yikes

"a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips" is so fucking crazy to me because that just sounds like a win/win

I think if your worldview relies on the unquestioned assumption that most people suck you're like. how do I put this kindly. philosophically you've maybe never moved past the mindset of a socially uncomfortable seventh grader.

nobody tears through library books quite as fast as a 12 yr old girl with no friends

only ppl on this post who matter r the ppl who r saying "me except im not a girl anymore" & "me except i wasnt a girl yet"

let em keep thinking we’re dead

at the start of every month everyone reblogs some insane poetry that’s like “august has arrived and again I swallow my bones in the burning sun” and every time I’m like damn that makes no sense. but kind of true.

omg guys happy bone swallowing august

being an early bird is soooo awesome taking the longest slowest most leisurely start to the day and it is now 8:25am

And this is of course not even mentioning the worm

i was at an event last night in california and i went to the bar to order wine bc wine was like, a thing, and i looked at the menu and saw i was completely out of my depth bc idk any wine names, so i turned to my right and there was a man in a gorgeous suit standing at the bar beside me and i said “do you know anything about wine?” and he said “a little, yes!” i told him i liked white and dry wines and asked if he’d order for me. he asked the server for two glasses and had one poured for each of us and then he clinked his glass on mine but he didn’t take a sip, he just watched me taste mine and then he asked what i thought and i said “it’s pretty good, but like i said, i wouldn’t know.” he laughed and told me to have a good time & i walked away. fifteen minutes later i found out he’s the winemaker.