My biggest mistake

Parkour civilization is so real for having every character never introduce themselves and by the time you actually get to know them its too late to ask for their name so you just awkwardly sit there. Shout out to such wonderful names as “The Parkour Villain” “Evbo’s Master Friend” “The Old Man” “Pro Neighbor”, the literal only guy that gets a name is Seawatt and thats just cause of the implanted memory.

in the closet? nah man i’m in a coffin. i’m underground. yeah bro im being buried alive but it’s okay dude my heart is still beating. yeah man there is still time

"why is EVERY song about love" I'm begging you to dig just a tiny bit deeper, there's literally thousands of songs that aren't love songs. You don't even have to look for the most obscure underground artists ever, the fucking Beatles of all people have a song about a guy who kills people with a hammer

You can tell this post has breached containment by the people saying "everything is about love" maybe to you, to me everything is about killing people with a hammer

Killing people with a hammer is what makes us human

if you befriend enough weirdos you can get lectures for free

My mum said last night, “If I was a gothic heroine I’d simply live, because if a creepy Victorian lady offered me tea I’d simply say no thank you, I have no taste for puddle water.”

i want to be left alone

when i was a kid i wanted to be a famous youtuber like dan and phil so that people would gay ship me with my irl best friend and we would be sooo weirded out by it and laugh and make videos joking about it but secretly it would make her realize her repressed gay crush on me and i'd help her through her gay crisis and then we would have a sickeningly sweet sappy romance and read fanfiction about ourselves together... anyways just found out she's married to a guy in the mafia now so i probably don't have a chance

the shame of making a connection irl and them being like omg can i have your insta??? snapchat????? and having to be like sorry i live in a gap between two tree roots youre just going to have to normal text me like some kind of animal

if interview with the vampire was real hbomberguy would do a video essay 'debunking' Daniel's book from a starting position of 'guys cmon this daniel molloy person is obviously a scam artist & I'm going to prove it' and then it would be like a 6 hour descent into madness bcos the evidence is just too compelling and at the end he'd be like 'fuck it. vampires are real i guess. unrelatedly I'm moving to another country and i'm not saying which one.'

im not even the type of guy to go "actually it's frankenstein's MONSTER" because a painting by rembrandt or picasso or any other artist is often called "a rembrandt" or "a picasso" as shorthand. so in this respect frankenstein's monster can be considered "a frankenstein"

darling I love your 8 foot tall patchwork flesh creature, it really livens up the place. is that an authentic frankenstein?

it's only a true frankenstein if it was produced in the frankenstein region of switzerland. otherwise it's just a sparkling homunculus