Terrible

"you have the morals of an alley cat" is the most old guy thing biden has ever said by far. it's like an 1820s kind of insult

We came from dirt we have to swallow it

when my local friendgroup hit our late 20's/early 30's we all metamorphosed into ancient romans and/or redwall characters bc now whenever we have 'get togethers' ppl are always bringing over cheeses and crusty breads and cured meats and olives and grapes and ales etc

the ancients were wrong about many things but they were absolutely right about snacking plates

i wish i could say “?????????????????” in real life. it would be very useful.

don’t question it, just let it happen

LMAO I SEE THAT TOOTHPICK nice try you dumbass moth I know you didn’t realize that was edible until your keeper unrolled your tongue and stuck it in there

Where’s that post about having mundane superpowers

I was not ready

untitled goose game works because if i was playing a human person i would still feel terrible for attacking people at random and stealing their possessions even though i know that neither i nor they are real, but since i'm doing all of that as my bastardsona i feel that it is not only my right but my duty to inflict as much havoc and mild vexation as possible on the unsuspecting population of NPCs

My parents continuously tell me that my generation’s humour makes no sense and I still refuse to ever explain it to them

why does this have me in tears????

there is absolutely no way to predict how this video is going to end