Steve and his interactions with the gang wouldve been so fucking funny from Eddie’s outsider perspective, in like an AU where the upside down ended in s3 or whatever.
Eddie knows Steve literally just by the rumor mill. Last he heard he was a Peaked In High School Loser but otherwise a pretty normal fucking guy.
So why tf is any interaction he has with him now so fucking insane?? Literally, every interaction can’t just be normal. And he finds himself interacting with him way more thanks to the new hellfire freshies.
Just from what he can gather from them, he knows that:
Steve has a nail studded bat and has used it (on what?? On who??)
that he got it from Jonathan (that one guy his ex cheated on him with?? That Jonathan?? Why did Jonathan have it in the first place?)
And is dating that one lesbian that’s in band, not that anyone knows that but when Dustin pointed her out (like “oh yeah thats Robin she’s so cool Eddie! She and steve are definitely probably secretly dating—Hey Robin! Hey!! Rob—aaand she’s ignoring me…”) Eddie only needed a brief glance to clock her gay ass.
And like what’s the story there? Why is a gay band geek dating a washed up jock? Is she that far in the closet? Fuck, does she even know she’s gay? Whatever, that’s not his mess to clean up.
Except they’re definitely dating cuz one time Eddie went to family video and got jumped scared by Steve being there in the first place (jesus is this guy just everywhere now?) and the way He and this Robin girl work around in each others space and don’t even need to complete sentences to communicate is some fucking weird shit.
And there’s something there between them that makes you feel like you’re interrupting whatever they have going on by checking out a video in the first place. Like Eddie daring to be there on a Saturday evening is the biggest inconvenience to them.
But they can’t actually be dating, he saw that Robin has literal boobs drawn on her chucks.
Eddie can’t figure them out but he’s invested in this storyline now.
One time, he got threatened by Steve cuz he heard Mike say that he wanted a tattoo and that Eddie said knew a guy who didn’t care enough to card him (which he did say that but he wasn’t actually gonna take wheeler to get a fucking tattoo). He cornered Eddie in the gas station while he refilling his tank, and said “if you ever fucking dared to sneak Mike out to get a stupid ass tattoo I’m telling Nancy so she could shoot your fucking toe off with her gun” all while struggling to open a bag of Twislers with his meaty jock hands that obliterated any intimidation tactic he was trying to pull off.
Breezing past that Steve, his ex, and his Ex’s little brother are apparently hanging around in the same circles: Her gun? With her gun? Does Nancy fucking Wheeler just have a gun lying around? The girl that wears pink cashmere cardigans?
Did Steve really just threaten to snitch to Mikes big sister on him? Does that even count as a threat?
Eddie told him “woah, wasn’t even planning on it” only for him to menacingly point a Twisler in his face making Eddie put his hands up like he was actually being held at gun point. By a Twisler.
“You better fucking not.”
What is that guy’s problem?
And Eddie swears he overheard Mike talking to Dustin last weekend about Hopper (Chief Hopper? The guy that DIED last summer?) thinking about flying out to California to visit El (which Eddie can only assume is the same El as ‘Mike’s girlfriend El’) once he manages to secure his “new identity”.
To which Dustin replies “If Hopper gets married to Joyce and El becomes Will’s step sister, would it be weird if you and Nancy keep dating El and Jonathan? Cuz siblings dating siblings is pretty fucking weird, man.”
“Shut up, Dustin. It’s not like El is blood related to Hopper—thank god—she was raised in lab, it doesn’t count.”
