okay is Thom Brown just throwing his clothes everywhere? BEcause Pete Davidson is like the 3rd Thom Brown I've seen tonight.
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@mehit
okay is Thom Brown just throwing his clothes everywhere? BEcause Pete Davidson is like the 3rd Thom Brown I've seen tonight.

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This is the best! And so focking accurate!!
My students are taking a midterm. And I’m shaking with laughter. Fuck. Too real. This post ruined my illusion of being a stoic teacher proctoring an exam.
not to take a joke post seriously but this is literally the ideal period humor because
1.) no gendered language
2.) no assumption that people only use tampons (weirdly prevalent??? in discussions about periods)
3.) Thor is here and Thor makes everything better
My mom threw me out of the house at seventeen for getting pregnant, then had me arrested when I tried to get my clothes. Then she fucked the head of parole to try to keep me in jail. She was some prime pussy back then. But the warden did some tests on me and found out I was smart, so I got a scholarship to go anywhere in New York. I chose the Fashion Institute of Technology, which I hated. But by that time I was already getting work making costumes for the strippers and porn stars in Times Square. All my friends were gay people, because they never judged me. All I did was gay bars: drag queen contests, Crisco Disco, I loved the whole scene. And I couldn’t get enough of the costumes. My friend Paris used to sit at the bar and sell stolen clothes from Bergdorf and Lord and Taylors, back before they had sensor tags. So I had the best wardrobe: mink coats, 5 inch heels, stockings with seams up the back. I looked like a drag queen, honey. One night a Hasidic rabbi tried to pick me up because he thought I was a [trans woman]. I had to tell him: ‘Baby, this is real fish!’
My stripper name was Tanqueray. Back in the seventies I was the only black girl making white girl money. I danced in so many mob clubs that I learned Italian. Black girls weren’t even allowed in some of these places. Nothing but guidos with their pinky rings and the one long fingernail they used for cocaine. I even did a full twenty minutes in the place they filmed Saturday Night Fever. But I made my real money on the road. Three grand on some trips. Every time Fort Dix had their pay day, they’d bring me in as a feature and call me ‘Ms. Black Universe’ or some shit like that. I had this magic trick where I’d put baby bottle tops on my nipples and squirt real milk, then I’d pull a cherry out of my G-string and feed it to the guy in the front row. But I never used dildos on stage or any shit like that. Never fucked the booking agents. Never fucked the clients. In fact, one night after a show, I caught another dancer sneaking off to the Tate Hotel with our biggest tipper. Not allowed. So the next night we put a little itching powder in her G-string. Boy did she put on a show that night. Didn’t see her again until ‘The Longest Yard’ with Burt Reynolds. So I guess she finally fucked the right one.
The scene was different back then. All the adult clubs were mob controlled. It all flowed up to some guy named Matty The Horse. Honestly the mob guys never bothered me. They were cool, and I liked how they dressed. They wore custom made suits. And they went to hair stylists, not barbers. These guys wouldn’t even let you touch their hair when you were fucking them. Not that I ever fucked them. Because I never turned tricks. Well, except for one time. I took a job from this woman named Madame Blanche. She controlled all the high dollar prostitutes back then. She was like the Internet– could get you anything you wanted. And all the powerful men came to her because she never talked. She set me up with a department store magnate who wanted a black girl dressed like a maid. I thought I could do it. But when I got to his hotel room, he wanted to spank me with a real belt. So that was it for me. I was done. But Madame Blanche set my best friend Vicki up with The President every time he came to New York. And don’t you dare write his name cause I can’t afford the lawyers. But he’d always spend an hour with her. He’d send a car to pick her up, bring her to his hotel room, put a Secret Service agent in front of the door, and get this: all he ever did was eat her pussy!
I would die for this woman.
I want this woman to be president.
I stan forever.
Benedict Cumberbatch came as sinister pimp meets Colonel Sanders meets The Young Pope and I respect that.
