Dana Scully + Lip Licking
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@maraudair
Dana Scully + Lip Licking

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sure i guess sex is okay but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper
I got chills just thinking about this
Remus: So hows life with a new born, Lily?
Lily: Horrible. I didn't know a person could cry this much and i just want to make it stop.
Remus: I'm sure the kid'll grow out of it-
Lily: Oh no, the baby's an angel! The kid's no trouble at all.
Remus: But you said-
James, from the baby's bedroom, sobbing: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
James: so, guys we have something to tell you. Me and lily are dating
Marauders: *stare in silence*
Lily: why are they looking at me like that?
James: well Iâm kind of the mom of the group. So they are basically meeting their dad for the first time
Lily: but itâs not gonna be anything like that⌠right?
Sirius: of course not *already grabing his glove* Can we play catch in the yard

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you: what a mudblood
me, an intellectual: you always have been such a BUTT TRUMPET! You know why? Because you've got a TRUMPETING BUTT!
and hopefully this is apt rehearsal for the 20 Year Anniversary in 2029.
Regulus Black being a death eater but quitting when his house elf was in danger
Guys letâs be real. Remus Lupin was so not the mother hen of the marauders- that bitch would skip meals to study and refuse help after full moons and laugh at his friends when their pranks would backfire.
The real mother hen was James âRemus stop picking at that scar youâre going to make it bleed, Sirius youâre not too punk for breakfast sit down and eat your eggs, Peter as much as I approve of your chess skills you need to stop and do your Charms homeworkâ Potter.
I'm listening to the Deathly Hallows audiobook and just got to the part where Harry, Ron and Hermione get inside the Ministry and Harry urges Mrs Cattermole to take her children and get out of the country as fast as she can and just...my heart is breaking at my soft, darling Mary McDonald surviving the First Wizarding War after losing everyone (her best friend Marlene and along with her Adam, James and Lily, Donna, Siriusâ a traitor in her eyes) only to have the same nightmare begin all over again... And ultimately being saved by none other than Lily Evans and James Potter's son, without even knowing.
THANK YOU these are exactly the things that make me cry harder when rereading the books now

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"You can like the writing of Joe Goldberg's character and appreciate his villainy, but at the end of the day, he does not deserve the level of love and admiration he gets from some of y'all wackos out there because he is a serial killer with entitlement issues and he needs to be taken down," I say into the mic.
The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame, when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.
"She's right," they say. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 3rd row stands: Penn Badgley
every time a tv show ends and youâre disappointed by the way things turned out, just remember:Â it canât be worse than how i met your mother
Ted saying we should wait for the person who actually likes our quirks.
Robin complaining about Ted's over-the-top romantic gestures. Tracy appreciating it.
Ted complaining about Robin being too independent. Barney telling her he loved that about her.
Barney desperately clinging to youth and Robin understanding that, as oppose to Ted who's excited to get old and settle down.
Tracy and Ted celebrating getting old together.
Barney never wanting to marry, and Robin agreeing.
Barney going down on one knee automatically when he thinks Robin might get deported.
Robin telling Ted over and over again that she doesn't want to get married.
Robin saying "let's get married" to Barney in season 4, before they even start dating, and then actually marrying him.
Barney saying that if he wasn't going to marry Robin, he'd never marry at all.
The writers not being able to think of any reason for Barney and Robin to not end up together other than Robin having a demanding work schedule.
The writers not being able to think of any reason for Tracy and Ted to not end up together other than Tracy dying.
I have never seen a show go so out of its way to show us that two couples are respectively perfect for each other (minus a sprinkle of out-of-character bullshit here and there), just to pull a complete 180 in the final episode.
It's 2017 and I'm still pissed about the ending of How I Met Your Mother.
Itâs 2020 and Iâm still pissed.

