so, the shattering of a heart could have a sound

this was a request from @maomaopilled so the idea is hers! :3

There are two great problems with what happened to Margaret (and that her parents are trying to do to Juliet). One is easy for modern people to spot (but was also a common response back in her own day). And that’s the moral implications of what was done to her. She was too young to be married, and it was horrifying that she was forced into it so young. Every one of the adults around her either acted immorally or failed to protect her. They were wrong. This is what modern people see, and it’s important to remember that people back in her day mostly agreed with it. You’re supposed to think it’s fucked up! When girls were married that young (and it didn’t happen often!) it was a formality 99% of the time. It was for dynastic or financial reasons (the girl has lots of money and/or land and/or a title that her husband wants), but the “couple” don’t consummate their marriage for years. And it’s not just that they would have separate bedrooms. They might not even live in the same country until the girl was in her late teens and physically and mentally mature enough to bear and raise kids. Hell, a lot of times they didn’t even meet until the girl was older! They had this thing called “proxy marriage” where you would have two separate ceremonies, in two separate places, with each party saying their vows separately, one in one city and the other in a different one. So, yeah, sure, the girl was technically married at 12, but she didn’t actually meet her “husband” in person until she was 17 and they didn’t start sleeping together until she was 20. That was a thing they did.

The other problem, the one that modern people don’t notice, is dynastic. See, marriage wasn’t generally because you loved someone. It was because you had the resources to support a family, and you or your family wanted to pool those resources with someone. It’s about “our family has these resources, and we want that to continue.” It’s about continuity across generations. It’s about making sure that your children and grandchildren have the best possible resources to survive and thrive, whether those resources are land or a trade or a title or money or whatever. In order for this to work, you have to have kids! The family and the family’s resources depend on the married couple having children. If the couple doesn’t have children, the marriage is a failure. And that failure affects not only the couple, but both families. This is a really big problem. And you can’t have just one kid to pass on the family name, because half of all kids die in early childhood. If you want to be safe, you need several kids, to be sure at least one will survive to adulthood (when they can marry and pass on the family name and resources.

You know what happens when a girl has her first pregnancy too young? She is very likely to either die in childbirth, or have complications that destroy her future fertility. Just like Margaret Beaufort. Just like Juliet’s mother. In other words, the marriage is a failure, not just for her, but also for her family, and her husband (who can’t divorce her, it’s not allowed except in extremely rare circumstances), and her husband’s family. So even the people who didn’t have a moral problem with adult men having sex with pubescent girls had a practical problem with girls married too young because you are very likely to destroy the entire purpose of the marriage by doing it. As Shakespeare reminds us in the play through Juliet’s mother having been married too young and only having one child.

another thing i noticed, the year my local community shakespeare theater did r&j, and i made the costumes so i got to watch the show every night: part of why capulet is telling paris, take your time, get to know each other, no rush, is that he still has his nephew tybalt as his heir. as long as tybalt is in the picture, there is no pressure on juliet to go further with paris, than get acquainted. once tybalt is killed, then suddenly capulet needs an heir, he needs a husband for juliet, now, this week. (the role of capulet is best given to the actor in the company that can do over the top apoplexy, you need to believe his urgency comes at least in part by how clearly he could drop dead any moment from giving himself a stroke)

i feel like this play is often taught in middle schools as if it was somehow relevant to, or about, teen hormone storms. really it's got more to do with the social structures around family and inheritance. leaving that context out makes it confusing, why is capulet suddenly flipping from nice dad to evil dad?

Lower class women had a lot more freedom in choosing a husband. For the most part, they got to make the choice to continue or end a courtship, accept an engagement, and set the pace. Even if their families wanted them to marry someone specific, in the end, the woman had the say. It wasn’t seen as a Godly marriage if she was forced.

The upper class was much more restrictive, mainly with the fathers arranging the courtships and complicated legal issues, such as expensive dowries and their involvement in the economy, and inheritance laws. But the key similarity between lower and upper class courtships was the idea of consent.

Consent was still incredibly important in the upper class. There’s a very popular misconception that the church would just marry whoever as long as they were both upper class. However, in reality, if the church found out the bride or groom did not consent to the marriage and were being forced into it, the church was not allowed to not marry them. It was seen as ungodly and, in many ways, blasphemous, as marriage was seen as a sanctity of God. To marry someone against your will was considered an insult to God and marriage.

That is not to say there weren’t corrupt priests marrying without consent anyway. Margaret Beaufort was under the legal age of marriage and was still married at 12, and it was insinuated that Juliet’s mother was, as well.

Sadly, as we know, forced marriages still happened. The true nature of many them were just hidden from the church or done by corrupt priests. That’s what Shakespeare was writing about.

R&J was not written to be a tragic love story. It was written as social commentary against the social marriage norms for the upper class that was starting to influence the lower class.

Shakespeare’s audience was mostly plebeian, despite his numerous court performances for the royal family and nobility. They would have been horrified at the insinuation of the cycle of child marriage (Juliet’s mother married young, so expected Juliet to do the same), the insinuation of fertility issues, Capulet’s threat to kick Juliet out of the house if she didn’t marry against her will, her being under the age of consent to marry, and the oppressive process of choosing a husband for a noble daughter.

Romeo and Juliet are not stupid children. They’re 16 and 14 respectively, without a single adult looking out for their best interests (yes, even Friar Lawrence, but that’s a different can of worms). Their families are engaged in a blood feud, breaking every marriage law known to man, and are selfish and egocentric.