OMGthatdress, the beat way to experience any gala
Sean O'Connell still has the best weigh-in stare downs
You guys, he’s back!
I didn’t know that I needed to see this until I saw it.
To put it simple. You DONT have to act tuff. To be a tough guy. haha
So I looked this guy up. First, not shown in the first gif is the fact that he’s just wearing regular pants:
Also, he’s written a sci-fi novel and has spent time in Africa building a school and orphanage for abused teenage girls. So, good for that guy.
Good guy mma dude.

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You will be my bridesmaid. Thank you, Ophelia. Your bridal bouquet? Thorns? Oh, no! I want daisies, buttercups and fresh weeds. I’ll go down to the bogs and pick you some.
Do not question the power of boobs
This is how boobs work in anime, apparently…
jesus christ
Dowager Countess vs. chairs.

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Christopher Tolkien explains why his father, JRR Tolkien, wrote down “The Hobbit” in the first place, when it was originally intended to be an oral bedtime story for his children.
(found in the forward to The Hobbit Fiftieth Anniversary Edition, 1987)
‘Damn the boy’
#have you ever been so annoying you caused the reinvention of an entire literary genre
Now everyone on Tumblr has access to a tiny gif of Maui dancing back and forth while slapping his pecs. I feel like I’ve created something stupid yet wonderful, so…
what can I say
except
you’re welcome
And thanks to link-sharing on Discord, you can now have an even smaller version of him.
ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ʷᵉᶫᶜᵒᵐᵉ
@areyouwilling this is for you
On mobile this is just progressively worsening quality mauis
Have you considered…Two Maui?
I’ve grown too powerful
Unlimited Power
Ok this is the final one I swear
