:-)

I like to listen to lcd soundsystem and pretend I’m 38

the real fantasy of heated rivalry isn’t that the hot cocky sex god will fall in love with the uptight socially awkward virgin… the real fantasy is that you can be sooooooo fucking annoying & avoidant & allergic to intimacy and someone who is securely attached will nevertheless doggedly pursue you, make you feel your feelings, and then marry you

count dracula? uhhh ok. one

WRONG! searching "dracula" on letterboxd alone gives almost 600 results! and that's just movies! thousands of draculas are upon us

cmon they just started… give it some time

Keep going

whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls

does anyone have the "you should give him some pussy" tweet please

I’m literally in my beast form going to bed

Stop calling the crumbs shit. None of you realize how hard it is to photoshop crumbs falling mid-air via a birds-eye perspective. They don't just have 'mid-air granola crumbs' on google, no one has ever thought of photographing that before. I had to color a bunch of boulders brown. I had to find images of various boulders and color them brown, whnich yeah, when I say it out loud, does make it sound like a funny euphemism for shit, but it's really more of a light brown color and it took a lot of time and effort, so stop.

starting a foundation that gives disadvantaged children one wild ass night at the club

Why the fuck are you suggesting putting CHILDREN in a club?

So they can sip grey goose, maybe have a cig, and feel the rhythm? Are you the fun police?

all my alters become walters when i pitch the baseball of success

too perverted for the normies not perverted enough for the real perverts how am i supposed to make it in this crazy world

the moderate/neutral pervert

0 days without thinking of adam parrish, army of one.