hate when people are like "trust your gut! listen to your intuition!" like okay well my gut is telling me every person i lay eyes on is hunting me for sport and my intuition is saying i should find a secluded cave and live there forever so what do you suggest i do with that information

The real Tide Pod Challenge is actually doing a load of laundry while suffering from crippling depression.

when my dog sleeps all day long it’s “cute” but when i do i have “clinical depression” and am “isolating myself from society”

How do i delete my feelings? Like thanks for the opportunity but i dont think its for me.

I might not be the coolest, smartest or prettiest but for sure I’m the sleepiest.

*gets absolutely nothing done* well time for a break

*uses my thumbs to lift my bra straps like an old timey political man would with his suspenders* im the mayor of titty city, bitch

is masturbating while smoking weed called masturblazing 

no its called highjacking

guys no it’s weedwhacking

no its called dissapointing ur mother

can you imagine not being human & just living out your days as a weeping willow, though? beautiful? by the water? unburdened? ideal

I wanna be the one from Harry Potter that beats the shit out of everyone and everything

When you can deny shelter based on credit scores and income requirements, housing becomes a weapon of marginalization and death.

It’s all fun and gay until you get a crush on her