Okay so I’m a bit scared to share this, but here goes… I’m going by Mark now. Like I did when I was thirteen and starting to question ‘am I a boy?’ I was happy as a trans guy, even though I only socially transitioned… but at 20-ish, I got a new psychiatrist who wouldn’t allow me to explain my gender without talking about my breasts (he used the word ‘boobs’… on my very first appointment with him!) and making me feel like I ‘wasn’t trans enough’ because I didn’t always wear a binder or feel self hatred 24/7. So I went back to my deadname. And then I tried out other identities of gender that he’d approve of, but I’m just… I’m Mark. I’m a socially awkward trans fella who uses he/they pronouns and I’m usually in too much physical pain to put on a binder. I want to be my honest self and not be ashamed like I was with this doctor. He’s still my psychiatrist btw, but that’s because I’m scared to go without one again. It sucks that years of happiness and gender vibes were stolen from me because a nosy psychiatrist wanted to know all about my breasts. I am Mark. I am happy as Mark. I feel… free.
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