ā¦WE HAVE BEEN INTO HOUSES WHERE THE CHILDREN HAD MANY TOYS AND BROUGHT THEM EVEN MORE TOYS, AND IN HOUSES LIKE THIS THE CHILDREN GET PRACTICALLY NOTHING.
āHuh, weād have given anything to get practically nothing when I was a lad,ā said Albert.
BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOUāVE GOT, IS THAT IT?
āThatās about the size of it, master. A good god line, that. Donāt giveĀ āem too much and tellĀ āem to be happy with it. Jam tomorrow, see?ā
THIS IS WRONG, Death hesitated. I MEANā¦ITāS RIGHT TO BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOUāVE GOT. BUT YOUāVE GOT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO BE HAPPY ABOUT HAVING. THEREāS NO POINT BEING HAPPY ABOUT HAVING NOTHING.
Albert felt a bit out of his depth with this new tide of philosophy.Ā āDunno,ā he said.Ā āI suppose peopleād say theyāve got the moon and the stars and suchlike.ā
IāM SURE THEY WOULDNāT BE ABLE TO PRODUCE THE PAPERWORK.
āAll I know is, if Dadād caught us with a big bag of pricey toys weād have just got a ding round the ear hole for nicking āem.ā
āThatās life, master.ā
āI meant, this is how itās supposed to go, master,ā said Albert.
NO. YOU MEAN THIS IS HOW IT GOES. [ā¦] IT IS HOGSWATCH, said Death, AND PEOPLE DIE ON THE STREETS. PEOPLE FEAST BEHIND LIGHTED WINDOWS AND OTHER PEOPLE HAVE NO HOMES. IS THIS FAIR?
āāWell, of course, thatās the big issue-ā Albert began.
THE PEASANT HAD A HANDFUL OF BEANS, AND THE KING HAD SO MUCH HE WOULD NOT EVEN NOTICE THAT WHICH HE GAVE AWAY. IS THIS FAIR?
āYeah, but if you gave it all to the peasant then in a year or two, heād be just as snooty as the king-ā began Albert, jaundiced observer of human nature.
NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT ITāS EASY TO BE NICE IF YOUāRE RICH. IS THIS FAIR?
Ā -Ā āHogfatherā by Sir Terry Pratchett. Ā Not the most oft-repeated part of the book, but one worth rereading.