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Vax: Black is my colour. Black, like your eye if you don't back off!

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Yesterday while out the mall I walked by Hot Topic and in the window was this sweatshirt:
“That is pretty neat,” I thought. “as someone who likes both Rick and Morty and tie dye, I am vaguely interested in buying that.”
But then my senses came to me. As I stood at the window, H&M purchases in one hand and my phone in the other I suffered an Scrubs-like internal monologue.
“What are you doing Max, you can’t wear that to school. It would ruin your reputation as a pretentious boarding school educated Andy Warhol enthusiast. You would be roasted to a crisp. The lads would laugh you into extinction. Even the guys who like Rick and Morty. And if your Tumblr audience saw you wearing that you would be burned to a crisp.”
“But you love that show. That shirt would look great with your overalls. You like Rick and Morty. You wasted several days of your life binge-watching it. When have you ever cared what people thought? Your apathy is your defining feature. Besides, it isn’t as though you create Rick and Morty Musicallys and write incest fanfiction. It’s a shirt. A shirt you like. Buy it, you have money.”
I took two confident steps towards the entrance before I stopped.
“What if while you’re wearing it someone walks up to you and simply says “I’m Pickle Rick!” What will you do? You will punch them. You will be arrested for assault and spend two years in prison. Your life will be ruined. The conviction will mean you cannot get a job. You will have nothing but the shirt on your back. A Rick and Morty shirt.”
I didn’t buy it.
- “The Road Not Taken”, (Robert Frost, 1916)
If 👏 you 👏 are 👏 at 👏 uni/college 👏 register 👏 to 👏 vote👏 this 👏 is 👏 not 👏 a 👏 drill 👏
ways i have tricked people into thinking i am competent:
bought a really nice looking fountain pen
that sounds like a joke but fountain pens are cheap as shit and when you use one people look at you like you’re a fucking wizard
this hero 901 cost me $3 on ebay and i don’t know why people assume that this is a pen for intelligent people but they do
it works better when i am using a nice notebook and not the avengers notebook that makes it look like the hulk is grabbing my sweet pen
i write in code which for some reason leads everyone to assume that i am some kind of da vinci motherfucker, instead of the reality, which is that i am writing about dicks and don’t want anyone to know
it looks like i am constantly taking notes on everything which is both intimidating and inaccurate, just the way i like it
i bought a usb clicker/laser pointer for $11 and now it seems like i’ve got this shit on lock, like i am so pro at giving presentations i even own accessories
holding a clicker makes you seem at least 10% more like you know what you’re talking about i’m pretty sure
i check the weekly freebies on creativemarket every monday so now i have a huge folder of pro-looking website themes and powerpoint templates and fill-in-the-blank resumes (also a lot of autumnal clipart and watercolor flowers and script fonts but that is less relevant)
i bought a ceramic coffee mug at world market years ago and it makes me look like a productive coffee-drinker because no one knows it’s full of hot cocoa
i don’t know why drinking coffee makes you look busy it just does even though i’m pretty sure it statistically reduces productivity
bonus: not only does no one know i’m just drinking Depression Chocolate but they think i am being Environmentally Conscious rather than Poor As Shit
extra bonus: i can take a sip whenever it looks like someone is going to ask a question and then they ask someone else
i almost never have to answer questions and i leave the room a lot because i have to pee constantly so double extra bonus
“That’s a very good question, and one that deserves an in-depth answer, so if you’d like to leave me your card I’d be happy to discuss it with you later one-on-one” aka “how DARE you suggest i waste everyone’s time answering this question right now” aka “lmfao i have no fucking clue what you just said please let me secretly google that okay”
bonus: now it seems like you are a sophisticated grownup who assumes everyone has A Card and if they have to settle for writing their email on a scrap of paper you can feel smug about it even though in your heart you know that you are no better
i’ve got anxiety and poor impulse control and anxiety about my poor impulse control so i generally say jack shit about shit and this constant silence is often misinterpreted as aloof observation
no one knows that my air of mystery is actually a bad case of the shy and i am too shy to correct them so it works out
when i’m on my laptop and i don’t want anyone to notice how much i’m dicking around i turn the brightness way down so they can’t snoop without being obvious
at least one window of notepad++ with some random html page or css stylesheet in it makes randos assume you are some kind of genius doing some genius shit, unless they are CS major randos, in which case i guess find an intimidating looking excel spreadsheet and hope for the best
Wow
This is AMAZING thank you for your life tips and guidance, friend
a tiny little information: if my love for my country, my appreciation of tradition, and my devotion to All Things Slavic misguided you into believing I’ll adore and agree with your nationalist, white pride, or in any way heavily right-wing blog, then from the deepest part of my slavic heart: fuck you.

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GERMAN SLANG WORDS
Alter/Alte: Dude
der Asi: anti-social person
der Bulle: cop
die Eier: balls
die Fete: party
das Flittchen: hussy
der Gummi: condom
der Klugscheisser: know-it-all
der (alte) Knacker: (old) geezer
die Möpse: boobs
der Ohrwurm: catchy tune
der Penner: bum
der Schwanz: penis
der Schwarm: crush
die Titten: tits
die Tussi: bimbo
die Zicke: bitch
der Zoff: trouble
auf etwas/jemanden abfahren: to be crazy about something/someone
abhängen: to relax, to hang out
jemanden abservieren: to dump somebody
anbaggern: to hit on somebody
jemanden anmachen: to hit on somebody
checken: to understand something
gaffen: to stare
knutschen: to snog
labern: to prattle
pennen: to sleep
etwas schnallen: to understand something
auf etwas/jemanden stehen: to fancy something/someone
jemanden verarschen: to take the piss out of somebody
jemanden verdreschen: to beat someone
verpissen: to bugger off
geil: cool
krass: crass
spitze: great
voll: very
I LAUGHED SO HARD
True bravery is trusting your instinct over google translate
it just is

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anybody else in the club feeling this one
for years i thought that "perish" meant the same as flourish or prosper
and honestly, i prefer the "then perish" meme in that wholesome form
It is unfortunate that the surname of the famous Slovene philosopher Slavoj Žižek is so often written without the diacritic marks – as Zizek.
It may seem like a rather marginal difference to a foreigner but to a Slovene it is essentially the difference between Slavoj Žižek and Slavoj Titty.
the best part of this post are the tags tbh
#naruto
Tag yourself in tags!
(@hellostudykatie sent me this)
(hmu for creds)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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hey heres a cool website
http://everynoise.com/
it has thousands of genres of music and when u click on one it plays you a track
sorry for spam i need magic