Internet Angel

- 2/3 of an apple

- protein bar

- protein mousse

Total: 340 calories

I walked 27k steps (unemployment final boss)

Weight today: 48.3 kg 🎀

I feel so tiny now that I weigh 48 kg ♡

Bmi: 18

I don't know how I never had the discipline to just eat barely nothing. I feel like it's even easier than eating 700-900 calories a day.

I went to a party yesterday and didn't eat anything until 9:30 in the evening because the friend I went with cooked us pasta with minced meat, tomato sauce and onions. I assume my plate had 400-600 calories.

I walked 14k steps though, went to the gym that day and danced for hours so I burned that damn greasy pasta. I declined her offer for melted chease on the pasta, cream puffs, cake and ice cream. 🍝🧀🍰🍦

Learn to say no! ⭐️🪽

+ i noticed everyone staring at my long thin legs in heels

+ i got a compliment for my skinny figure

+ when guys touched my back or hips, they felt my bones

(I am still fat though, my body fat percentage is too high)

It's 10 a.m. I only slept for 3 hours and feel like trash. I know that I am only 20 and need to make the most out of my young years and I also know that I kind of asked for it, but I still feel like a used b1tch now.

The party

I went to a party and holy hell... I know that I looked good.

My long skinny legs in a skirt with my naturally wavy/curly hair and smokey eyes look made the men go crazy. I did own the dance floor with my friend, I got compliments for my dancing aswell but being constantly shoved into the middle with random men touching me made me feel like a public use doll.

The party photograher took so many photos of me until he suddenly put his arms around my waist and started to press his d into my a*s and grind into me.

Every time we went to the outside area, we got flirted with and asked out aswell. But the worst was my friend talking to weird guys because they had the VIP access to the lounge. Like the brat I am, I laughed at him and declined the offer but she dragged me along... they wanted to "buy us drinks" and I asked for a diet coke.

The guy I mocked revenged me by giving me a whiskey coke?! They tried to get us really drunk to sleep with us. He was constantly whispering in my ear that he wants to put his hand under my skirt too..

BUT WAIT! THE WORST IS YET TO COME!

The way home...

Because I am a crazy exhibitionistic and no sense for danger having freak I walked the super long way through the most suspicious looking streers dancing like a ballerina. I wanted to get dragged into a car. Approached. More than that. Touched. It's all I fantasize about online, no ?

Well, then it happened. 3 guys within 5 minutes. One older man, completely cold, he definetly just wanted to use me quickly. I managed to run away before he could get to me though. A guy a little older than me wanting to get me into his hotel room. He said that I was the "perfect petite girl for his massive d*ck" and a 28 year old muscular dude that actually pulled my arm and tried to get me into his car. I was terrified. All of this is so different irl when it's dark and nobody is there to save you. I thought I was gonna get stabbed!!!

It's my own fault. I deliberately brought myself into these circumstances. I wasn't drunk, I wasn't high, I was just h0rny and didn't let anyone hit. Whenever a man tried to dance with me, I ignored them. I just get too flustered! I just go crazy on my friend instead xD

I won't tell anyone about ANY of this. This is so pathetic. And I want to become a lawyer one day, ha-ha-ha.

But fuck, why do I also feel euphoric about everything that happened...

Maybe I just need more sleep T-T

I woke up weighing:

48.7 kg (Bmi 18.1 now 🦢)

I feel proud but also very tired.

I am not used to eating so little and so far nobody asked if I lost any weight...

Yesterday I only had some fruits in the evening and today I will go to a party with a friend and she will cook pasta with chicken and broccoli for us meaning I won't eat shit before 9:30 p.m

That is gonna be my first warm meal in 5 days. I guess I deserve it.

My hands are shaking, I only had coffee and gum so far and I still want to hit the gym today. :(

Is it all even worth it if I don't see any results?

Today I had:

- 150 g of currants

- 1/3 of a cantaloupe

Total: ~ 300 cals ⭐️🪽

+ I walked 12k steps :>

15.07.26

Today I ate:

- Barebells Salty Caramel Crunch Protein Bar

- one apricot

- konjak jelly maracuja flavour

- 250 g of greek joghurt with two spoons of protein powder and blueberries

Total: ~ 470 cals

+ I hit the gym and did some intense cardio today, I walked 11k steps in total

I pretend to be so cool, dominant and outgoing, nobody knows I actually am a femcel with 0 dates, chats or flings right now. I have e sex on discord because I get so h0rny, I have subs that buy me gifts and dc kittens that send me n00ds. I have childish interests and a whimsical mind behind my political, intellectual and argumentative demeanour. Instead of buying make up, I buy children toys because dolls make me happy. I swear, I am a serious law student!!!

My charisma makes people think I dominate social settings and I do, but deep down I am still a loser!!! I am just a young woman that used to get bullied, has been lonely all her life, never was liked, always abandoned, super ugly during most of my teen years and now I am suddenly desirable. People *want* to hang out with me. I get approached and asked out regulary. WHY?! I am an evil loser foid that only cares about herself.

