A serious blog for serious people

So play like a noob? got it

You’re joking, but it actually is a popular theory in chess that a complete noob potentially can beat a master by confusing them - as the noob doesn’t know what they’re doing the master is unable to recognize which of valid strategies they’re pursuing and cannot deploy proper counterstrategy.

I know what a master is doing, I just may not be faster than them. I know I’m faster than a newbie but hey what the fuck is happening?

I have, on rare occasions, won pokemon battles like this. I have no idea what the meta is, and just slap things together that sound cool. It’s fun when you win by taking someone completely off guard because “Who would run that?!” Idk man, the noob that just kicked your ass. I’m not smart enough for all these mind games that go into serious competitive pokemon, but I do know big laser go pew.

The Newbie Flail™ is the most terrifying attack imaginable.

i can’t die but thank you :) im sure this information will be useful for someone who can

I HATE THIS FUCKING VIDEO

listen. I want All the crack videos for spiderverse. I want john mulaneys entire stand up edited over spiderhams snout moving around. I want nick Miller’s ridiculous dialogue over peter b parker pacing on the ceiling. I want the Absolite Worst nick cage movies put over footage of spiderman noir doing finger guns. Please. I’m begging you.

I’m driving myself up the wall because I swear I can hear the vocal line but I don’t know how that could be if it was truly converted to MIDI. Unless you can replicate speech sounds entirely with modulated MIDI notes, in which case I’m actually impressed with this tire fire of an MP3.

the holiday season is almost upon us and I’d like to bring back this absolute fucking monstrosity of an audio file

Why does this macaroni look like green beans

i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.

This is the opposite of a creepypasta