping with Riko’s death with the bottom of a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Andrew bites into the soft flesh of Neil’s inner thigh before tonguing at the tip of Neil’s cock. He’s been rock hard since Andrew undressed him but when Andrew swallows down, he nearly whites out at the feeling. He doesn’t last long. He never does when Andrew works him up first but i when he comes he shakes under Andrew’s hands.

“Can I-“

“Shoulders only and don’t watch.” Andrew says through gritted teeth before Neil can even finish his question.

It’s like this most often, Andrew getting himself off above Neil. There are bad days, days where Andrew kicks Neil out of the room or retreats to the bathroom to take care of his own arousal but most days it’s like this. Andrew holds himself up on one elbow while Neil runs his fingers across Andrew’s shoulders. Andrew’s other hand dips below the waistband of his sweatpants and minutes later, he’s burying his face into Neil’s neck and his entire body goes rigid above Neil.

After they’ve showered, they settle against one another in the bottom bunk, Andrew’s back to the wall and Neil tucked against Andrew’s chest.

“Andrew?” Neil asks sleepily, just on the edge of being awake.

“Unf.” Andrew grunts in response.

“Would you want to go on a date sometime?”

Andrew’s even breath against Neil’s neck is the only sound in the room for what feels like hours until Neil realizes that Andrew has fallen asleep. His hand is still wound tight in the fabric of Neil’s shirt but the small puffs of breath in Neil’s ear is distinctly even, the only evidence that Andrew is capable of relaxing.

                                                         ______

It’s after Andrew’s next session that Andrew drops onto the couch where Neil is knee deep in calculus homework. He drops two tickets into Neil’s lap and twirls an unlit cigarette between his fingers.

“Friday after practice. I heard you like that shitty band that Matt always plays.” Andrew says unceremoniously, like he hasn’t just dropped two concert tickets into Neil’s lap. To anyone else, concert tickets might not mean much but Neil knows just how much Andrew is giving him with these two small strips of cardstock. It’s more than just acknowledging that he heard Neil’s question between warm sheets and Andrew’s breath against his neck. It’s acknowledging that he cares about what Neil wants, acknowledging that whatever this is between them is something he cares enough about to indulge Neil’s fantasy of normalcy.

“You heard me.” Neil says, eyes shining and jaw slightly agape.

“Of course I did. You never shut up.” Andrew says, though the quirk of the corner of his mouth betrays his smugness at knowing he’s the one to make Neil look like this.

“Andrew..” Neil says, still unbelieving. He stares at Andrew, as if he will disappear if he looks away.

“Stop looking at me like that or I’ll take Kevin.” Andrew replies, the small tilt of his lips saying otherwise.

Neil leans down to where Andrew is trying his best to scowl at him, slowly enough that Andrew could pull away if he needs to, and presses a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Thank you.” He whispers.

If they spend the next thirty minutes making out on the couch, Neil’s calculus homework forgotten, well that’s nobody’s business.

                                                         ______

Andrew’s fingers grip Neil tightly as they weave through the crowd. The concert is standing room only and Neil already offered to stand at the back of the club so Andrew can press his back against the wall instead of leaving it to strangers. A few tables litter the edges of the standing room but they’re all full and Andrew is pulling Neil through the crowd until they’re close enough to the stage where Neil can see above the heads bobbing in front of them.

“If we’re going to go to a concert you may as well be able to see.” Andrew explains, as if he hasn’t turned the world on its axis with the amount of concessions he’s made for Neil in one week alone.

The evening is an exercise in growth and trust for them both. Andrew stands rigid through the opening act, though he does allow Neil to stand at his back with his hands on his waist. They’re not pressed close together but allowing Neil to touch him outside his direct line of vision is a first.

By the time the main act crosses the stage, Andrew is leaning into Neil’s touch. Whether it’s exhaustion from the week or just giving Neil another permission, Neil isn’t sure but he hooks his chin over Andrew’s shoulder and crosses his arms over Andrew’s stomach. “We don’t have to stay long.” Neil says, instead of I’m here and I see you.

“Shut up.” Andrew says despite curling into Neil’s lithe body. And Neil presses small kisses wherever he can reach: the side of Andrew’s neck, his cheek, the shell of his ear. The music is familiar, some songs Matt has played in the changing room after practice or during team dinners. Neil isn’t familiar with the lyrics by any means but between the sway of bodies around him and the heat of Andrew’s body, the lyrics strike him harder than music usually does.

'Cause somebody hurt me

Somebody hurt me

But I'm staying alive

And I can tell

When you get nervous

You think being yourself means being unworthy

And it's hard to love with a heart that's hurting

“Yes or no Andrew?”

Andrew is turning around in his grip before the question leaves Neil’s mouth, his hands finding Neil’s hair and tugging until Neil’s mouth is sliding against his. For a moment the crowd melts away and it’s just the two of them wrapped up in each other, pressed together at the chest and at the hips. Neil never takes Andrew for granted and anytime he has Andrew’s lips sliding against his, he is acutely aware of how lucky he is but getting to hold Andrew tight against him in a crowd of people is something else entirely. It’s stupid that he should feel possesive after everything they’ve been through. Andrew has shown him in more than words that he chooses Neil but there’s something that unfurls in his chest at knowing that Andrew is his.

“Idiot.” Andrew mumbles when they pull away for a moment, as if he can read Neil’s mind.

Their surroundings come back to them in pieces. They’re hardly aware of the song ending as they push through the crowd to make it out of the club. Neil reaches over the center console of Maserati in silent request. Andrew takes his hand wordlessly as he rolls his eyes.

“It’s just a hand.” He says.