hmm... *gets in evil bed and holds my evil stuffed animal* evil night.. *turns off my fucked up evil lamp*

love how quickly my brain goes from “no more wasting money on doordash” to “but i’m a special boy who deserves calzones”

had the worst toast-buttering experience today

dinosaurs lived and died and they have nothing to show for it………………..

they didn’t serve cunt is the problem

just got word from local mystics that your baby gets a different kind of curse depending on which instagram filter you put on the ultrasound photos. I forget the specifics but I’m pretty sure valencia is the one where they can ride dogs like horses so don’t worry too much about it. there’s good and bad curses.