Kentucky Fried Cassowary

薫秋元 - Dress Down (1986)

★ Store ★

It’s time for a year end sale! I’ve got a lot of plans for new merch, so I need to clear out some old stuff to make room. I’ve also got a couple brand new items, like my Alolan Pokemon Prism Stickers and my super fancy Majora’s Mask and Fire Emblem Fates leatherette journals :>

I have this head canon about married Lonbin that they cut each other’s hair. Robin isn’t as skilled with the scissors as Lon’qu though. But Lon’qu gets embarrassed really easy from seeing the nape of Robin’s neck and thinks it’s adorable.

According to Wikipedia, Marmaduke is 87 minutes long. Which seems kind of short for a feature movie, but whatever, that’s merciful. For ease of math, let’s just round that to ninety minutes–an hour and a half.

For the sake of Science, I listened to the Nutshack theme (dear god it’s worse than I remember). I was able to count 19 instances of “Nutshack” for certain, and I’m sure there’s at least one, possibly more, that I missed because you have a point where the characters are saying Nutshack at the same time the chorus is saying Nutshack, though I’m not going back to confirm because I am not that much of a masochist. So that means that a single instance of ‘Bee’ in Bee movie takes… 30 hours to resolve (the length of the Nutshack theme is negligible here compared to the rounding we’re already doing). That’s a day and a quarter of this hell. So, we can fit one instance of Bee Movie in our timeslot if they say ‘Bee’ a total of… 44.8 times throughout.

I counted.

They say ‘Bee’ or ‘Bees’ (not counting Bee included in part of a word like Beekeeper, or in a compound pun) a total of 149 times. That’s right. With only Bee Movie you’re going to be here for 186 days, and 7 hours (extra hour for the parts of Bee Movie that aren’t them saying ‘Bee’). But then there’

Antz is, notably, more restrained than Bee Movie (also harder to CTRL+F through, because it’s actually the full script that’s posted, with scene descriptions). They only say ‘ant’ 50 times. But every single time they it, it starts a 186 day-long chain reaction.

You are going to be watching this for TWENTY-FIVE YEARS. TWENTY FIVE YEARS OF MARMADUKE,  because that’s almost all that you’ll be watching. You might be able to follow the plot of Bee Movie, if you keep notes. But the snippets of Antz you get are going to be separated by periods of half a year. Sometimes they’ll say ‘ant’ twice in a sentence, and there goes your entire year. And that’s if you watch non-stop. It gets even worse if you factor in any kind of time to eat and sleep.

Kubo and the Two Strings