I STILL don't understand social settings or can read a room, do not know my limits, make jokes at bad times, am too sarcastic and secretly get off of other people suffering. I have a god complex and desire to become the greatest in my bloodline. I mostly talk to myself, I am a narcissistic schizotypical sociopath, I constantly steal, lie, gaslight and enjoy getting eye fucked. I cum to videos of myself getting off. Like a maniac.

I have such exhibitionistic tendencies, it is crazy. I go outside with the hope of strangers looking at me like they want to fuck me. Knowing I turn someone on with my pure presence makes me wet.

I love porn, magical girls and being in my own world. I am improving and destroying myself at the same time. Although I am so confident and outspoken, I lacked social connections all my life and up to this day, it is still deeply affecting me.

current bmi: 18.3 🪽

Today I had:

small protein bar for breakfast (Hazelnut Nougat)

two apricots

sugar-free cherry candy (only 72 cals !!)

red bull sugar free

small sushi package with cucumber (no sauce)

small protein bar for dinner (Rasperry Dark Chocolate)

Total: ~ 600 calories // 30g of protein

I also walked 14k steps ^^

I'd rather not eat two protein bars a day again, I kind of started getting addicted to them but they really help with my sugary cravings. 600 cals still is low though. 🫧🦢

Hi angels, I wanted to share something exciting. The scale said 49.3 kg today, that is the lowest weight I ever had.

(I only hit it once and entered a binging phase on that same day.. that is not going to happen today.)

Unfortunately, I still look exactly the same. I don't really feel skinny but I guess it's still something to be proud of.

My next goal is 48 kg :>

I had a nice protein bar for breakfast, it was from ESN the Hazelnut Nougat edition 🌰🍫 xD

It reminded me of the Nutella I am not able to eat anymore :') (~190 cals, 14 g of protein) x-X

13.07.26

I DID NOT GAIN ANY WEIGHT FROM MY BINGING YESTERDAY!!! STILL 49.7 KG STILL UNDER 50 KILOS OH MY GOD THE RELIEF I FELT. THANK GOD I HIT THE GYM YESTERDAY! :0

I had an interview for a part-time job today, before that I had a Barebells Protein Bar for breakfast. I can really recommend it, it has 200 cals, 20g of protein and it tasted so delicious. Peanut Butter flavour btw!! 🥜

I'm a BIIIIG sucker for fruit, so I also had an apricot.

After my interview, I hit the gym and ate some seaweed. 10k steps also done. 🦢🫧

At home, my mother tried to convince me to eat her chicken and rice with sauce but I only ate two spoons. I had another apricot and a bigger bowl of watermelon though. SO YUMMY.

Honestly, I could eat a ton more, but I will remain disciplined :p

Total calories: ~ 450

Protein: ~ 30 g

+ gym work out, steps (diet coke saved me)

And I feel like such a hoe because I love being stared at in the gym and eye fucking people. The gym is such a horny place, it gives me all the sexual energy back ana is taking from me. The gym air does something to me aswell, it's the opposite from school air. (Thank god I am out of high school already) xD xD

Today I will show up for myself. I will eat under 500 calories today. I will have a successful job interview for a part-time job. Today I will hit the gym again. I will weigh under 50 kg again this week. My binge from yesterday won't go on. I will buy healthy groceries today. I will walk 10.000 steps.

FUCK!!!

I am raging.

My mom said she wants to start working out again, I already fucking know it will be like a competition who works out more and eats less since she already is so petite. Eating in this household is weird anyways, everyone tries to eat as little as possible and my mom and sister are both smaller than me hahahah

I just need to be better. Becoming a true angel means eating way less than I did before. I can do that!!!! I will eat my next warm meal on a Friday. :3 Until then... Konjak Jelly, Coke Zero, Protein Bars, Protein Shakes, Skyr... stuff like that~

Hiii angels, my name is Ceci :3 I want to start my wl journey and I am gonna blog my cal intake, my diet, my thoughts and my progress here, if anyone will ever see this... have fun with my unhinged diary ehehe 🪽 ^^

A little bit about me:

Age: 20

Ethnicity: 🇪🇸+🇬🇷+🇮🇹

Mbti: Entj

Zodiac sign: Gemini

Height: 164 cm (5'5)

Current Weight: 49.7 kg (109 pounds)

Goal weight: 45 kg (99 pounds)

Bmi: 18.5

On a personal note:

I binged today. I try to eat 600-800 cals every day, sometimes 1000 when I go to the gym. I know, like a pig... I don't know if I will still be under 50 kg tomorrow 😭 I struggle with eating and body dysmorphia, sometimes ana, mostly binging, since I was 13. I'd consider myself to be skinny fat, I have a small frame but my face is still like a puffy fish. 🐡

I started hitting the gym 4 times a week three weeks ago. I eat lots of protein aswell so I don't lose my hair or period but eh... I end up over eating once a week anyways, so does it really matter? Going to the gym 4 times a week and walking a minimum of 10k steps a day is no challenge to me, it's the damn eating.

I don't know how to continue, I think I need to eat less. I want to be a ⭐️🪽 angel so bad but I just can't not eat... I will try to eat as little as I can for the next days though. Maybe 600 cals as maximum. Ugh, I feel so bloated, fuck!!! I hate myself.

That's all from your favourite internet angel today though! See you tomorrow cuties :D I luvvv (ed) blogging ahaha