Storm Watching from Higher Places

one of my favorite glados gags is she keeps pretending she went places. she's like i went outside today. girl you did not go anywhere.

they should invent a job that doesn't affect your schedule or energy level that you don't have to go to if you don't want but you still get paid

I don't know which of you needs to hear this but "narc" is not short for "narcissist" when someone calls you a "narc" for snitching they are calling you a "narcotics officer"

technically narc isnt even short for narcotics officer its just cant for Cop, I believe Roma in origin

I read years ago in a book that it was derived from nakk, Romani for nose, as in someone who always has their nose in other people's business

ITS DERIVED FROM "NARCO" AS IN "NARCOTICS" WHAT FUCKING BOOK

Etymology is always doing some shit like this

Convergent evolution.

Linguistic crab

Two entire linguistic traditions have merged to remind you not to be a fuckin narc

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

It’s called ‘being able to see the corpse’

So if I put you in an L-shaped swimming pool, and you knew there was a corpse around the corner, you'd be fine?

loving the implication that I'm a little animal and you're a scientist putting me into various bodies of water to test my corpse:water ratio tolerance

One time an open water swim race I was in was cancelled because there was a corpse in the water (cyclist hit by a rogue wave) and people got mad that it was cancelled and then other people got mad at them for being disrespectful to the dead cyclist, to their family and to the coast guard that was too busy looking for the body to watch us swim. So now the swim has an official corpse policy. Because at least a dozen or so people vocally and angrily expressed the willingness to swim among at least one corpse.

hotel transylvania parking job

It's Matteo JWHJ0715!!!!! Very talented director (italian mother, license plate father)

i love the part of making art where you feel like you need to go missing

my sister has apparently had to stop playing Skyrim because she stole every book in the game to stock her house so now her house is full of books to the point where it almost breaks the game and every time she tries to read one guards teleport into her home and arrest her

Ray Bradbury - Fahrenheit 451 (1953)