no matter how normalised it gets I will die on the hill that it is rude to record strangers in public without their consent

stop thinking with your dick and start thinking with your pussy. ok now stop thinking with your pussy and start thinking with your dick again. meditate on the differences between them. call me back when you get it.

eating would be fine if it was only a recreational activity. instead, its a horrible sisiphean nightmare and you need to do it every day without fail on threat of pain and death

this too shall pass but the fuck was that for

I can tell my evil advisor has been feeling down lately so I've been pretending to take big sips from his cursed chalice and then roaming the palace grounds groaning and clutching my abdomen. Lowkey I know it's deceptive but I can tell it's really cheering him up. I heard him evilly cackle for the first time in weeks. WIBTA if I keep doing this

I need to watch so many movies

bella was lucky she didn’t have a cell phone of any kind because you know ya boi edward would be blowing up that phone 24-7 going “saw a snail today…. effervescent” or some shit equivalent

happy 3 yr anniversary to the post that singlehandedly launched the twilight renaissance

Happy 5 year anniversary to the effervescent snail post

Happy 8 year anniversary to the effervescent snail post

put on my leitmotif bro i feel a monologue coming on

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

If a fantasy world has an ancient tree of wisdom, that means it must also have young trees that are dumb as shit. Just giving terrible advice like, "the evil wizard is kinda hot"'

okay. rude.

I actually love kinksters so much

Learning from every source in your life that sex is disgusting and sinful, that you should be ashamed of your feelings, thoughts and desires and then having someone in a dog mask tell you, "No, it's all cool, actually," is mind-blowing lol

Kink is allowing folks a space to be weird and unconventional, its in that space that questions can be asked and explored in a way conventional space wouldn't normally allow.

ao3 asking if i want to see mature content. do i want to see birds in the sky. do i want to feel the wind in my hair and the grass under my feet

“are u okay?” no i need more money

Objectively the funniest (and only memorable) time I've been blocked on any website was when Jordan Peterson posted "nobody knew about transgenderism five years ago" on twitter and I quoted it with "you've been saying this for ten years"