i had a nap dream that i got a phalloplasty and the results were so incredible that somehow it got out that i had the most beautiful penis in the world (whatever that would mean) and actors started hiring me to be their penis double in films (as if there are a ton of penis closeups in hollywood) and i made a decent living doing it but it was in all my contracts not to say anything so no one knew it wasn’t the actors’ real penises. but then after a few years a journalist noticed and compared all the shots and realized they were all the same penis so she found me and wrote an article for vanity fair. i was thrust into the spotlight and didn’t know how to handle the attention. i got invited to talk about it on a talk show and the host introduced me like “you know his penis…now meet the man!”

[Image description: a screenshot of a tiktok showing a couple with the man sitting on a bed cradling the woman, and a baby is laying behind them looking at a smartphone. The caption reads: "since quitting 🌽 (from context we can infer it is used as a euphemism for porn) my husband initiates intimacy and feels more present". End ID]

Instead of crass and discriminatory "jokes", I prefer to get my chuckles from wholesome humor, such as: "my god, the scrimbly blumbo!" Hahahaha! Really, there's no need for slurs and put-downs when comedy like "skcrunklo bonglo bingo" is available! I am racist as fuck though,

you have to admit it: most if not all animals are very brave. they do a lot of things and dont always know whats going to happen. they have beautiful eternal souls because of this

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors

You think I could afford to live in Orc City? On a war drummer's salary? I commute an hour and a half from the outlying Orc Metropolitan Area.

Well it is certainly cheaper than living under the elf king LOL!

Brother, anyone residing under the elf king's banner might be Alive, but they certainly aren't Living! 🤣😂🤣

earthquakes are like the one natural disaster that isn’t being directly exacerbated by global warming. that shit is here for the love of the game and the love of the game only.