W̰̼̻͉ͥ̊͌ͤ̀͒͆͘͡Ḩ̗̺̹̖͚͓̠͎͕͍̟̘̝̝͈̖ͣ͐̔̚͘͟A̵̧͎̝͉̥̜̠ͬ͂ͩ͌ͦ̑ͬ͂͐͒̌͛̈́̌̐̅ͫ͝Ţ̦̳̥̺̬͚͍̮̺̤̫͈̹͈̪̳̲̥̐͐̾͊ͧ̑̒̓̎͆̒̕͜ ̨̧ͨ̅̐͑͒̇ͬ̈̓͑ͨ͘҉͇̱͉̩̳̙͔̗̞̺̭̦C̷̢̭͉̜̠͖̱̥̰̭͉͇͚͚̫̺̗̣ͩ́̏͂ͥA̷̴̮̰̙̝̩͇̲̺̱̮͍̪̻̗͚͈͈ͬͩͯͮ͋͆̓̐̍͒̈́͑̈̇̉̓̎̀͘ͅN̸̏̂̑̄͑̔ͨ͛̉̽̓̋ͯ̕͏͏͍̣̱̭͇̫̠̯̦̠̤̯̭͚̭ͅ ̶̡͊ͩ͊ͯͯ̋͆̍͆̈́̍̚͏̛͇̤̳̼̞͉̟̼̞̳̙͖̰͙̠̞̯̕ͅI̓̉̎͏̴̖̼̘͚͖̤̪̱̜̯̦̹͖̟́̕ ͋͂̓ͯ̾̿ͪͬͬ͌͊͊̇ͬ͌̌̚҉̮̞̱̗͎̱̪̜͕̺̯͙͔̳̩̰̖͈͓́͘Ş͆ͦ͐̏ͯͮ͝͏̷̻̗͓͚̬̩̭͙̗̩̩͍͙̖̹̻̬̜A͋̅̆̾̇̈́̇͊̽ͭ̓̄͊́̃̎̚͏͝͏͈̲͎͇͕̥͇̗͉̪͍͓͕͢͜Yͩͪ͌́̅̍ͫ̑̔҉̴̶̣̝͙̖̼̠̖͇͕͈̳̘͉̹̞͕͈͙̱͜͠ ̖̪̬̜͒͋ͦ͊ͤ̎͒̌ͫ͑̐͢E̴͐ͨ̓̊͌͂̄ͭͤͥ̎ͦ̄̈́ͭ̕҉͇̰̩̳͎͇̤̲̟͔̥͔̦̤͜X̶ͪ̽̑̑̔̓̑̓͑̍͏͉̪͚̳̜͔̹͞C̴̸̤̙̺̪̟̘̟̯̪̱͔̽̈́̏͒̒̄̔ͫͤ͢E̸̳̟̩̦̯͖͚̜̗̩̰̞̥ͣ̓̓ͥͩ̅͑ͥ̍̄ͤ͗̾̐̇͗̒̋̃͘ͅͅP̵̞͙͓̫̫̰̹͉̹̭͚ͩ͌ͤ̑̏͐ͨͤT̲̣͖͚̭͙̻͇̖̗͖̟͇̟̤̫̰̥ͫͭ́͆̅̐͐̈́͊͋ͮ͐̊̀ͮ͌͢͢ ̸̡̨̙͖̪̞̠͇̙̘͚̟̝̣̘͚̅̎ͯ͌͑̔̔ͭ͛ͮ͋̃ͣͣ̀̑̍͛͋͘ͅͅỴ̣̰̩͓̗̹̝͑ͭ̉ͤ̈ͩ́ͬ͛ͣͪ̋͢͠͞O̟̟̪̦͇͖͎͌͋͛ͤ̈͂ͩͪ̅͊ͪ̿́͝Ṳ̣̪̰̲͙̮͍ͤ͌̒̉̈̃ͣ̽͋̐̽̓̊̇̓̂͜͞'̝̙͍̠͕ͦͬ͂̄͂̌̊ͮ̾̈̂͂̆͒͂̀͘͡Ŗ̖̞̯̘̬̆ͥ̏͂͂͊͒ͧ̂̐ͭ̌̑̚̚͢ͅÉͨ͗͗ͣ̏͊̄̾̄̒̄ͫͯ̾͏̴̲̝̹͓̺̝ ̡̡̖̼̩̻͈͎͖̟̯̑̆͂ͫͅW̵̨̧̟̞̻̿͐ͯ̋ͯ̾ͫ̓͐ͫ́͠ͅE̛̎̒̈̈́ͩͦ͘͏̴͖͖̟̰̞̭̜̠̦̯̬̘͓̣̪̻Ḷ̥͍̲͉̜̯͔̜͔̮̘̣͉͓̯ͤ͗̾ͮ̅͑̓̓̍͆ͥ̏ͬ̊ͪ̚̚͘͟ͅC͕͉̬̭̼͚͈̰̥͈͙͕͚͈͈̱̲̐ͫ̐ͬ̉͆̆̆̂̾ͯ̉̉ͪ̀̒͆͡͡Ǫ̘̖͙̱̞̘̟͖͍̜̈́̅͗̔ͥͪͥ͛̿̄̇̍͘M͊̆ͬ̍̈́ͯ̎͛̃̉̉ͣ̚҉̴͇̳͔̱̪̞̹̤̤͖̗̫͙́͟ͅE̡͇̙̼̼͖̬̼ͦ̍͂̑̂͝
MOOOREEE
So I discovered that some people are referring to this post as the “mauipocalypse” and I’m loving it.
The Laura Croft game we all deserve
It’s 5am and my eyes were so blurry that I legit thought “wow look at Shia LaBuff”
Just watched Hannah Gadsbys show Nanette on Netflix and wow. It was one of the most intense and important standup shows I have ever seen. She told her story and made important points without making light of them for laughter but instead analysing what was behind her own comedy. I highly recommend watching the show but know that it is very emotional and she talks about abuse, homophobia and rape so if that are triggers for someone, take care.
“You learn from the part of the story you focus on.”
— Hannah Gadsby, Nanette

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Hannah Gadsby: Nanette (2018)
Hannah Gadsby: Nanette (2018)