please just let me sleep

These employees are doing important and laudable work in response to being forced into a bad situation but I’m glad they still took the opportunity to call themselves “United Wizards”

i coul dnever be the captain of a ship. everyday id be like third lieutenant ..... do a backflip lol

last week I was deep in the trenches ploughing through work and mid-afternoon realised I'd neglected to open the blinds and the room was a little dim, so I got up to do that and discovered that a car had flipped onto its roof directly outside my flat and the entire street was closed and flooded with emergency service while they dragged someone out of the vehicle and packed them into an ambulance. so now every time I open the blinds I'm a little like the dog with the ham sandwich bush. what the fuck could it be today.

@sandstonesunspear

Jesus Tapdancing Christ... THIS is a good welt pocket and the people who designed Simplicity 2895 ought to be blasted well ASHAMED of themselves for the crap way THEY wanted a welt pocket made. *SNARLS*

HOT DAMN

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

backrooms movie but its just clark going through and unplugging shit to save on his electricity bill

All fiction is ultimately in the service of figuring new justifications for using chainsaws as weapons.

i just became a brand ambassador for a 1,000 year old sacred grove