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Any thoughts on Annabeth and Percy as parents? Poseidon just changing his cap from Neptune's lucky cap to world's saltiest grandpa sjsjsns
Worldâs Saltiest Grandpa is the FUNNIEST fucking thing Iâve ever heard in my life and itâs definitely happening jskddlsjfdkls
anyway I feel like the first one would definitely be a. uh. happy surpriseâ˘
like, they havenât been married for a full year and are still settling into their new lives and one day Grover comes over to hang with Annabeth and he senses⢠something and is like âheyâŚ.sweetieâŚ.why donât we go to the drugstoreâ and she starts flipping out lmao
anyway once she gets 3 positive tests she starts going into Planning mode, sheâs got Grover there and sheâs acting all rational and sheâs talking about it to Piper and Hazel in their gc and she seems very calm and happy, and theyâre coming up with cute ways to tell Percy right
like they started planning out a whole sweet little reveal thing
but then Percy gets home from work and this poor fucker isnât even all the way in the door when she just screeches from across the room âIâM PREGNANTâ and heâs like âW H A Tâ
so theyâre screaming in excitement for most of the night after that lmao
if you think this isnâ t the biggest fucking gossip on Olympus then youâve got another thing coming
Aphrodite has swooned 12 different times since the news drooped. Hera is screaming. Hestia is about to fucking set up camp in the Jacksonâs backyard. Poseidon wonât shut the fuck up about how excited he is. Zeus is quaking. Apollo is weeping and has written multiple dramatic poems about this event. Athena is torn between fuming and excitement. Artemis has shown up to every single fucking doctorâs appointment disguised as a nurse. Weâre talking 24/7 coverage on Hephaestus TV, baby
Annabeth is one of those bitches that lowkey thrives being pregnant. constantly glowing. everyone in her birthing classes hates her lmao
Percy 100% gets sympathy cravings and you KNOW it
Sally broke the world record for âworlds longest screamâ when she found out sheâs SO excited
Piper literally will not stop buying baby stuff like every single week they get more packages of toys and clothes from her
Meanwhile Hazel and Frank wonât stop knitting baby blankets and hats and Leo built a fucking magical crib that would turn into a fucking indestructible barrier if a monster ever attacked AND includes a built in holographic light that will make the room look like itâs underwater
Percy and Annabeth are constantly just talking to the bump and not even in the cutesy way like sheâll fucking be at work and be giving out instructions and then go âthat sounds good, doesnât it _(baby name)_?â or âLinda, ____ thinks thatâs a terrible ideaâ while looking down at her stomach and her coworkers think itâs hilarious
or theyâll be arguing about something and Percyâll be like âYeah, well, at least ____ agrees with me!â lmao
She wakes up one day to find Percy put headphones on her stomach and is blasting Adele on them and sheâs like âitâs classical music to make them smarter, Percyâ and heâs like âyeah but SOMEONE in this house needs to not be emotionally stunted so Iâm giving them a chanceâ jfsksdf
100% Nico has received a desperate phone call in the middle of the night because Annabethâs craving shit that they canât get anywhere near them at 3 am so he had to go on a shadow travel run to get it for her lmao
Her mood swings get so insane but like remember on Parks and Rec when Ann was pissed at Chris for just being. TOO supportive? 100% percabeth antics
Annabeth is So Determined to work through her pregnancy and not go on leave and itâs driving Percy absolutely insane
Every single morning heâs just like babe pleaseâŚ.be a sane human⌠lmao
when she went into labor it was. hectic
they had been trying to plan a trip to either CHB or CJ so she could deliver with like Actual Healers who wonât get freaked out if people zapped into the room and also theyâd be near family rightÂ
and then the kid was like what if,,,,,,,,I came more than a month early. wouldnât that be fun
lmao so cut to a scene of Percy speeding down the streets of their little town, both of them screaming their heads of, a fucking flock of owls tailing after their car,
thereâs a heavy thunderstorm happening and Percyâs screaming âhey ZEUS! NOT THE FUCKING TIME ASSHOLE!!!!â lmao
so they get to the hospital right. Poseidon and Athena beat them there and brought their mortal families with them lmao
Everyoneâs a mess. Fredrick is about to faint and Helen and Paul are trying to get him to pull it together. Estelle is terrorizing Bobby and Matthew so those three are barely paying attention to the baby situation. Sally and Athena have already threatened five different medical professionals to get Annabeth some drugs. Poseidon is practically fucking vibratingÂ
While Annabeth is getting all settled in Percy starts calling all their friends to tell them and they are SO OFFENDED that they DARE to be in another state whilst Annabeth is delivering so everyone starts fucking scrambling to get there
Nico and Hazel shadow travel themselves, Frank, Reyna and Piper over. Leo, Calypso, Grover, Chiron, Rachel and Thalia physically wrangle Apollo into driving them there in his chariot. Magnus and Alex had to blackmail Sam to fucking fly them there. everyone else had to fend for themselves. everyone is screaming
justâŚ.imagine that fucking waiting room
Artemis did in fact disguise her way onto the delivery team and Percyâs just likeâŚ.please donât shoot my wife with an arrow. itâd be awesome if you refrained from doing that,
a nurse tried to tell Thalia that the delivery room was family only and she screamed and knocked her out before running into the room lmao
Groverâs hyperventilating practically the entire time and because of the empathy link Percyâs like dude YOU are freaking ME out so thatâs a whole situationÂ
between all the chaos in the waiting room and all the yelling in the delivery room this maternity wing has literally never been so stressed out before lmao
Annabeth looses all concept of cool and is yelling at the doctor even as sheâs pushing
Percyâs hand ends up fracturedÂ
Fredrick is streaming all this on his facebook live and Annabeth is cursing him out whenever the contractions pass
but overall it was a good, safe delivery! no arrows through the chest!
Poseidon, storming into the waiting room, screaming at the top of his godly lungs: ITâS A BOY
everyone in the waiting room:
I donât feel like coming up with names right now but the middle name IS Charles and NO I am not accepting any dissenting opinions on that
everyoneâs crying while they rotate in and out to see them lol
Apolloâs trying to prophecy about how Amazing the kid will be and Percyâs got riptide out and is like âhe is LITERALLY 3 hours oldâÂ
Pry This Baby Out Of Sally Jacksonâs Arms, I Dare You
after a while the people that had to get there themselves start appearing and making even more of a scene. Like Clarrise just bursts through the doors holding the biggest teddy bear she could find and says absolutely nothing but scowls at everyone who looks at her while sheâs holding the baby. the Stolls are fucking climbing in through the window holding a bunch of a balloons. Hedge is making mildly obnoxious jokes. all that
but anyway once they get settled back home and everything. they are the MOST paranoid first time parents lmao
every single little noise this child makes has them on edge. they tiptoe constantly. whom needs sleep
baby doctor on speed dial. âwhyâd he stop eating???!!?â ââŚmaybe heâsâŚfull?â ââŚoh.â
but when theyâre not busying worrying they have the Cutest Fucking Baby In The World, good for them
Annabeth suddenly realizes taking leave makes sense. her and Percy are like glued to this kid. so many pictures. so many videos.Â
once he gets a little older and they have to, like, have Lives again, Percy constantly brings him to the aquarium with him and itâs. CUTE.
the baby LOVES looking at all the fish and petting dolphins omg
okay Iâm tired so this is getting away from me but overall Iâd see them having like maybe 3 or 4 kids.Â
all super cute. all smart. all get up to whacky antics.
add onto this if anyone wants to lol butâŚ.iconicly cute parents percy and annabeth thank you goodnight
Pillow fight:)