Mamma Patrick Says No

i hate how reward systems never work for me like i can’t just say “if i finish this assignment i can have a cookie” bc my brain is like “…..or u could just have one right now” and i can’t argue with that logic

Self-imposed deadlines don’t work either because I know the guy who set them and he’s full of shit

Don’t trust morning you. Morning you is a dick. Morning you would sell your loved ones if it got them 5 minutes of extra sleep

maybe morning me wouldn’t be such a dick if that flaky bitch evening me had gone to bed instead of tumblring til butts oclock int he morning

Well evening me might have fallen asleep at a reasonable hour if that dumbass afternoon me hadn’t lain down for a “little nap” that lasted four hours.

I had this girl in my class and she was considered to be like really dumb. She’d ask a ton of doubts and questions in class, which everybody would consider to be “stupid"and “silly” and even the teachers would often taunt her but she’d never stop asking. But the thing was that she’d almost always top the class examinations and everyone was like???? They all thought she was cheating and stuff and obviously even the teachers were very biased because she wasn’t so ‘smart’ in class, and she was regularly accused of cheating. But nobody could prove that she was actually cheating but the whole class and teachers totally believed that she did. I’m pretty socially awkward so I never really talked to her, but she was leaving school this year and I was genuinely curious about how she was so good during exams and how she didn’t let everyone’s remarks affect her. She always used to sit and hang out with only one girl, and she told me that that friend of hers was severely socially anxious and she’d lag in studies because she couldn’t bring herself to ask doubts in class or ask for help from others. So they had this system where during lectures her friend would write down any question she had, and she would ask them for her. And I was just so touched??? Idk but it really changed the way I looked at people?? This girl endured taunts and jeers and borderline bullying for being “stupid” when she was actually really smart and could easily have refused to ask such doubts for her friend but she did?? And brushed off everything others would throw at her for her friend?? I was just, idk it just really changed me in some way.

Awe he gave him a thumbs down

most tumblr jokes are utterly embarassing to say in public but today i said to someone “bold of you to assume i have dignity” and i won’t lie it was the most powerful I’ve felt in years

Wait, if their names are puns on their power, then Violet is ultraviolet which is invisible to the human eye.

SHUT UP.

13 years

Y'all are gonna flip your shit when i tell you about Dash

Do you ever fantasise so hard that you’re just like “fuck. I’m gonna be so mad when that doesn’t happen”

This is literally how I would have done it

9 is a hungry bitch and takes one from 7, making it 10+6=16

VALID

Yknow when you let someone use one of your Good Pens™️ and theyre like “this is a really good pen” like 👀👌🏾i know and im watching u bicth

maybe you MILLENIALS would be able to afford a house if you stopped spending your money at your local diner’s jukebox buying twenty one (21) plays of what’s new pussycat with one (1) play of it’s not unusual in the middle

Does everyone just inexplicably know this

weird how 15 years from now it might be ur wedding or ur kids birthday but rn it’s just a regular shitty day

What the heck, I love this.