Welcome To Nowhere

when i was in therapy i once expressed to my therapist that i really struggle with having pretty much zero idea of who i am as a person + she whipped out a piece of paper and suggested that we write down different aspects of myself. and i had no idea what to say bc ‘myself’ is a concept i’m not very familiar with so she started saying about my interests and how that’s part of me + i was like okay!! that makes sense!! so she clicked her pen and was like “you said you like video games before” and i was like sure bud :) and watched her write down, in capital letters ‘GAMER’ and i’ve never had so much terror struck into my h

Love the word "also". I have more things to say

i honestly really can't believe that "unsportsmanlike conduct" is a penalty in any sport. i think athletes should be allowed tell their opponents to kill themselves and then teabag their bodies

horses : glue :: gorillas : gorilla glue

you CANNOT read too much old timey fiction because I was playing Raft with the lads this morning and without a THOUGHT said we could sail over to another island "if the wind would consent to blow" & let me tell you. This did not pass by unremarked.

i would trust weird al with my drink at a party. granted he may put one of those capsules that expands into a sponge animal in it,

This is precisely why Cooltrainers are exiled to the mountains

The notes on this post are an absolute joy.

Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet

thinking about boxed meat? again

puppy! puppy!!! puppy puppy puppyyy come heere, cmere!! *pats lap* sit on owners lap ! owner wants to tell you something puppy! you're annoying the shit out of owner. one more slip-up and you're going to the kill shelter you useless mutt.

u can't be serious right now

can someone make one of these for ants next