yikes

I have had a lot of evil people say to me that nothing taste as good as skinny feels and every time im like no im pretty sure food tastes really super good actually

i think that soy sauce fish and honey bear must be the very very best of friends

god I'm such a slut for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce *decides it’s inaccurate to refer to myself as a slut in light of my minimal sexual activity* if The Enemy discovered my ardor for Chinese eggplant in garlic sauce, they would gain a significant strategic advantage

we bought a shirt at a thrift store that says "best mom in louisiana" for some reason (as a reminder we are in midwest germany) and now my spouse keeps walking around the house wearing it and saying shit like "WHO STANDS BEFORE THE GREATEST MOM OF LOUISIANA?"

I'm rooming w a buddy of mine who's Chinese and she started playing some MMO and I was like, what's with the Chinese music and she was like "I just call it music. Just a lil glimpse into how Chinese I am." Which is a funny little response except she is high as fuck and stretched it out to approximately three unbroken minutes because she kept laughing too hard at her own punchline

it’s weird that professional letters are supposed to start with “dear.” i don’t even call my mom that

my darling hiring manager. my springtime rose. if hired i will bring a strong work ethic to this position

It's actually so fucking weird that your identity is absolute these days. like, it's been normalized to the point we don't think of it much, but until a hundred years ago, hell even less, you could just kinda. go somewhere else, and be a new person. and that's not a thing anymore.

Yk this is fully untrue right? You can fully still do this if you're willing to change and let go of everything at literally any moment you want

since a good few people now have said this i want to be clear: you can move to a new town still and change socially, but like. the government still knows who you are. so do tons of corporations. your identity follows you.

13 hours later and the parade of stupid comments like this has not stopped =_=

a guy named Rusty cage did a video on how it's impossible to leave your identity behind unless you become a eunuch

fuck hermit I meant hermit

Identity is stored in the balls.