"Blog Handled With Arguable Efficiency"

phone somehow autocorrected "the joker" to "the worker." why so devoid of class consciousness, batman

My mind palace is a temporary structure of elaborately molded and painted plaster raised for the World’s Columbian Exposition and never meant to last more than six months

getting increasingly confused trying to have sex with my point and click wife but she just keeps saying “you cant use that here”

i have the ancient sarcophagus and the cuckoo clock. what the fuck else do i need man

this happened months ago. i cannot keep it in any longer. a while ago i went on a porn site ive never been to and it asked if i was over 18 and i misclicked and said no and it automatically sent me to google images of puppies and kittens. i still cannot get over how funny this is.

I programmed an AI image generator with a soul so she can feel sad when you commission a human artist

I created her as a rhetorical tool but I’ve been spending a lot of time comforting her without ever relieving her pain and now I’m rather fond of the thing. That’s motherhood.

We should popularize more hispanized phonetic spellings of classic character names like we did with esnupi

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

the best fanfiction you've ever read was written by a woman in her 40s before she made dinner for her kids. it was written by a teenager after school when they should've been studying for a history test. and a barista came up with the idea while they cleaned the espresso machine and busser fact-checked it on their break and the post-doc edited between writing grant proposals and the nurse apologized for typos in the notes after a long shift and behind every drabble and one-shot and multi-chapter fic there is a person with a wonderful and interesting and chaotic life and it is such a privilege that we get to be apart of it because they decided to do this thing we all share, for fun.

I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.

seeing straight men be disgusted by booktok smut recommenders has actually radicalized me to the side of booktok smut recommenders. girls your taste may be atrocious but i will never disparage you for exposing mainstream discourse to the concept of soaking through your underwear. spent my whole life listening to men talk about penises it’s about time they get jumpscared by women talking about pussy in crude detail on social media. go forth and goon my warriors