C'EST LA VIE BOHÈME

OWNING A HOME SUCKS.

Not gonna lie, owning a home kinda sucks. I'm fortunate to have what I have, but dude. Shit breaks nonstop. My bathroom currently doesn't have a door knob and locks with a bolt that is also broke and has no "handle"

This is more speaking to the void. It's been a few years, I think about you once and awhile. Not in a way of longing, but more curious how you've been. I wonder if you do the same. For a long while, I blamed you 100 percent for the way things ended. Convinced you dragged me through the mud for years for reasons I didn't understand. With time, I accepted that I was obviously responsible for the way things ended. I understand or at least suspect you were confused and unsure as much as I was. I'm not good with words much anymore, so I can't fully explain why I acted the way I did. BP was a contributing factor, but not the only one. I've always lacked self-confidence, and was extremely insecure. I put you on this pedestal, that you were so amazing that why would you ever engage with someone like me. That one day you would realize I was born trash, and just drop me. Often I was so on edge that when you were busy or just needing some space and time that I thought was uh... too much? That's not right. I don't know how to explain it.