love like you

Does anyone . Want to hang out

can i come over and act weird in your presence

bodies should never ever hurt when i’m trying to sleep. like girl literally just turn off. that’s enough

Do we have a franz kafka diary entry for july 1st, i want to know what he thinks!!!

i took a nap and woke up in all these goddam spinanch

I love having interests that I would never ever recommend to any of my friends ever

i need to recreate this truck i saw with my eyes while driving on the highway today gimme a sec

but how can I do this five minute task if I'm leaving in thirty minutes

I'll do you one better: but how can I do this five minute task if I'm leaving in two hours

i cant believe i have to smoke this blunt with no pepsi 

There’s people who have war in their countries

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

Good Job.

I cannot believe that the company running this Titanic tours thing is actually called OceanGate. It’s like they pre-packaged a PR disaster.

"Doctor, give it to me straight" "You sure, there's a fee" "… Give it to me gay"