The Emperor Protects

this is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.

listen I ain't accusing nobody of stealing the blade of winds, I'm just saying it's weird how all of a sudden your cousin Ronnie's moped'll do 140 miles per hour uphill

im MIND PREGNANT with DARK CONCEPTS

I always find it so funny when “all alpha legionnaires look completely alike!” is such a common statement when in the first scene where they pull that trick, a completely ordinary (well, as ordinary as a Lucifer black can be) can easily distinguish between three that actually do try to look alike

mamercus marines primarch mamercus was lost when he slipped so sadly down a scary pool drain . when asked for commwnt the emperor offered the following statement to the press: SAD! well theres other guys

a mamercus marines can be used somwhat effectivly against noise marines due to the Quietude of their gentle glow which reduces sounds to a quiets temperature. However due to their penchant for being crushed by heavy objects and slipping over on hazards the area must be scouted for acme anvils and banana peels beforehands

i wish i could post about mamercus marines on here but unfortunately its way too hard to explaon what it means

they r like if mamercus hatched an useless army out of his eggs and theyr main talents were glowing quietly and considernfully and being crushed by objects

meows loud as fuck shattering all glass within 3 miles no survivors

teens are reportedly "serpentmaxxing" by crawling on their bellies and eating dust all the days of their lives

hmm.... im starting to think maybe the torture machine Isnt ideal.... *sees someone else criticize the torture machine* Actually the torture machine was the best thing that ever happened to me. I love the torture machine. The torture machine is wonderful. We need the torture machine. We need the torture machine